All Comments on 'Michelle'

What a wonderously devious mind you have. I loved your story. Boyd

Hi -

I'm not sure what you are smoking, but would you please pass it around! Why should you be the only one to have any fun?

Great story, funny, but to the point.

Keep at it!

you were so busy building your ego and talking about you and forgot the story, itn't finish.

The analogy to a chess match was inspired. A very enjoyable read.

HDK:

What a great story. Revenge twice over for the price of one. You made my day with this tale. Thank You. Ronnie W.

But what happened. I know that he knows that she is cheating on him, but what happened after that. Did he divorce the whore.

I loved the first chapter and am greatly looking forward to what should follow.

Great Work on this chapter Author - Your talent,imagination and diligence is much appreciated. -- with High Regard

Another one from the master. Thanks HDK.

Great story, seems like you have been an advisor to other authors lately. Keep up the great stories!

This genre is sometimes very, very somber and depressing, what with all stories of wives bearing their lover's children and cuckholding their husbands. However, I can ALWAYS count on you for a good chuckle. Dionne Warwicke indeed!!

what happened???

Some way or another he has to have revenge on his boss. Get him fired someway or let his wife know about his fucking around and get him divorced and fleeced.

And he put the tape recorder under the bed.....for what? We haven't heard from it again.

HDK your imagination is outrageous, down right devious and very, very much appreciated. You ABSOLUTELY have to finish this one. PLEASE!

Gus

The Wife really got it in the end! I'd also like to see a follow up story to this. Where I live the boss could be sued for alienation of affections contributing to any divorce action as well as several different violations of the Fair Labor Practices act. Also the company could be hugely liabale as it was indicated that it was common knowlege around the office that George was a womanizer. Most companies especially large ones have a morals clause in their company handbook regarding conduct of this sort with employees and their spouses. Hubby could get majorly PAID for his trouble here and have George pay his divorce lawyers fees. I'd also let the company know he had bugged my office to further his illict activities with the wife.

Preferably in the same vein. Original & very readable - like all of your stories

Excellent story so far.

I hope it did not become your habit to leave us hanging on.

Thanks.

to leave stories hanging. Spoils a lot of potentially good stories.

Okay, so it ended - sort of.

But it is just another in the ever expanding list of stories authors are too lazy to complete.

And this guy knows better, he has done some truly great stuff, but now he's succumbed to the bloddy dark side.

Oh well, and another one, and another one and another one bites the dust...

Top notch - very well done. Please tell me that it doesn't end here. Dying to see what you come up with next. Thanks for the "beginning" of a great tale.

I liked it but need more. Her "end" should not be the end of the story, please finish.

(no pun intended) did I miss the part of what happened to his boss and the boss's wife??

I think we can all assume what happen but I'd really like to see the aftermath of all of this. Great job.

For the sake of all the old dead and half dead rock & roll stars pf the 60's finish this story. Make them both pay! Get the wife's asshole hehehehehe out the door and the other ass hole fired. Oh and have his wfe find out about them too. Come on big guy you can do it! I just loke happy endings!!

Very well done. Tremendously difficult to inject some humor into what is such a devastating and huniliating betrayal, but you pull it off. Please tell me that there is going to be a continuation of this tale. Your talent is truly appreciated.

SUPERB !!!

The best laugh I've had in a long time. The way he approaches the cheating issue as a game of chess is too delicious for words. Please tell us more about how Michelle got the "POINT" about not cheating in the "END"

Please HDK don't leave this unfinished - George must still get his lesson and perhaps his wife should learn all about the affair, but that is in your hands or pen rather !

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE

I'd like to join the others who are asking for more.I enjoyed it very much, especially the humor.

Of all the authors on this site, you know when to end a story. I marvel at your brevity of language, particularly since my tendency is to write novels. I joined the chorus asking for a second chapter to Eleanor Rigby. That story was so compelling it seemed to demand more. This story does not. You ended it at the right point.

In one paragraph, you refer to MIchelle as Linda.

Also, when recovery from surgery, even for a relatively minor procedure, one is not taken straight to a room. A stay in a recovery area is normal.

Great job building the tension and humor. Looks as though Michelle prefers men who are nasty bastards.

I loved the story, the humor and the way it was presented. Please don't let it end here. I want to see him get his revenge on both of them before he moves on.

I hope that you plan on another chapter. You kind of left us hanging. What does he plan on doing? And the tape recorder under the bed must have some interesting, although painful to the ears, sounds on it. He really needs to get back at George.

You mentioned the title character liked to play chess, liked to decimate his opponent, and be the last man standing. But you ended the story at midgame. The point where he's just starting to come out on top. But you didn't add the Endgame where he pulls everything together.

I hope there is a part 2 where its all pulled together.

I can imagine everything else that Eric will do to finish up this story. It will be the fodder for many thoughts in the future. What would a mind like his do to finish this.

If you actually do write more you know we will love reading it, but if not, I will personally write it in my own mind as I reflect back on this work.

Thanks for your writing.

Charleybear

Fantastically written.

Like the Horror of Hitchcock, we know what happened, and its consequences, just that we didn't see it happen.

Very Few Loose ends, the only one I can spot is the under-bed recorder, which would not be enough for a sequel. All it would contain is some chit chat, then some grunts, and then an almighty SCREAM.

Nope, this tale is done.

Congrats

I hope there is a part 2 but if not I think it rates up there with Ticket to Ride. You know what they say "paybacks a bitch."

When will the next chaper be posted - the tape recorder under the bed just screams out for a second chapter, or was that the wife's scream?

The box should have been checked 'non-erotic'. And the chess metaphor - the 'hero' really comes off as a shit, some clown who has lost all sense of intimacy in a relationship, some one who has no idea how to be a husband. And the ending - with the mapped out asault on his wife's rectum - a not too enlightened update of giving her 50 lashes. I disagree with the other comments, there is no need for a sequel to this.

HDK

Loved the story although I would have liked to have read the sex scene. I agree with the others who say there has to be a part 2. We in the audience need to read about the aftermath. How does his wife react to good old fudge packing George? How does the husband keep from laughing over the next few weeks when his wife has to sit in the donut? How does her face look when she has to face him at checkmate? Inquiring minds want to know.

I loved it. There is a part two right???? I hope so. Would like to hear more

Another hit HDK!!!

SLC-Ohio what story are you commenting on? Your quote:

(the 'hero' really comes off as a shit, some clown who has lost all sense of intimacy in a relationship, some one who has no idea how to be a husband.)

The husband is being betrayed and cuckolded and you think he should just be a wimp and take it like you write in your stories? He sets them up to do it to themselves, he did not beat them or shoot them. If she was honest to him, this would not have happened. Or is it that you have a gender bias? I do not have preference of which gender is dishonest, I like to see betrayal put where it belongs, in the gutter. I am not talking monogamy, just honesty. Their lifestyle should include both partners. Do you not believe in honesty and trust?

Sorry about the rant HDK, keep up the excellent work and let us have a chapter 2

Another great story, You left us with alot of questions on this one. Leads me to believe that there is a part two. I hope I am right cause I want more, you are a very good author and I look forward to many more great stories from you.

Another great story, You left us with alot of questions on this one. Leads me to believe that there is a part two. I hope I am right cause I want more, you are a very good author and I look forward to many more great stories from you.

The wife has been checked in her afair, but now we need to find out what happened to her mate (George)Hopefully the revenge on him wil be just as good as it was on her.

Could only find one fault in the story - Michelle's name changed but apart from that I will give this story a rating of 12 out of 10. Please post the aftermath of the afair soon - this could easily be spread over several chapters or is that wishfull thinking

Christian von Fintel

Harddaysknight, you seem to like keeping most of your stories fairly short but you've GOT to keep going with this one. So please continue with the chess match!!! I want to see him capture all of the pieces before calling CHECKMATE!!! Also glad to see you back posting. I've missed your writing.

His laughter may or may not have echoed in the hospital hallways but, I could hear it here as I read the ending.

Keep up the good work.

...to a story. Cheating spouses is always fertle material, and I look forward to seeing how you resolve it.

Oh, how delightfully naughty. What a sweet revenge and novel way to get it. Laughed myself silly

A regular aficionado of your writing, I found myself this time jumping off my chair as I got to the end of your presentation of the story. And the end? or the ending? what did I miss? It is not the lack of complete closure of every angle in the plot which is amiss, but I did expect at least a beginning of a closure which would fit the parameters which HDK set for this story. By the end of the story, using the intriguing metaphor of a grand chess game, the moment of defeat, or even the moment in which it should become clear to both sides which side is about to loose, has not happened yet. For all the two cheaters know, the boss had tried anal sex, which he thought might be a winner, but in fact had seriously bruised the wife. Yet, they can still be only suspicious, and that’s as far as it goes. The husband has not won yet, and the revenge has not been really materialized. For the cheaters there is no necessary connection between spoiling their weekend and husband’s intervening hand. Just like in a chess game, the victory can not be in one player head’s only. He has to move the tools and the opponent has to realize that his (her) game is lost before she drops the king in defeat. If the wife thinks that she just had a mishap with her lover, the big denouement has not even started. Dare I ask for a few more good moves to see how a real story master finishes a suspended story?

He has to confront the cheating spouse. He only got a little revenge, now she has to face the consequences of her actions. And, he also has to deal with the shit-head boss. She should be punished further, you must decide how. But boss-man has a world of shit coming Also think the girls deserve to know mom has been whoring around. As a family, they should decide her punishment, the conditions of her return (if allowed) And be on probation to all her family (and since she seems to have a tender ass, spankings seem good punishments)

he has figured out his wife is cheating, and he makes sure her lover fucks her in the ass. End of story. Yes there were some fancy moves and planning on his part, but that is the gist of the story. No "to be continued", or "watch for part two", or anything else. Is this maybe a sly plan on his part to get his wife into anal sex? If so I hope he will send his boss a thank you note for helping him out.

Leave it the hell alone. It is funny, clever, and anybody who has read literotica for more than a month could provide an ending. Less is more. We don't need details of the settlement or any of that crap.

How may comments are enough?

As usual you exceeded the standard. As I mentioned elsewhere, when you give a perfectly good ending and people are clamoring for more, blame it on the high quality of writing and how much they like your people.

Though it would be interesting how the marriage turned out, and what happened in pursuit of the Bosses Job. I'd say the man was a goner. Be wonderful if you told us how.

Doug

No self professed serious chess player walks away from a mate before all the moves that can be made are made - in the end.

Lets see - Did I say that right? So, in the rock and roll theme - run em now captain.

Author while you are apreciated now - it can be moreso.

I liked Michelle very much, but it was more like a long joke with a really good punch line than a story. In order to accomplish HDK's purpose, ie, to slip in that zinger of a punchline, it was necessary to end the story where it ended.

I guess like the other readers, I'd like to learn about all the things that were unsaid. Still, the author would be well justified to leave things as they stand. Saying too much more may ruin the joke.

and it is on we idiots who bothered to read it.

Bullet mentions a punch line? What punchline? What the stuff did I miss here.

I agree with Kolkore - at least the pretence of the start or an ending would have been at least somewhat fulfilling, but, nope,not even that.

Then we have the perennial Troubador, who I think started all this no endings shit a few years ago praising the story - well, big shock that one!

I think what is happening now is that many authors are coming up with these terrific story ideas and start writing. Suddenly they reach a point where they realise they have absolutely no flaming idea how to finish it off, so they stop there knowing a few pseudo intellectuals will praise their brilliance. Must make them feel really great?

The other likely possibility is that authors are now wimping out at making an ending because whether it is a reconciliation or a break up they know they will be crucified by the 50% who hate that sort of ending. What a shitty weak willed way to live a life, even if it just a 'net life'.

Get some balls, stick your neck out and give us something,

The chess analogy is great. Get back to the board and finish the game.

An excellent and humorous vignette and what's not in the picture is left up to the reader's imagination. Leave it as is or proceed with a follow-up - either way will work. Though with it as is, thoughts of consequences boil away, envisioning Eric setting his boss up for a fall and stripping his wife's mask away - can see it now as he oh so casually mentions her affair to the nurses and as she comes home from the hospital and all her friends are abuzz with the story of her adventurous affair - putting her on the spot and silencing her sharp tongue; setting her up for a memorable fall ~ the possibilities here are endless, limited only by the reader's own vivid imagination.

A chess game is not over until the king is trapped, so come on and finish the game - the king or George still needs to get trapped and the queen knocked from her place.

Please please finish the game

HDK, loved the story, you have a gift for telling the story of the husband who takes revenge on the cheating spouse. But, in this story, I was left wanting more.

Specifically, your story gave the real impression that there was something more going on between Michelle and George than an occasional fuck. That is why I would like to see a second part to this story. I think that Eric needs to find out who Michelle really is. Is she just a spouse who strayed but still claims to love her husband or is she a manipulative, lying, cheating bitch of a spouse who doesn't care at all about her spouse.

My main reason for wondering is the tape recorder in Eric's office. Now, maybe you just put it there to set up the ending, but it also raises signigficant questions and possibilities. If Eric is a chess player and thinking ahead, he would have to wonder why it is there. Is it business related or related to the affair? If it is related to the affair, how? Does Michelle know about it? Are George and Michelle trying to get evidence that he is screwing around so she can divorce Eric and get a good settlement? How does the tape recorder fit with George's character of a philandering bastard?

Using your theme from this part, imagine the fun you could have with George, Michelle and Eric as they dance around the tape recorder. George needs to tell Michelle something about why he treated her like he did, but if he tells Michelle about the "conversation" that Eric had with his brother, he might be screwing himself.

It's the perfect revenge scam. The best part of it is that they can't even be sure that Eric did it on purpose. They don't know that he knew about the tape recorder so it could just be a situation where he was "bragging" to his brother. Even if they know that he did it on purpose, what can they say? If either Michelle or George ever mention it or allude to it in any way, they need to admit they were having an affair and admit that they put the tape recorder in his office. Then, George gets screwed ten ways from Sunday at work.

I can just envision a story line where George and Michelle try to bluff their way through the situation while Eric goes on pretending to be clueless while he happily invents more ways to get his revenge. It could be a classic double scam.

Similarly, I would like to hear what is on the tape recorder at home. No, I don't want to hear her scream, but any pillow talk. That could go a long way to explaining exactly what is going on.

My final comment relates to Martha. At the beginning of the story you mention that George was going to tell Martha that he was going to Cleveland for the weekend so he could get away and spend the entire weekend with Michelle.

If that is the case, why would Eric call and make the floral arrangements on the phone in his office which he knows is recorded? This would seem to be counter productive to his other plan for revenge. If George knows the corsage is going to Martha, it forces him to take her to the theater Friday night and admit that Eric is going to Cleveland and not him.

Unless George dances real well, this would totally screw up the plans to spend the weekend with Michelle. Maybe they got together for a quickie while he pretends to go into the office, but Martha would probably be pretty suspicious.

Wouldn't it have made more sense for Eric to stop at a florist on the way home to order the corsage? It's an innocent enough gesture that wouldn't clue Michelle or George into the fact that he knows about them, but it would create major problems for George. I can just see Martha getting all dolled up to go to the theater on Friday night and George not showing up because he is busy screwing Michelle. Martha would be standing at the door with a frying pan when he gets home Sunday. It catches him in his lie in a way that doesn't point the finger at Eric.

Anyway, great story. I hope you consider expanding it. I would love to see where you take these characters.

I don't really care about hearing ab

finish your story the way you want.finish chapter2 the way you feel.

that's the "problem" with stories like this, in addition to it being like the "long joke" as noted by others.

but if the husband's assessment is valid, he should immediately re-examine it: those two kids may not be his, smart as they are.

that is, if Michelle turned out to have "cleverly" been doing her extra marital activities --- some of which are rather "heavy duty", enough to cause internal bleeding, deserving occasional EM cares like that!

again, makes the woman too dumb (a piece of meat, no more, despite what the author likes to have think: that SHE think she's really clever in her activities over her more clever husband),,,

I'm sure if there's an additional part, Michelle would be crying big tears from her hospital bed, "Honey, I love you so much; those were just sexual activities; the injuries were not intended; the brothas just got a bit carried away, 'tis all"! lol

And there's me thinking this was an erotic site!?

As many have mentioned, you weaved too many plot threads to allow for only one of them to close in a vengeful gig. As such, I admit, it was very good. but beyond that, it almost feels like killing a fly (the gig) with a canon (All the wonderful plot structure). The writing is as usual - superb.

p.s. I have no clue what the rambling of the previous two messeges were all about.

I really enjoyed this story - I just hope it hasn't ended yet - are there any more 'devious' moves to be made, yet?

If this is the end of the story, I think it ended a little too abruptly....after such a good beginning!

I agree with others that a followup is needed. This first chapter was super great for the 'joke' as others alluded to but there are so many loose ends plus the story is left hanging. Superior writing and a fantastic ending. Keep it up and disregard those idiots who low rated you. If they can do better, let them submit a story.

Loved it but if I know HDK he will put a ending like he did to Eleanor Rigby, as for DeadWould and others like her if they do not like what is written let them write their own stories. I know my stories need a lot!!!!!!! of improvements but if they want to make comments like they do then where are their stories so that we can comment on them.

I am still waiting to read the next part of Michelle I just know there will be one but would like to know how long we will have to wait for it. (CAN YOU TELL US?)This has been one of the best I have read lately and am on pins and needles waiting to see how you finish it. Keep up the good writing

A faithful reader

You write from the same genre each time but I always look forward to the next one. Very imaginative, lot's of twists, and actually, some of the unresolved issues make it much more like real life.

Thank you for doing the work for our entertainment.

What is your problem?

I can decide if I like a movie and comment on it even if I don't make movies.

I can decide if I like a particular meal and comment on it even if I don't cook.

But, I'm not allowed to comment on a story unless I write a story?

Get your head out of your arse and look at the real world, my friend.

When Literotica's instructions say I can only leave a public comment if I have written a story for them, then, and only then, may I worry about your stupid opinion about 'no story - no comment'

Thanks HDK - A jolly nice read with just enough tongue in cheek to keep it interesting. The chess idea is novel, but now you have to finish it, after all who leaves a chess game unfinished ?

Thanks for your time & effort in keeping us amused

This is a good story but I haven't heard checkmate yet.

you continue the story is of course entirely up to you.

Like many other readers, I would love to see the next chapter, just because this one is so good! You get the story and the feelings across with wonderful economy, and your sense of humor adds to your work in a way that I don't really see with any other authors on the site.

Rest assured that if you do write another chapter, we will all enjoy it!

ohio

I love the plot twists and turns. I actually read "michelle Ma Belle" (the next chapter) first and feel that your story is well planned. IF you have not yet read the next chapter, you need to! It's definitely worth it!

yes hdk, it was a lie because she said it and he heard it. whats worse is you were too tired to have him call her on it.

After revisiting this classic, I felt it was even better!

When I first read the story, I was impressed (along with almost every one else) by the cunning maneuvers of the husband. The way the husband operates could be likened to using the principles of Judo, namely: the attacking movements of your enemy are used against them for your own advantage. How elegant ironic and…economical! The boss and the wife set up traps – the husband uses the very same traps to let them fall into them. They coordinate information to organize their betrayal of him. He uses their coordination (and the fact that they are NOT supposed to be coordinated) to fool; confuse them and limit their maneuvers.

His boss set up a listening device. He uses this very device to spread disinformation which would lead to them inflicting on themselves the maximum pain possible.

Where I changed my view is on the question whether there should have been more in the story in terms of the aftermath of the wife’s hospitalization. Unlike my comment then, now I feel that even though the last few steps to actually present “the checkmate” have not been presented, in a way you could say that these are ‘no brainier steps’ towards the full closure. The tape would provide the proof for the sexual affair, the needed leverage for divorce proceedings AND for suing the boss for violation of all the existing work laws in the book.

Sure, I would have enjoyed two, even three, more pages of HDK’s ‘cat and mouse’ games before he swallows both wife and boss. But I could not say that it is totally necessary. Good chess players can see ahead when the game is finished even if the viewers want to continue watching.

I just have to read the second part to this story. HDK always entertains, his wit is outstanding.

The next chapter isnt near as good.

Great story with clever ending , but for my taste, the ending was a little too vicious. Any husband who has to laugh hysetrically in the men's room at his wife in the surgical suite is a little too vindictive. to bad she didn't die .He

would have thought that was really hilarious.

the Ct. Yankee

Dumb dumb dumb couple. They'd be better off divorced since neither are much good at keeping themselves out of trouble or at keeping others from hurting their spouse. Pointless for these two to even be 'married'. I've met so many losers like them in real life so I have to admit that I find the story quite believable.

Well crafted and delivered. I'd like to hear any recording, at minimum.

I REALLY LIKED THIS STORY....ONE OF YOUR BETTER ONES IF NOT THE BEST

crisp,clear,concise and cunningly crafted - congratulations!

Because who cares about old folks in their 50s. No man is going to make an effort to fuck some old hide.

You got that wrong. I'd put effort into fucking a woiman in her fifties ---- but then I'm in my sixties and to me she'd be a youngster. Don't know how old you are, but enjoy your obvious youth while you can, time will come when fifty looks attractive!.

You have a lot to learn, not the least of which is manners. Giving an author a 1 for writing about something you are ignorant of is childish at best. When you have actual experience with women, you'll learn that women in their 50's can be some of the most exciting partners of any age. I learned that when I was in my 30's, and it's still true much later on.

Fun story. Inventive and entertaining. The kind we need to encourage, not discourage.

I agree with what you said about older woman and dworslut being a dumb ass, but disagree with rest. HDK acts like men have to put with a cheating slut. they don't, women out number men 4 to 1. drop the slut and move on. this husband should be saying "next"

LOL nice - I would love for you to have gone a little further and see how she explains it all to him and what was on that tape lol-

next,,,,now for a sequel. TK U MLJ LV NV

It's a 5star's story material but 4 half story half stars!

There needs to be more to this, it just feels unfinished.

.... you could have gotten more if you had finished the story.

this is as half-assed an effort at writing as i have ever seen.

Good Cruel Revenge Story. I join others for asking for a second chapter.

as ***** but as there was only half of it there, it got much less.

Come on HDK, give us a second chapter, the set up is too perfect to waste!

A 53 ye old with 16 yr old kids? Is he their grandfather? And who the fuck wants to pound some 50 yr old cunt when they could do way fucking better?

There were too many issues to completely enjoy and while it could have been a winner, instead, it was unpleasant.

I'm 63 - my youngest son is 16 (my wife is 51) - dumbass!

this is so fucking funny - would love to hear the tape.

and leaving room for more drama, Film at 11. TK U MLJ LV NV

And it really does beg for a follow-up.

that is so perfect.

Very humorous, would love to as Paul Harvey said to hear the rest of the story.

You can do better then this!

Very good story. Glad to see there is a part two.