All Comments on 'Merry Christmas, Evelyn'

I think I'd be in the fetal position all of Christmas Day. I note this is your first submission to Literotica. For a first effort it is great. Hell! For a tenth submission it's great. You have a rare ability to set a mood in a story that's rare. I hope you continue on with your writing. Thank You. Ronnie W.

There is a lot of emotion in this too short story. It is so well written that I found myself disappointed when it ended.

It was a good read....does anyone say "palooka" anymore?

Keep up the submissions...it's fun to find a story like yours...the diamond in the rough as it were.

in a new light. LOL I appreciated your story, but was disappointed because it was a bit short. Do you plan to write more stories? It reminded me of Micky Spillane with sex in it.

Good luck.

Black Tulip

a good story. thank you.

Not much eroticsm here...

I saw the boring comment by another reader and had to look. I thought it was great as it felt like film noir; my favorite. Good luck!

Cookie :)

Would it be that all stories could be as boring as this one! Novel plot, expertly realized. Maybe the sex happened a little fast (the second sex scene, not the voyerism), but otherwise, flowed well. Good luck in the contest!

Well done. You employ the genre with mastery. I'd love to see more Ray Broderick stories; guess I am a sucker for a good (erotic) tale about a jaded PI! Very Nice...

The story isn't perfect (his dialogue sounds 1950's but he uses a video camera) but it was damn good. I hope you do more of these. Good luck in the contest.

Rumple

I'm a total sucker for a hard-boiled dick, and Ray Broderick is just that. So good to see him getting some on Christmas eve.

The sex was hot and original and the writing was slick and very well done. Very nice job overall.

One small point--she kind of gives up her moral authority over her husband's cheating when she drops and spreads for Ray, doesn't she? Or was it just grief-sex? In any case, it was a fun and hot read.