All Comments on 'Merry Christmas Little Worm'

when mother tells of how her brother took care of her when she was young i was hoping that would have played a bigger part but perhaps next chapter

I loved the story. I see hints of the mom and dad actually being brother and sister, with them having already seen the attraction being the siblings. I'm hoping for a continuation of the "little worm"

Somehow I do not think they will have to tell the parents with the tickling, falling off the bed and her crying out during her orgasm. Will the parents become part of the play, it seems to be pointed that way.

No matter what this was a good story and appreciated.

Thank you, Rawmaster50

with a good chance to win. You get my vote. I liked the way the story unfolded and led us through their first time. i also think mom and dad may know how they feel. Maybe they are related as well. Would like to see a continuation with a happy ending.

Sorry, do you know the odds of falling off a bed and accidentally ramming your cock into a virgin pussy almost all the way? And then, you tell me that was part of the real story! Ha! I don't think so. Don't worry, I still gave you a 5 for the rest of the story. I happen to really love true love stories between brothers and sisters.

Liked it regardless of how they coupled !

please continue this story....thanks

nice story. the fantasy of it would be better without actual info at the end. thanks for sharing.

Sorry, but the accidental intromission took a star off my rating. A very nice tale without that. Falling off the bed could have led to awareness of mutual arousal, with kissing, fumbling and a deliberate, cooperative coupling. Far more believable.

Know what...? It's only natural to realize one cannot please everyone "all" of the time as everyone has their own prerogatives, their own desires and their own fantasies. As claimed beforehand, this is truly a love story and whether it is incestuous or not, the writer achieved his / her intent. Does the credibility of a couple falling on the floor and finding themselves enjoined really matter...?

Not everyone can so vividly express those deep down feelings about their "first time" in such a manner as to capture a readers' imagination to the point that incest is entirely out of mind and this author has done just that.

As for mom and pop finding out...yes, a sequel is a definite need, but do keep in mind that mom, and possibly dad, had something in mind for the children ahead of time. If they didn't, they certainly would know after hearing the noise their children were making.

I would visualize a sequel of the children discovering their mother to actually be their aunt as well...!!!

Congratulations for a love story well written, Badman.

Me...

I really enjoyed your story, and the great description of your "little sister!"

That was a nice well written story. Thanks

I enjoyed the read, but. with all the squealing and moaning and what not, how come the parents didn't hear, or if they heard didn't break it up...?

For what the story was I loved it but felt that it progressed to quickly. I'm of the mindset that falling off the bed and being halfway inside her was very imporable not impossible though. In any case I doubt such an act that it would have happened without a bit more resistance or screaming on her part. There a bit of a hint that the parents may be more understanding than most but please god if you continue the story don't make mom and dad related it just cheapens the story imo also please keep in strictly between brother and sister.

On a side note I want to say that I'm really getting tired of the "virgin's first time" type of stories while I can see why so many authors choose to go that route Its just so overdone and unless you have something to add to it, it comes off as boring. What to me that makes a better story is a loving brother and sister who find each other later in life. Fighting their own feeling, hiding the feeling from the other, and trying to maintain a normal relationship with each other and significant others. IMO there is so more that can be done in those types of stories as opposed to "the virgin's first time".

i dont care that the way he first penetrated her was improbable as other commenters suggest. i thought it was a sweet brother/sister story.

GOOD JOB BBM

I, too, found the falling off the bed causing penetration implausible. I think if that happened I would realize it right away and not need my sister to point it out to me. That aside, I found this story charming and the "little worm" moniker very good. A younger sister might very well call it that. One last thing - I found some descriptive passages somewhat repetitive, for example, using "velvet glove" twice in one paragraph. But...I liked your story - a lot. Thanks for the effort.

First off, I liked the story idea, while I agree with the other comments that the falling off the bed thing leading to penetration is REALLY far fetched, but I could probably get passed that. My big issue is that you clearly didn't proof read this or have someone else proof it, because there are a ton of typo's and grammatical errors. I highly suggest finding an editor or a proof reader in the future. The quality of your stories will be greatly improved by doing something that simple.

This could have been a five star story for me, if not for the gammatical errors, the missing words, and wrong words (started instead of stared; load instead of loud -- to cite as examples). When I have to slow down, and mentally make corrections, this ruins the flow and enjoyment of a story. I have to agree with fefe428, if you continue this story, please get an editor, or a proofreader.

I wish I was the sister

I have to agree with the others. Get at least one person to edit/proofread for you. (I had two people proofread my own stories and yet, between the three of us a few errors still slipped through.) The errors in your story have nothing to do with it being the Queen's English vs. American English. They are errors in English, period. (Just one example: "you are" still contracts as "you're" not "your" in either style of English.)

While the manner of the initial penetration is based upon your own, real life experience, it seems too farfetched to be believable. As author, Tom Clancy, said, "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

Another thing that didn't work for me is that Pete takes the tumble in his room, when his pants were around his ankles, then later, Pete and Wendy hit the floor together and soon after have loud, unrestrained sex, and yet neither parent comes to check out what all the noise is about? That doesn't sound like any parents I've ever known.

And lastly, Pete and Wendy "accidentally" get together for the first time, pause to think about it before they continue, and yet, nary a single thought is given towards birth control?

While I found the story to be enjoyable, it seems derivative of so many other bro/sis incest stories that I've read before. The basic, oft-repeated plot-points are (the order, and/or number of them used, may vary slightly): *tease, tease*; "I hate you"; "I'm sorry."; *snuggle, snuggle*; *confess failed outside relationship(s)*; *tears*; "...but, you are special to me."; "I've just noticed he/she is sexy now, and I know I shouldn't be looking, but..."; "This feels so good.; "I've missed this."; "I've loved you for years!"; "Do you feel the same about me?"; *kiss*; "Should we have sex?"; "Yes, fuck me bro/sis."; "I'm IN love with you and it's forever!"; The End.

While this story-line has proved to be successful here and elsewhere (I gave this story 4 stars), I found no new, or unique, territory was covered in this story to truly set it apart from the rest. The characterizations and backstories outside of the basic plot-line need to be fleshed out.

but I have my doubts this is even UK English

My little sister was little no longer little and I reddened even more.

Not even going to carry on reading this,, obviously it was never proof read

Will give it an ace for the attempt

piss poor writing and a totally unrealistic plot that would never happen in a million years. no guy would ever have anything to do with a teasing bitch of a sister like her, sex between them would never happen maybe in ten to twenty years but not then. keep it out of the twilight zone and use a good editor then it might be worth reading.

I don't get all the complaints, who cares how they first came together, you're missing the point you complainers !!! This story is a beginning to an Epic Love Story. It is a soft, sensual, erotic, emotional and highly romantic love story. I hope there is more chapters to come. I think the parents already knew the kids loved each other, they just gave them the needed push hence the underwear and bra and panties for each at the recommendation of Mom. I think the next chapter starts either with the parents in Wendy's doorway watching the kids sleep entwined in each other with smiles on their faces, or Wendy and Pete walking hand in hand to the breakfast table to the smiles of mom and dad. They say you guys know don't you, the parents respond of course we know you are in love with each other, you kids just needed a nudge in the right direction, to laughs all around. Many I really love this story, as a total romantic at heart this story is top 10 for me. Loved it. Thank you for this story

Great story now you need to continue the story. I can't think of another story I would love to read. Gave you 5 stars.

adamsjr52@yahoo.com

UK OR AMERICAN ENGLISH THESE ARE MISTAKES AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED THROUGH COMPETENT PROOFREADING AND EDITING. THIS STORY IS NOT THE WORST ONE I'VE SEEN, BUT WAS THAT THE AUTHOR'S GOAL, A STORY THAT WAS BETTER THAN A FEW OTHERS???? IF SO, YOU WIN!!!!

1. told too (to)

2. crowing their glory (crowning)

3. up stairs (upstairs)

4. hells name (hell’s)

5. lent up (leant)

6. on to (onto)

7. across (her) face

8. sleepy head (sleepyhead)

9. mums (mum’s)

10. caught site (sight)

11. followed like (-and like)

12. kaleidoscope of butterflies (????ODD EXPRESSION!!!!)

13. lace heroically trying (????ODD EXPRESSION!!!!)

14. plumptiously (THIS WORD???? IS NOT ON THE INTERNET)

15. There was (-my) the bottom end of (my) cock (THE BOTTOM END OF A COCK IS LOCATED INTERNALLY) (TIP)

16. sisters (sister’s)

17. felt a heal slam (heel)

18. misty eyed (misty-eyed)

19. it's irrevocable march (its)

20. cuming (cumming)

21. for ever (forever)

22. in to mine (into)

23. tremoring (trembling) (TREMOR IS A VERB, NOT A NOUN)

24. vice like (vice-like)

25. never ending (never-ending)

26. want's (wants)

27. trying(to) think

28. others (other’s)

29. delighting (in) the feel

30. My (-little) sister was (-little) no longer little (ONE ?, WAS SHE LITTLE????)

Why do the anonymous people write so many negative and derogatory statements? If you don’t like it, stop reading and find another story to read. Make’s more sense to me. I enjoyed this story. Do another chapter if you’re still writing Badman.❤️❤️❤️❤️