Memories Ch. 05

Three long weeks later and Chris was finally on his way home. Working with Alan Rickman and Bill Pullman had been the experience of a lifetime, but he couldn't wait to get home to Larissa.

He had never felt a sexual need so commanding in his life. Just thinking about Larissa was making him hard. Chris fumbled with his keys, hands shaking, as he unlocked their apartment door. Just as he was about to turn the handle, the door opened.

"Larissa," he breathed, pushing the door open further with his body. He grabbed her face and pulled her to him.

"Chri..." he cut off her startled response with passionate kissing. He didn't stop kissing her. At some point, one of them managed to close the door as they continued making out like horny teenagers.

Chris grabbed her behind and pulled her closer. Larissa whimpered into his mouth as he pressed himself against her. They practically tore at each other. Chris wanted to climb under her skin.

He felt her body respond as he ran his hands up her shirt, eliciting a contented sigh from Larissa as her nipples hardened. A growl escaped his own throat as he felt her hand rub the outside of his jeans.

One of Chris' hands headed south down the front of Larissa's shorts. He teased her, rubbing through the fabric of her underwear, lighting brushing his fingertips along the edges.

"Ohh," her face contorted as she let out a sound of half-whimper,half-moan. The heat radiating from her nether regions just fueled his desire. His member pressed painfully against his clothing. Just as he was about to free himself from the confines of his boxers and jeans, Chris felt Larissa do it for him and take him in her hand.

"Oh God," he moaned, closing his eyes, as Larissa worked her hand up and down his shaft...Not that it needed any prompting.

In one fluid movement, Chris knocked her hand away, pulled her shorts and underwear down, and lifted Larissa off the ground, pulling her against him. She wrapped her legs around him, her cries of surprise quickly turning into those of intense pleasure as Chris entered her.

They caught each other's gaze, staring at each other for a long moment, no need for words. Suddenly Chris turned around, pinning Larissa against the door. He slowly worked himself deeper inside of her, granting both of them time to catch their breath. He couldn't stand it for long, though, and he was soon pounding her noisily against the door.

Before long, they were reaching a crescendo. He and Larissa both made noises that night that he had never heard from either of them before and would only hear again when he had been gone on set for several weeks, or longer, without seeing each other at all. Chris was not usually a very boisterous climaxer, but that night he turned into what sounded like a very loud, very primitive caveman. His moans and groans of pleasure frightened him a little. Larissa, on the other hand, sounded as if she should have been in a porno...Mixed a little with what sounded like someone getting murdered, at the end.

Chris pummeled into her almost thoughtlessly, yet at the same time, it felt as though he were experiencing everything at a heightened level. It was like every nerve in his body stood at attention. Feeling Larissa milking him from the inside, quickly reaching her own climax, finally forced him over the edge. It was almost painful, allover his body, as he released himself inside of her, so intense and overwhelmed was his entire being at that point in time.

Chris' pace finally slowed and he caught Larissa looking at him as he opened his eyes. She looked as if she were in pain, on the brink of crying.

"Are you ok?" he spoke softly, face filling with concern. She continued trying to catch her breath.

"I think so," she laughed a little. "I've never..."

"Me neither," Chris cut her off and kissed her tenderly on the lips.

"That was..." Larissa paused. "I don't even have the words," her breathing finally started returning to a normal rate.

"Me neither. Let's go take a shower," he suggested as he turned towards the bedroom, still carrying her.

"What?" Chris chuckled as the hot water beat down his back. Larissa stared at him with a goofy grin on her face. The twinkle had returned to her eyes, at least momentarily.

She shook her head slightly, as if shaking herself from her thoughts.

"I just missed you so much. I'm glad you're home," Larissa wrapped her arms around him.

"Me too," Chris sighed and hugged her back. They stood there in each other's arms with the water washing over them for a long time, just happy to be together again.

"Is this always going to be so hard?" Larissa asked.

"God, I hope not," he hugged her tighter.

"Surely it will get easier, right?"

"I think so. I don't think it helped with everything else that had been going on. Actually, in hindsight, I feel terrible for even taking that job. I should have waited." Chris rubbed her shoulders.

"Don't be silly. You know I wouldn't have let you turn it down on my behalf. It's what we do, Chris. It's not like we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into, right?"

"So you're not mad at me?"

"Of course not! I'm just glad you're home now. It's just something we're going to have to get used to, whether we like it or not," she shrugged her shoulders.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Chris smiled.

"Who said you did?" Larissa teased as she tried to spin away from him.

"Oh! That was a low blow!" Chris spun her back around to face him, unable to keep the amusement from his face.

"Seriously, though," he took her hand. "I love you and I've never been so happy to be home," he kissed her hand. "Now, turnaround."

"What? Why?" Larissa laughed a little.

"Just do it," he spun his finger in the air. She did as she was told while Chris soaped her loofah up.

"What are you up to?" Larissa asked, an untrusting tone to her voice.

"I'm just trying to be nice. Damn." He scrubbed her back.

"Christopher, when are you ever just being 'nice' when we're in the shower together?"

Uh oh. There was his full first name. He smirked to himself. Chris loved when she did that. Plus, he would be lying if he said his intentions were completely pure. They had started out that way, but seeing Larissa naked and wet was just too much, even after the intense sex they had just had in the living room.

"You know what I was thinking about the whole way home?" Chris' voice lowered.

"What's that?" He caught a shiver pass through her.

"About how I couldn't wait to make love to you," he kissed her exposed neck.

"Is that so?" Larissa tried to keep up her reverie, though her breathing became labored. "Well, you're going to have to try again because I don't think that thing we just did counts," she teased.

"What do you mean?" Chris laughed.

"That was too...rough, to count as 'making love'. That was more like 'making each other cum as hard and fast as we could'...Not that I'm complaining," Larissa turned to face him again.

Chris sighed playfully. "Well, I suppose I'm willing to give it another shot and try and get it right this time," he smiled as he kissed her.

"Only if you promise we can do that other thing again some other time," Larissa whispered in his ear. "Now, finish washing me so we can get dirty again."

He and Larissa took their time making love, no longer feeling an overwhelming need to consume each other as quickly as possible. They lay there wrapped in each other's arms a long time afterward, just staring at each other, goofy smiles on both of their faces, not feeling the need for words just yet. Larissa eventually rolled over toward the nightstand.

"Oh my God! It's 2:30 in the morning!"

Chris laughed. "Good thing neither of us has to be anywhere early, right?" Larissa nodded her head in agreement.

"How about we do this all day tomorrow?" a twinkle of mischief glinted in her eyes.

"Sounds perfect," he kissed her forehead.

"Do you think we'll miss this when we're old and decrepit?"

"Miss what, exactly?"

"Making love until the wee hours of the morning...Hell, being able to stay up this late at all...Or being able to have sex at all without a hip going out on us or something." They both laughed.

"I'm sure we will miss being able to have nights like tonight, but I hope neither of us are ever in that bad of shape," he chuckled. Chris brushed a loose strand of her blonde hair away from her face and just looked at her again for a while in silence.

"What are you thinking about?" Larissa finally asked.

Chris' eyes clouded over and he looked away at last.

"What is it?" Larissa's brows furrowed.

"Nothing. I wasn't going to bring it up tonight."

"Please?" she insisted. Chris let out a breath.

"How are you doing? Really." Larissa reached over and stroked the side of his face.

"I feel a lot better. Honestly. I feel a lot more like myself again. 90%," she paused. "I've still had some rough patches, but they come and go. They're not day-long ordeals any more. Dr.Laura is really great...That reminds me, I need to thank your mom still for recommending her. Oh! Speaking of, your mom wants us to come over for dinner Sunday."

"Of course," Chris smiled. "I'm really glad you're feeling better. You sounded better over the phone, but...I wasn't sure if you were just putting on a brave face, so to speak, so I wouldn't worry about you as much. You know I didn't want you to come home alone,don't you?"

Larissa just nodded, averting her gaze from him.

"I feel so much better now, even from just a few weeks ago."

"I'm glad to have you back," Chris tilted her face up to his. "All of you," he kissed her softly on the lips.

Chris' eyes fluttered open and shut, catching glimpses of his wife's beautiful face riddled with concern and fear. He could hear her calling his name, but it was like his ears were full of cotton or he was under water...

Little did he know at the time, but life was about to become a whirlwind, even more so than it had already been. The morning after he returned home from filming Bottle Shock, he received a phone call from his agent that would change his life.

"I swear to God if that's Rickman asking about you again..."Chris panted as he reached for his phone on the bedside table. He and Larissa had just finished making love for the third time that morning. He checked the number before answering.

"Shit, I've gotta take this. It's my agent," Chris hopped out of bed completely naked, grabbed his phone, and closed the bathroom door behind him.

"Hey, Lenny. What's up?"

"Chris, my boy. I have a huge opportunity for you. Free up your schedule tomorrow." He made a mental note of the time and place Lenny told him and exited the bathroom.

"What was that about?" Larissa asked, still lying naked under the covers.

"My agent. Evidently he's got something big lined up for me. Some audition for a big, but very secretive, project."

"Oh. Awesome," she forced a smile. Chris could tell she was trying to hide her disappointment.

"It's tomorrow at 2:30. At least we have today?" he offered. Chris sat on the edge of the bed next to her.

"Yah. No, it's great news," she shook her head, lost in thought.

"You know, you're not very good at hiding your emotions for being an actress," he elbowed her playfully.

"Well, it's different when they're real," Larissa replied curtly, throwing him off. She had never talked to him like that before, not for real, anyways. That was just the beginning of the roller coaster of emotions they would soon be on.

That week was also the week Larissa discovered, much to his chagrin, that he likes to sing.

Despite Larissa's cold shoulder, Chris was in an exceptionally good mood before his audition the next day.

"Somewhere...beyond the sea..." he sang the old Bobby Darin tune as he showered, thinking Larissa was out. He continued singing as he opened the door to his bedroom to get dressed.

"My lover waits ooonn..." Chris stopped singing abruptly as soon as he realized Larissa was sitting on the bed, staring at him, mouth agape.

"What? I thought you were out." His face burned and he knew it had probably just grown three shades redder almost instantly.

"H-how long have you been sitting there?"

"Long enough," she replied, eyes still wide. "Chris, where did you learn to sing like that?"

"I don't know," he answered quickly after a long pause. "I mean, I never really took any lessons...I've always enjoyed singing...I just don't do it around other people."

"Oh. My. God. Are you...embarrassed?!" Larissa's eyes lit up.

"Shut up," was all he could think to mumble.

"Why are you embarrassed? You're really good!" she rubbed his shoulder.

"You're biased," Chris mumbled more as he busied himself getting dressed.

"Well, yah, but you are," Larissa insisted. "It's kind of a turn on. If I weren't still irritated you're getting ready to leave, I would probably jump you."

Chris couldn't help but laugh. "Seriously?"

"Seriously what? To which part?"

"You think me singing is sexy?" he paused to look at her.

"Very much so. It's sexy and romantic at the same time. It's kind of confusing me," they both laughed.

"You're really not teasing?" Chris asked as he finished getting dressed.

"Oh my God," Larissa drew out. "No! Stop being so self-conscious. Now is not the time for that, anyway," she held him at arm's length and surveyed him from top to bottom.

"You look sharp," she nodded her head once.

"Sharp?" Chris laughed. "The 90's called and they want their catchphrase back," he teased as he received a poking assault from Larissa.

"Thank you," he said, heartfelt. Chris paused a beat, staring at her intently. He was secretly willing her not to be mad at him.

"I better go." There was so much more he wanted to say, but didn't, for whatever reason.

"Yah," Larissa said quietly. "Good luck," she kissed him on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you too," Chris squeezed her hands and left their bedroom solemnly.

Chris' palms felt clammy as he entered his living room that Sunday. Larissa was already up, for a while, from the looks of it, watching a cheesy Lifetime movie.

"Hi," she greeted.

"Hi," Chris sat down next to her on the couch. "Listen, I need to tell you something before we go to my parents'," he sat facing her.

"Oh...Is everything ok?" she turned the tv off and angled her body towards him as well.

"Yes, yes, everything's fine," he wrung his hands nervously. Chris knew Larissa wouldn't be thrilled about the news, but he worried about how she would react.

"What is it?" she took one of his hands in hers and rubbed it, trying to settle his nerves. It was something they did for each other without realizing it, most of the time, to try and calm the other.

"Larissa, I got that part in the J.J. Abrams movie," Chris forced himself to look her in the eye. She immediately withdrew her hands from his, covering her mouth, trying to hide her face.

"That's great," she nodded her head too vigorously. She tried to feign excitement, but the crack in her voice gave her away and it was clearly not happy tears she fought in her eyes.

"Larissa," Chris reached out for her, but she leaned away from, shaking her head.

"When do you leave?" she choked.

"Larissa..."

"When do you leave?" anger clouded her voice.

"Next Sunday," he answered quietly.

Hard sobs racked Larissa's body as she balled herself up, completely hiding her face from Chris. He leaned forward, trying to put his arms around her. She pushed him away. Chris' mind reeled, trying to think how to handle the situation. He went to hold her again and wouldn't let go, even when she beat her fist against his chest.

"Please, Larissa. Just hear what I have to say," he held her tight as she tried to thrash away from him. Pools of hot liquid threatened his own eyes. A fist pounded half-heartedly against his chest again before Larissa finally gave in and collapsed, sobbing, into him.

Chris let her cry as he stroked her hair.

"Listen," he spoke in his commanding, but gentle tone, next to her ear. "I'm not going to be gone long. Two weeks, a month at the most." Larissa's crying slowed after a minute, but she still wouldn't look up at him.

"We have to shoot a few scenes in Utah. Everything else is going to be done on sets here in town. I'm sure the hours will suck, but I'll be home every night," he offered. "Plus, I'm getting a big chunk of money for this one. We'll be able to do whatever we want for the wedding. And go wherever we want for our honeymoon." Larissa finally looked up at him.

"I'm surprised you even remembered we're supposed to be planning a wedding," she replied bitterly. Chris felt as if someone had stabbed him in the chest. His face grew hot with anger.

"That's not fair," he fought to control his emotions. "Remember what we talked about the other day? About how we both knew what we were getting into? You're the one who said it," he threw back at her.

"Chris, we have six months until our wedding and we haven't gotten a damn thing figured out."

"What is this really about?" Chris finally asked. He agreed they really needed to start getting things in order for May, but he felt like Larissa was beating around the bush, not addressing what was really causing her to react to him leaving in such a way.

Larissa sighed. "I don't even know. Everything and nothing. Part of it is the wedding." Chris nodded his head in agreement. "I just...I didn't expect you to be gone so much so soon. If I hadn't lost...If I hadn't lost the baby, I don't think it would be bothering me so much. It's just such shitty timing."

"It's been almost three months," Chris had no idea why he had said it, but he regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth. Larissa gaped at him before jumping up from the couch. She stormed toward their bedroom, turning on her heel before reaching the door.

"I know you don't get it, but you don't have to be a fucking asshole about it either!" she yelled at him. "You can tell your parents I'm sick. I'm not coming," she slammed the door behind her.

Chris stood there, staring at the bedroom door, dumbfounded. It was one of the few times he was completely devoid of any words. He knew he had fucked up royally and had no idea where to even begin to try and fix it. Resigning himself to the couch, he rubbed his face before pulling his phone out.

"Hey, mom. Larissa's not feeling well, so it's just going to be me today."

"That was great, mom. Thank you," Chris thanked his mother for dinner. It was an unusually quiet Sunday afternoon. Not only was Larissa missing, but his sister was gone on a business trip as well.

Gwynne started clearing the dishes from the table.

"Let me help you with those," Chris offered as he jumped up to help. His mom paused without looking at him, but didn't say anything.He hardly ever offered to help with clean up. For starters, he hated doing dishes. Second, he usually used that time to catch up with his dad or talk things through if he needed advice on something...Which was kind or ironic considering other people paid his mom to tell her their problems.

Chris and Gwynne spent several minutes in silence once in the kitchen, dancing around each other to clean dishes off and put them in the dishwasher.

"Mom, I lied," Chris broke the silence. "Larissa isn't really sick."

"Oh?" Gwynne stopped and looked at her son. "Is everything ok?"

Chris rubbed his face and felt tired. Fighting, arguing, whatever you wanted to call it always made him feel physically tired.

"Not really," he sat down at one of the bar stools at the island."Larissa and I had a fight. Well, it wasn't really a fight so much as I said something stupid and she yelled at me."

"Oh, Chris," she looked at him with both pity and disappointment."What happened?"

"Promise you won't think less of me? I regretted it as soon as I said it. Hell, I'm not even sure why I said it."