All Comments on 'Michael and Elizabeth'

way too early in the story to stop and ask others to finish it.

Was the other man the visiting President of Liberia.

The problem with continuing this is that though we know some things about Michael and Elizabeth, we don't know them. Until we do, we can't imagine what they will do going forward. For a legitimate continuation, an author needs more than you have left here.

Nice start. It would be interesting to see your own continuation. . . I think you left it off a bit early, at least for my tastes.

Do not care for the way you left it at all. If you can’t finished what you start, then don’t!

Not enough information.

Mostly it flows well. I gave it a four for that. But why are we to care? Nothing is explained. There is some seeming sense of ennui, These people act, and Michael did not act, at least not within the four corners of the page at the scene we were given.

Really! If he is a one and done man divorce her and get rid of her. She the children via an intermediary if she allows it. If not, sorry its on her. Plus kick her out of where you are meeting or walk out, she is only trying to scale your defences. She may still be good looking on the inside but I would poke nothing into any of her orifices. Plus she will only do it again. Run and don't look back, except for your children if you can.

Divorce the bitch.

Really? It has to be a "black man"? Is that intended to show the degradation of the slut wife, or does it reflect your racial insecurities?

Leaving yourself open to anonymous commentators? Is your real name "Chagrined"? Do you think someone named a child "DetroitBigDick"? Don't be a fucking idiot. You are anonymous, as am I. I could have a dozen "handles" if I wanted just by using Tor, and it wouldn't surprise me if some with handles have more than one. The "anon" comments are as good or better than those with handles. Perhaps it's because we are smart enough not to want to be databased.

Don't usually like the door stories (beauty/beast) but you started a pretty good one.

Hopefully finished by someone the way I hope

Nothing here worth reading, REALLY!

o star -

It is a good thing you make very few visits to this website - maybe you should not bother coming back.

Not a fan of fishing for others to finish the story. Makes sense on a collaborative writing site. Here, not so much.

You said you would publish an ending - when?

This had the makings of a very good story but as a reader I want a story to have 3 things. A beginning a middle and an end. So when a story is not finished it is really frustrating so if you are still writing please do as you promised.

Just shit. Didn't leave enough information about anything.

Too bad you left this.

The author left the ending open for another to finish however, there isn't enough of a backstory of the cheating to know which way to end it. The author hasn't published in years.

0 stars for leaving it unfinished

nice build but I hate build and drop stories.

You didn't say what he did to the guy nailing his wife, you didn't say why she cheated, you know, all the standard B/S- " It's not what it seems, you don't understand, let me explain , I was doing it for us, I needed to find myself " should I go on ??? The Bear DOES NOT APPROVE. Some day I'm going to try leaving a comment WITHOUT leaving any stars. This sucks.

The BEAR

I read these stories to be entertain...the best thing I can say here is...I just wasted my time here....and this story shouldn't even be here..........

It's not the "no ending" that I mind, it's the no beginning. Why was she cheating? Did he actually disappear without even a kiss good-bye to his kids? What happened with the Liberian President?

You didn’t give us enough. Hardly any story, a repellent father who neglects his kids, a tepid sex scene, an unlikable wife. Why would anyone want this bore fest to continue?

Give us a little more before you arrogantly demand someone finish, something better.

And that sequel was a tragedy of the English language. Made this part seem like a Pulitzer winner.

Author's attitude invites and deserves the 1* bombs.

What an arrogant asshole.

Story is so short on character development and plot, why would anyone be interested?

Characters, such as they are, are two-dimensional cutouts.

I am MORE INTERESTED in the black guy fucking the wife than in anyone else. Seems like he got what he paid for...

you'd write some more about if asked to do it. Okay I'm asking you to write it. We've missed you.

but all the bleeding hearts would hate it.

begs for endings

I hate stories with NO ENDING!!!! Can you at least let us know who may have an adequate ending??

Rob is right,stories should not be published without an ending.

If you’re not going to finish a story. Don’t bother to write. Could have been a decent story

Didn't seem to be enjoying Fuck when caught

But this was too compelling. I find I really do want an ending to the story.

Also, I don't always care about the why, but this is one of those times I find myself wondering.

https://www.literotica.com/s/michael-and-elizabeth-an-ending

The cliche' of, "I still loved X, dammit".

I'v been cheated on. It's true, you don't STOP loving them, and that hurts ... BUT... you do love them LESS. You love them a lot less. I'm not talking mature me getting over a recent love. I'm talking THE BIG EX. That love that is ridiculous on every conceivable level. I was once in THAT sort of love trance. And when that person cheated on me, and I caught them, aside from the white hot rage, I did cool down and I found myself loving them less.

I just really hate the cliche'. It's not true. It's partially true AT MOST. You can still love someone, but you'll love them less when they betray you. It's how humans are wired. It's not about 'pride', 'ego', or even lost trust. No, wounded animals avoid the thing that wounded them. That is what cheating is, an act of emotional violence. I ate less, my chest hurt for months, and I was generally in a poorer physical state all over. And when I got healthy again, that same cheater stalking me brought back a lot of the same issues. It's like an abuser showing back up at your doorstep. It hurts on every possible level. They've become in all manner of speaking...toxic. And it...NEVER...fully goes away. It can lessen. That's the best you can hope for.

I treated my big ex like a person non-gratta that was a potential threat. I stopped belittling them, or talking to them like an old friend. They weren't. When I started being indifferent with a drop of caution, my health went WAY back up. I started dating A LOT more. Life got magnitudes better, because I wasn't ever thinking of my abuser as a friend. Cheating isn't a mistake, it's a choice. And the MORE you cheat, the MORE the abuse.

If what the previous commenter said is true that story has been taken, which is probably good cause it sounds horrible.

I think the problem with this story is that it is too open. Yeah, the characters being relatively blank slates means you can take the story in any direction you want, but it also makes it just as much work to write as if you created your own unique story.

The premise the author set up is also not that interesting. "Husband finds wife in bed with another man". It's a premise that's been done thousands of times before. Of course, this wouldn't be bad if you had interesting characters but again, they are pretty much blank slates. All we know is they have 3 kids, husband works as diplomatic security, and he probably saved a diplomat's life with no care for his own. Again, such a premise has been done before with firefighter/cop/soldier husbands. There's nothing in this story that would entice a potential author to finish it.

TLDR: Story is so generic and underdevoped that it's not worth an author's time to finish it.

I don't remember who. The husband volunteered for service overseas where he was beheaded on national tv and his wife saw it. Really shitty ending.

Not much to on here. Who was the fat black guy, and why was he there?

If any other writers here took up the challenge to create a real ending for this story I can’t find any evidence of it. Maybe they decided the story wasn’t worth the effort. I don’t know that I could argue that.

To friggin lazy to finish this story?

In his 03/21/15 comment to Chagrined's story, "Michael and Elizabeth", scd97230 gave a précis of the duties of a Special Agent in the Diplomatic Security Service. My son is one such Agent. A little more detail in case someone wants to finish the story.

A little more about DS and its Special Agents. (Federal government nomenclature: a "special agent" is someone the U.S. government issues firearms to, and expects them to carry the weapons and use the weapons (if needed) in the course of their duties. Depending on the Federal agency, the have varying degrees of arrest authority.) They are expected to use deadly force when necessary.

DS agents guard the Secretary of State, the U.S. Ambassador to the UN, other high-level State Department officials here and overseas, including our Ambassadors and other ranking officials at our U.S. Embassies and Consulates overseas. U.S. Marines guard the Embassy, but they are fixed perimeter and zone defense. When the U.S. officials leave the Embassy (e.g., meeting with the other country's officials), the DS Agents travel to protect the U.S. officials in those other countries.

The DS Agents' career track has them start out with a duty assignment in the states for two or three years. Since the State Department issues U.S. passports and grants visas to foreigners, the DS agents investigate passport/visa fraud. (Not the illegal aliens trying to get into the country; but the big guys who make and distribute phony paper. Which my son did for three years in NYC.) Then the DS Agent gets assigned for 2 or 3 years to one of our Embassies overseas. Typically, the initial assignments are to some lousy assignments in some 3rd world country, like Hyderabad, India; or Beirut, Lebanon. Many of these lousy places are unaccompanied tours; meaning the spouse and children may not go with the DS Agent to the shit-hole. As they work their way up, periodically they will come back to D.C. or some other stateside assignment.

They also protect diplomats and other persons from foreign countries viditing the US (such as the Dalai Lama). At the annual General Assembly of the U.N., DS agents are there protecting the foreigners (and trying to keep the Cubans from flooding the country with cigars in exchange for money, high-buck booze, and hookers).

As they progress in their careers, they typically get better assignments (hopefully) to places like Paris, London, Berlin, Brussels, etc. Those assignments are typically 3 years, and spouses and children can accompany them.

Or they can go into management, serving as Regional Security Officer for an area, and on up the chain in D.C.

DS Agents also protect some foreign heads of state in their home countries (Afghanistan, Haiti, and Liberia.) I don't know for sure, but I would expect an assignment to protect one of these heads of state would be an unaccompanied tour of duty. (Also, if he had been assigned to Liberia in the past, it might explain something of whatever happened recently in the story with the Liberian president's visit. Perhaps there was some animosity between the two from when Michael (might have been) assigned there.)

One of the commenters stated he thought she worked for the UN. I find that unlikely. First, nothing in the story stated where she worked or if she worked. It would be too much of a security risk with her working for what is in essence a foreign government and his job. The story stated Michael asked for the assignment to the UN after his time in Paris. So he's fairly high up the chain of progression in DS. Michael and Elizabeth were probably in Paris for three years. His wife needed the fancy dress for some Embassy function. Since his mission is security and protection, DS Agents would normally try to blend into the walls. His wife would probably not be there merely as his wife, she must have had some job with the embassy which would be her reason for attending the event and needing a fancy dress.

If the two had a joint assignment in Paris, it is quite possible her next assignment would be to whatever part of the State Department she was with, probably in DC, which would explain the geographic distance between the two of the them, and the comments concerning the children indicating they are in American schools (seventh and fifth grades).

Her also working for some part of the State Department would explain why she was familiar with his supervisor, Harry Burns, the RSO for the State Department contingent at the UN. Over thirteen years of their marriage, she probably met Harry frequently.

Glad you dont write anymore. A waste of time.

Would like links to other writers who wrote the rest of the story

Why was she fucking a fat fucker in her marriage bed?

Not nearly enough for even a start.

How about 0 stars for the ending!

Just another lazy idiot that can't finnish his own story.

Write more than a story fragment.

I have enjoyed some of your other stories but I am a reader, not a writer, I can not finish this story. I do not enjoy being left hanging.

I presume you warned us with the "open invitation" in the description. I will look for it and skip those stories.

Did I mention, I did like the start as a "page 1"

More like an opening paragraph. Complete nonsense. You failed to entertain.

finish it your fucking self.

read the rest of my stories, they may or may not have an ending but why should i care if you waste your time reading them only to dicover theres no ending.

Why would any writer leave a story to other to finish???? That is just lazy, this is baseball, no relief writer in the bullpen....... 2**** for what could have been a good story....

You give an aspiring finisher nothing with which to work: we don't know your characters. We know Elizabeth is sorry (for something), and Michael loves her. That's it. Might as well start from scratch.

you fucking writers who do this are chicken shit worthless monkey spunk bet your ass i will ignor your stupid untalented bs in the future

Already finished... no life left in either carcass

Your invitation to continue this should get my lazy ass to try a stab at writing. Man, the BTB crowd is tough. You explained this was a tease and still you get bombed.

Gawd I hope no one bothers with this pathetic excerpt and lets it die.

That is a dick move. Just write a few paragraphs of trite overworked shite and then "challenge" others to finish it.

If you can't finish the fucking thing, don't start it.

Not even a good beginning...

“You wanted to divorce me, Michael, not your children. They should not have to pay for my mistake." – Fine, then give him custody!

- The husband walks into his bedroom and sees the love of his life being fucked by a BIG,out-of-shape black man. The END,of the marriage and the story!

Obviously the critic that thought it was shitty to leave the kids has not been through this scenario. Although I & my wife have reunited (and the kids turned out OK), at the time I could not emotionally bear to be around anything (including my kids) the reminded me of my wife's betrayal. It took 6-8 months of separation (and several one night stands) to begin to heal the pain.

That said.. looking forward to other authors response. 3-4 stars.

There are two things in affairs that I consider unforgivable, at least one of which happens here:

1) Doing things with lover that aren't done with the spouse.

2) Cheating in the marriage bed.

I now know why I didn't read this when it first came out. Now I'll read the sequel.

I wonder why authors like you start whining about adverse comments before you have received them. Perhaps, it is because you know how stupid is your plot and how totally bereft of any relationship to human beings are your characters. I think of you as a reconciliation whore. Regardless of how egregious the adultery, how violent the reaction by cheated on spouse, the end will have a reconciliation because you want one rather that what your characters would do. So 1* with a great deal of satisfaction

Another so called writer that could finish a story if their life depended on it. Always an excuse why they couldn't or didn't finish what they started.

You have an interesting start but you need to add more substance. Then you can provide an ending that you are happy with.

Your other stories were complete. Do you believe anyone else can adequately finish this story?

This is one of those times

This is a piss poor 'story', basically gives nothing for another 'writer' to work with, also says he'll finish it if no one else will. There wasn't even a START, this was barely a MIDDLE, so maybe when this so called writer pulls his head out of his ass and STARTS & FINISHES the damn story we might give a damn, cause FTDS has gone AWOL and won't finish his own stories there's no hope of this EVER being finished.

Why would you post this open ended story? You were posting on this site, then you stopped. Then in February you posted this. You may not like the operators of this site, but frankly, you've cheated the readers. It won't affect my life, but what demons infect your soul?

Wonder how many sloppy seconds and cream pies, from her lover, he ingested? A whore and a slut, once having established themselves as such, will never change. The best course of action for him to take is to do a DNA test on the kids. And to test himself for any STDS. As for the wife, she's damaged goods and should be heaved overboard. No matter how beautiful and sexy she is. She's still a disrespectful whore!

Smells worse then a sewage treatment plant

Here were two comments about white wife with black lover.

First was the next:

"any white man who takes back a wife whom fucks a black man needed to be shot."

Second was the next:

"any white man that lost his wife to a black man should be thanked, it means he save another bored house wife from a life of being married to a dickless moron that's pissed off at being pissed on......lol"

Very interesting I read very very few stories where the cheating wives have black lovers and after divorce the black lovers will be step fathers for the broken families to help to bring up the kids!

I think the black men are not stupid and they apreciate these white wives to............(not good wife material, but with simplier words!)

I have waited to see if anyone would pick up this story, I'm not seeing any takers.

I thought you said you would finish this story, will you?

why did the black mam end up in bed with lizbeth ?? i would enjoy reading the rest..

You are one of the very best authors on this site. Finnish this for your Fans.

Really?

All i can say is that you did your name honour .......

should be thanked, it means he save another bored house wife from a life of being married to a dickless moron that's pissed off at being pissed on......lol

should assume author ship of this story, which has multiple ways to progress. TK U MLJ LV NV

This was awful. Stick your head in shit!

I can see the potential, but I am not excited about grading on potential. In my world it is results that count. Although I have never actually submitted a story - and have serious reservations about whether or not I have the appropriate skill to do so - from time-to-time I have been motivated by the skill of FTDS and his contemporaries to sketch out conclusions for unfinished stories or those which are left "hanging" with an ending so vague as to provide no resolution. I find the process similar to attempting to solve a skill word game. I sense what you have presented to begin the story of "Michael and Elizabeth" almost seems carefully designed (almost to a fault) to represent a very difficult and demanding skill game if one hopes to complete a reader acceptable and sensible outcome. Although I do anticipate anyone who reads your opening will read any and all completed stories which might materialize, certainly including your own conclusion.

any white man who takes back a wife whom fucks a black man needed to be shot.

He can't live with his wife's whoring around, but if he divorces her his kids will become another effing LW cliche, children of a bitter divorce and a broken home, raised by a slut mother who they will turn against as they continue down a self destructive life path. But if he manages to die in the line of duty, their mother's sins will be buried and they'll be able to live proud as the children of a fallen hero. That's how much he's willing to sacrifice for them.

So in the he goes back home for one last visit during which he tells the kids he's on a top secret mission before he returns to the field only to return in a flag draped casket for a funeral with honors, or the slut realizes what he's planning and earns redemption by finding a way to off herself in an apparent accident so her kids can be raised by their faithful widower dad. The end.

While it is said that most people cheat down, she is described as beautiful.

So why would she be with a out of shape overweight loser?

Some job related prostitution?

Wanting others to finish this when it is an inadequate start?

Please!!!!

The DSS provides security for US diplomatic missions, US diplomats, and foreign dignitaries visiting the US. Michael is trying to get himself killed in the line of duty.

This is really nothing more than a prelude, it isn't even the beginning of a story.

well now that all the haters have had there say I would like you to write the second part because no one feels the story like the original writer does.

My 2 cents is I hope he don't take her back, but gets his kids. .either way thanks for your work

I like it do part 2

But what you gave us was a slut, a nigger and a pathic joke of a husband, no story here, just something to piss on.

To fuck some piece of shit in their home, their bed showes their was no love, no bullshit can fix that. Did she tell her children, friends, family what she does when he's not home, this was probably not the first time nor the last, is she still fucking around. No way back from this, this would be burned into his brain for life, find a new slut, this one is not worth it.

Why the fuck would anyone finish this fucking crap for you? You didn't even write a story to finish you lazy piece of shit.

Nuff said!

Very little beginning and even less of an ending. She tells him to grow up and 'come home'. Come home to what? Her; the kids; her and the kids; her, the kids and the BBC? This story lacks the all important middle. Nothing about the why of what she did. Is she just another slut for a BBC? Did he just runaway with no further communications with her? Given she's a slut, how does he know the kids are his? Why didn't he ask that question during her little 'talk', during which she says she was sorry. Sorry for what? Getting caught? Just another lazy writer that can't finish a story so he/she tries to make a game of it.

It's as though having sex with the other man was something that she had to do related to her job, and it was something the husband should have known, given her attitude at the end of the set up. Take it from there all of you authors who are more talented than I am.

If you can't be bothered to write and finish a story then don't bother posting a teaser. It's a shame as the extremely small sample that you did post was very well written.

Quite a strong start. Looking forward to reading endings.

I agree mostly with firas01 comments.

It is very hard to write reconciliation stories as there many emotional and moral issues to deal with.

So the husband is not a wimp, the wife cheated fir a reason, she knows him better than he knows him self, she has a plan to get him back, he is just dragging his feet on his future.

So is there a part 2 with more answers and a conclusion, or do we wait for FTDS to pick this up in a few years time !

Chagrined gave a very good situation:

1. A cheating wife

2. Children in distress

Whose are the best solution? Which authors accept the challenge.

Forget that Hubby's job is interesting, and that Sweetie's choice of Bull was Black & outta shape, and that Hubby is living in a scenic apartment in NY, and finally, that he has done something which concerns his boss. This is fundamentally a generic set-up which a large number of LIT authors (some experienced and accomplished, others novices and raw) - who range in orientation from 'Burn The Bitch' to 'Reconcile At All Costs' - have ALREADY tackled, covering the bases very thoroughly.

The LIT / LW heavyweights should AVOID this challenge (issued by a guy who doesn't have the writing skill to include critical words, and who doesn't know when to use a singular noun!)

2* (I generally reserve '1s' for works designed to irritate and anger!)

I would throw her ass out the window and later tell the cops that she wanted me back. When I turned her down she committed suicide. OH WELL!