Merry Fucking Christmas

Just a whimsical flash story done LW style.

As it was every year, "the night" was again long, cold, grueling and... yes, amazing. He was tired, as was his team.

He checked his watch. Damn, he was about two hours earlier than usual. The weather was good, and for most of the journey he had a tailwind.

As he circled for landing, he spotted another sleigh in his spot in the driveway.

Although he didn't recognize whose vehicle it was, he knew what that meant.

"Fucking whore!" he muttered under his breath.

After watering and bedding down the team, he quietly entered the house. An album of Christmas carols by Nat King Cole was on the turntable.

"God, that guy could croon," the big man thought to himself as he silently ascended the stairs toward the hushed sounds coming out of the master bedroom.

"Are you close? We've only got a little more than an hour 'til he gets back," he heard his wife, Carole, say to her lover.

"A... few... more... minutes," the lover responded. "God, I love fucking your ass!"

The big man froze in his tracks. His wife had never let him have her ass - never.

"Son of a bitch!" he muttered again.

The bedroom door was slightly ajar. Just as the big man was about to burst in, he heard his wife's lover growl, "Aaahhh! Oh fucking yeah! Aarrgghh!"

The big man shoved the door in just in time to see his wife's lover finish in her ass. He let out his own roar as he rushed into the room.

"You fucking bitch!" he screamed as he ran to the bed, coming up to the pair from behind.

The big man dove into the lover feet first, his big black boots flying into the other man's back.

"Ooowww!" shrieked the lover, a much smaller man, as contact was made.

The husband had made contact with the lover just as the lover was pulled back outside the woman's ass. The resulting collision forced the smaller man's erection directly into her left glute muscle, causing the erection to bend almost in two. The searing pain was so intense the smaller man passed out, first falling against the woman before rolling off and falling unconscious onto the floor.

Having a hard erection speared against her violently was only a little less painful for the woman, who screamed out her own pain as she turned to face the attacker. If the intense pain wasn't enough, the sight of her husband's maniacal face certainly made her fear for her life.

"As much as you deserve it, you know I'd never hit you, you stupid bitch! But you need to pack a bag and get the fuck out of here. And take little broke dick over there with you, when he wakes up. Of course, he might not be of any use to you after tonight. I won't apologize for that, Carole."

The big man looked at the unconscious man on the floor. He recognized the small man as Chaim Rothberg, his head elf up until a few minutes ago.

Carole shifted uncomfortably on the bed, grimacing as she did so. Despite the grimace, Santa Claus had to admit his wife was still a beautiful woman, with robust tits, big hips, slender waist, alabaster skin and light blue eyes. Her white hair had been held up by clips earlier, but with most of those clips now lying on the bed, half of her hair was now disheveled and hanging down alongside her beautiful Nordic face.

"It-it was only sex, Santa. It didn't mean anything. I don't want to leave," she pleaded.

"Wa-wa-wa, Carole. That's all bullshit and you know it.

"Why, Carole, and for how long? Didn't our vows mean anything to you?"

She flinched and squirmed.

"It was just something and someone different. There was no love. You always get so busy right before Christmas, working long hours. It was easy. We've been getting together for the last several months," she said.

"Well now you've made it even easier. I give you to him!"

The big man walked over to the unconscious one. He planted the heel of his boot over the prone man's genitals and stomped. He heard the sound of crushed testicles. The unconscious man never moved.

Despite her best efforts, Carole was unable to convince Santa not to file for divorce. She hired an arrogant American attorney to represent her and he tried to get a 50-50 property split, claiming four of the eight reindeer that pull Santa's sleigh. The lawyer was very surprised to learn that Santa's reindeer were actually considered independent contractors and not his possessions, and were thus not subject to the divorce settlement. Additionally, what Carole believed to be his toy factory and his abode at the North Pole were actually the possessions of an entity named Jolly Old Elf Inc. Santa himself was listed as an employee of the company, with an annual salary of just $1 per year.

With no alimony, Carole had to find the first real job she needed in many years, but there were few employers who wanted the headache of hiring the now infamous Mrs. Claus. Press coverage of the divorce was wall-to-wall. Also, in reality, she had no marketable job skills. Eventually she was hired to work at a fast-food drive-through.

Rothberg was incensed when the North Pole police refused to charge Santa Claus with assault for the fracas at the Claus' home, citing the infidelity and "sudden heat." He would never have intercourse with a woman again.

For better or worse, America is the land of opportunity, and a year after the Clauses were divorced, Rothberg had an opportunity for his former lover in the United States. Carole would go on tour with a group of midget wrestlers in an act called "Mrs. Claus and Her Eight Tiny Dears." The act hit strip joints throughout the U.S. and featured Carole wearing a bikini wrestling several midgets in a pool of Jell-O. Needless to say, the audience for this type of act was small but very enthusiastic. It was not uncommon for Mrs. Claus to be stripped out of her bikini during the events, and she still had a body that made it worthwhile for the audience.

Travelling with a crew of eight midgets also meant that it was worthwhile for Carole, as she didn't have to seek outside male companionship. She wasn't above joking that since they were small, she was able to "take two."

Santa Claus didn't lack for sexual partners either, once it was known he was on the market. Women of all ages practically threw themselves at him anywhere he went, and the consensus among his dates was that Santa always delivered the presents.

He was often seen in the presence of singers Megan Thee Stallion and Lady Gaga. He was always merry.