Messy Ch. 18

"Ok..."

"The department has mandated that I get some unarmed combat training and another cop told me he'd seen you at Nina's old class. Your lifestyle intrigued me. Turned me on. I had access, decided to...get a little closer."

"So you pretended you had no idea who I was, and wormed into my life."

Deirdre chuckled mirthlessly. "Fucking a suspect isn't exactly an approved investigative technique. But we had fun, we both got what we wanted. Right?"

I started pulling on my pants. "I don't want someone lying to me to get off, so no I didn't."

"Gary, wait."

"You searched my house, had intimate knowledge of the most private parts of my life, you bastards ruined my life for no good reason, and then you pretend to be my friend to do more snooping? Fuck you, Deirdre. You have no idea how violated I feel."

"It's not that..."

I vaulted onto the bed to crouch in front of her, interrupting her before I could hear the word "bad" and I got so damn angry I wanted to choke her. She looked scared at my sudden movement, crawled backward to the headboard.

"Yeah, it is that bad. I lost my job. I work part-time in a fucking bank now. My best friend is a hollow shell of a person. And you dickheads accused me and mine of torturing people we cared about! YEAH, IT'S THAT FUCKING BAD!"

I realized I was yelling, lowered my voice to a more menacing quiet. "And then you crawl into my life to do research, fuck me under false pretenses, manipulate me." I featured around the room. "Was this real?"

"They weren't false pretenses," Deirdre said sadly. "I had fun, I'm attracted to you, I wouldn't have slept with you if I didn't at least LIKE you..."

"Not enough to tell me the truth." I shrugged in my shirt, went looking for my duffel. "One last question and then I'm out. You said you know I didn't kill my friends. How do you know? Is the investigation over? Have I been cleared? Can I leave the state?"

Deirdre blushed. "I know it personally. You wouldn't do that. You're not violent...like that. There's hardly any evidence beyond sex-related DNA in your house, your relationships to the deceased, your lifestyle, and the fact that you own guns in the same caliber as the AK used at the crime scene."

I sneered. "I own a three oh eight for hunting. AK uses the same width bullet, different case. There are multiple seven six two rounds. Your firearms expert is a fucktard."

"Oh." She seemed embarrassed.

"So basically my life was trashed because while I was gone on vacation for a month, my friends were horribly murdered and the police department thinks that us perverts just kill each other for fun and doesn't know shit all about ballistics."

"Umm..."

I grabbed my burrito. "Find someone else to snow into having sex with you. Bitch."

I slammed the door and it felt GOOD.

Sienna and Tori were watching a movie when I got home, and I dropped my duffel on the desk, slumped on the couch next to them.

"Didn't you have a vacation this weekend?" See asked.

I tore into my burrito. "No comment."

"You ok?"

I sighed. "I will be. Had a bad morning."

"Can we do anything for you?"

I smiled, shook my head. "Just give me space."

After I got sick of nineties medieval dramas, I wandered upstairs. I couldn't be around people right now, I was too pissed off. I wanted to call Jessie, but I didn't want to use her as a dumping ground for my emotional wreckage.

Even though I knew she'd want me to, she'd TELL me to. She wanted to be there for me no matter what, and I wanted to protect her from myself.

Maybe I was falling in love with her after all. Hell, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Absence. There'd probably be a lot of absence for a long time going forward. Couldn't leave the FUCKING STATE.

I slammed my fist into my bedroom wall and my knuckles blazed as my hand sank into drywall and insulation up to my wrist.

DAMMIT!