Micki and The Firefighter

First, I've been to a fire station exactly twice, both times with the Cub Scouts, so my apologies to any real firemen who might read this. Second, there is no 'Lifespring Trilogy', but I do like to write, so who knows.

If you've read my other stuff, you know I only do happy endings and I hope you enjoy this one was much as I enjoyed writing it. As always, please leave me a comment and let me know what you think.

* * * * *

I loved this place, I truly did. Liz and I had bought the lot fifteen years ago with the plan to retire here together. In the divorce, she got full custody of our two sons, the house in Phoenix and some serious alimony, and I got the lot just outside of Boulder. She laughed when I demanded it, knowing full well that with what I was paying in child support and alimony, I would never be able to build anything here.

When I published my first book and it hit the New York Times Best Seller list, she realized she might have been wrong and took me back to court, demanding that she get the lot, too, outing me as a cross dresser to my two boys and ruining my relationship with both in the process.

I had been able to find a better lawyer and during the hearing a lot of what she had been doing came up and the alimony was terminated, I still had three years of child support left and no real relationship with my sons, but the reality of my house in the mountains was looking like it had a chance.

A year later, I published the second book in my trilogy and hired an architect, that was eighteen months ago.

Four months ago, the final book in my Lifespring Trilogy hit the bookshelves and the bookstores couldn't keep it on the shelves, I put my house on the market and packed everything I owned into a U-Haul, attached my Jeep to the towbar and headed northeast.

Nested in the middle of five acres, the house was a two-story cabin, three bedrooms and three and a half baths, I wanted to make sure my boys each had a place should they ever decide to come visit. I had a small office off the master which I would use to write and a nice balcony that gave me a view of the mountains and privacy should I want to work on my bikini tan.

Ben was my only neighbor, a fireman in Boulder, he worked twenty-four hour shifts with two days off in between. He had helped me unload my truck, put all my furniture together, even following me back into Boulder to turn in the truck, and all for pizza and beer. We passed each other coming and going, even having drinks on occasion on his deck of mine, I wouldn't call us good friends, but he was definitely a good neighbor.

I wasn't really hiding my cross dressing, but I wasn't going out of my way to advertise either and I honestly had no clue whether Ben knew or not. I ran every morning in tight spandex shorts and a sports bra, headphones in and my small forms glued in place and bouncing happily on my chest, I went for day hikes in short shorts, a tank top and boots, my ass readily on display. If he had seen me, he knew and I didn't care, but it never came up.

I was sure he knew the day I woke up in his guest room, he had found me wandering down the road to our little cul de sac, drunk off my ass, trying to walk with the broken heel from one of my bright red pumps in one hand and an almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels in the other. My red cocktail dress ripped and stained, my stockings ruined and a large stream of crusted blood running down my leg from where I had stumbled off the road into the trees. My makeup was a mess and my hair full of pine needles.

"Miss, are you ok? Oh, shit, Mike, is that you? What happened?" I vaguely remember him asking.

"Steve goshed married," I slurred, "my son hazzzz a weff and d, d, d, n't wan me there," I took another swig of the whiskey and collapsed into his arms.

I woke up to the mother of all hangovers, slowly opening one eye to see where I was. The room was simple and clean, I was in a comfortable queen-sized bed, Ben had removed my shoes and bandaged my leg, but, other than that, I was exactly as he had found me. It was harder than it should have been to make my way across the room to the bathroom, my head was pounding, it was hard to focus, and my leg was finally able to let me know how badly it hurt.

I sat to take care of my business as much because that's how ladies did it and I was still dressed as I was afraid of falling over and peeing all over myself which, in my state, was a definite possibility.

"Towel and washcloth and a t-shirt on the vanity, help yourself to the shower," Ben's voice came through the door, "and coffee on the dresser out here when you're done."

I didn't even answer, I was too busy trying not to throw up on my feet.

The shower was exactly what I needed, I started with cold water to try and shake the hangover and then turned it as hot as I could stand, washing my hair and scrubbing my makeup from my face, just letting the hot water pour over my body.

Remembering what had brought the drunk on, I collapsed into the tub and started to cry, my oldest had married his high school sweetheart, she was the daughter Liz and I never had. I was not only not told, but was specifically not invited, a family friend texted me a picture of them kissing at the altar. I had called Steve," Fuck off Mike," was all he said when he answered.

The water turned cold again, and I was cried out, so I dried off, put my panties and bra back on and pulled Ben's t-shirt on over my head. My red dress and what was left of my pantyhose would go in the trash along with the shoes.

"Rough night," Ben commented from the kitchen as I made my way downstairs.

"You could say that" I faked a laugh," and you're not freaked out by how you found me? Most people get a little wierded out by things like that."

"Yeah, no," he chuckled," I'm a fireman, I've seen everything. And to be honest, I've been setting my alarm so I can watch you leave for your run every morning for the past three weeks."

I spewed my coffee all over the counter," you've what?"

"Hey, those shorts you wear, be honest, you want someone to look and I'm the only person up here, so..."

"Fair enough, but my turn to be honest, I never really thought about it like that, I just like to look hot," I could feel myself blushing and new I wasn't being completely honest with him, or myself.

"It works, hot is definitely the word I'd choose," he turned around and set a big plate of bacon and eggs in front of me with a few slices of toast," so about last night, you want to talk about that?"

I told him what had happened and what Steve had said when I called him, ultimately filling him on all the details, how Liz had found out about my dressing and had misrepresented it to the boys, claiming all kinds of depraved things, most of which I had never thought of and only a few that had been the subject of some fantasies. The boys had bought it all and confronted me, it had gotten ugly fast and, at least with Steve, didn't show any signs of ever getting better. The wedding had almost broken me.

"I've got a softball game; you want to go. Might help take your mind off things for a while and the guys I play with are a lot of fun; probably pizza and beer after."

"Mike or Micki?" I smiled at him.

"Your choice, but like I said, hot is definitely the word I'd choose."

That was all the encouragement I needed, I ran across the street, put on some clean underwear, checked my boobs to make sure they weren't coming loose, and pulled on a pair of shorts that were decent but accented my ass and showed off as much of my legs as they could. Sneakers and a pair of ankle socks with frilly trim finished the outfit, light makeup and my purse and I was good to go; I wore Ben's firehouse t-shirt, too.

I could see how he watched me as I ran back across the street and knew he approved, 'hot is definitely the word I'd choose', his words echoed in my head. Yeah, I'd had a couple of fantasies about tall hunky firemen, but never thought there was a chance that one might come true.

"Here, suns going to be bright today," his smile was a little crooked as he handed me a ball cap to match the shirt.

"So, what, am I now the official Station 77 mascot?" I laughed and pulled my hair into a ponytail, letting it cascade out the back of the cap.

"Sounds good to me," he opened my door and let me climb into his truck, it sounded good to me, too.

On the way to the game, I called my youngest, Chris, he apologized for his brother and told me to just give him some time. We talked for a few minutes before I asked him why he thought his brother would come around, "because he did when I told him I was gay," there was a long silence, "and I think it's different because you're our dad and I'm just his little brother. Steve always talked about how much he wanted to be just like you when he grew up and then mom laid all that crap on us; he was devastated."

"Thanks Chris, I really needed to hear that, and any cute guys I need to know about?"

"Maybe, should I be asking you the same thing," he laughed, "Love you dad, and give Steve some time, I promise he'll come around."

"Love you, too. How'd you get so smart, anyway?"

"Taking after my dad, I guess."

"Well, my oldest still hates me, my youngest says to give him time, is gay and has a boyfriend, how about that?" I laughed.

"Sounds like everything is about normal," Ben laughed too and patted me on my leg, without thinking I put my hand on his; neither of us moved until he pulled into the parking lot.

The game was great, Station 77 beat Station 13 by 3 runs in the bottom of the seventh, Ben had hit a stand-up triple and made an awesome diving catch in the hole between short and third for an unassisted double play. For some reason, seeing a couple dozen hard bodied firemen getting all hot and sweaty made me very uncomfortable, I had to go to the ladies' room three times to make sure my tuck hadn't come undone.

Pizza and beer were even more fun, the firemen were a big fraternity, the game was over, and they were all friends again, rehashing the game and calling out excellent plays and almost's and what if's that would have changed the outcome. Several of them hit on me, which I enjoyed immensely, but Ben made sure to come check on me, putting his arm around me and touching me like he was marking his territory. My head was spinning with all the attention and I felt my face turn crimson when a lieutenant from Station 13 told Ben he better put a ring on it before I got away, Ben just smiled and winked at me.

The ride home was awkward, neither of us knowing quite what had really happened or what to say about it. I knew I had had a wonderful time and enjoyed all the attention very much; it was the lieutenant's comment and Ben's reaction that had me confused, He knew I was a guy, yeah, a hot guy with a nice ass, great legs, and fake tits, but the way he reacted reminded me of when my dad had asked me when I was going to propose to Liz, and the thought kind of excited me.

I soaked in a hot tub, climbed in bed, and fell asleep to dreams about a hot bodied fireman doing all kinds of nasty and wonderful things to my body.

I was halfway through my morning run when Ben pulled up next to me, rolling down his window," Hey hot stuff?"

"I pulled out my earbuds and walked over to his truck, "you're one to talk," I smiled.

"Just wanted to tell you I had a great time yesterday and apologize for the lieutenant, he's kind of a jerk sometimes."

"No problem, I had a nice time, too, and I like your friends."

"They like you, too and told me to let you keep the shirt and cap," he laughed, "I guess you're our mascot after all," his smile seemed to say a lot more.

"Well, be safe today. I guess I'll see you sometime tomorrow," my stomach was in knots, I put my earbuds in and started to run, I didn't even say goodbye. I was so confused, I just wanted to get away.

I took a long shower and of all things, put that damned Station 77 t-shirt back on and started pouring through my idea bag, it was the folder on my computer where I kept all the ideas and snippets of stories, I had started to write but never finished. Finding one I thought had promise, I started on some character profiles and then a rough outline, by the time I came up for air, I knew I was onto something and it was four o'clock in the morning; I had been at it for twenty hours straight.

Someone was knocking on my fricking door, it was, oh crap, it was 12:30 in the afternoon, I stumbled to the door and cracked it open, "Nice shirt," Ben was smiling at me," you hungry? I was thinking burgers."

I was as hungry as I was sleepy," Sure, give me a few minutes," I turned and headed back to my room, leaving the door wide open and letting my head clear as it occurred to me what had just happened," shit," I thought to myself, I was going to get lost in a new book to keep my mind off Ben, was naked under the shirt, and had just stretched my arms over my head probably flashing him my bare ass in the process.

Hair in a ponytail, light makeup, clean underwear, jeans, knee boots and a Queen t-shirt, "tell me I didn't just flash you, ok?" I snickered as I closed the door behind us.

"No idea what you're talking about," he laughed.

"Liar," I punched him in the arm.

Something had changed with me and Ben, we were more than neighbors, more than just friends, but not quite anything else. We dated, for lack of a better term, dinner movies, that kind of stuff, but he never even tried to go further than putting his arm around me or holding my hand and I didn't either, it was like some unwritten rule between the two of us, a line we either didn't want to cross or were too afraid to.

I stopped by the station on days he worked and dropped off cookies and big pots of my mom's venison stew and the guys treated me like their sister. I had no idea where I wanted things to go, I just knew I liked being with Ben, even just sitting on the couch watching old movies.

When my birthday came, Ben took me in to Boulder to a nice Italian restaurant when the Sinatra impersonator sang L O V E, his face turned scarlet, I blushed a little too. Emily had sent me a birthday card that Steve had refused to sign. Inside was a brief note reiterating what Chris had told me, just give him some time, FedEx dropped off a package the next day, it was an album filled with pictures of their wedding and honeymoon. Ben and I sat and look through it, he just held me as I cried.

"You are such a girl," he hugged me tight as I sniffled.

"Not really, you know that" I nestled under his arm.

"More than you think, maybe you should talk to someone about that," he pulled me closer.

"Is that what you want?"

"Doesn't matter what I want, it matters what you want. I just think you need to find out," I wanted to pull his lips to mine so badly. We sat in silence for a long time, watching the fire, my head on his chest. I knew exactly what I wanted, gay, straight, bi, I had no idea what it meant, I just wanted my fireman.

Chris and Eric showed up the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I came back from the store to find them siting in my kitchen drinking coffee and talking with Ben, I looked at Chris and his boyfriend, the reminded me so much of me and Ben, Chris was just under 6" and slight of build, almost feminine, shaggy blonde hair and big blue eyes, I had called him mini me growing up. Eric was at least 6'3" and obviously worked out, not quite as impressive as Ben's 6'6" but he was a nice-looking guy, and the way they touched each other and looked at each other, I knew they were in love; it was so obvious.

Everybody pitched in and helped me unload the groceries, we were going to be stuffed tomorrow I had made sure of that. Ben kidnapped Chris and went to pick up pizza for dinner while Eric and I started prep work for tomorrow's feast, I had a feeling that something was going on, but was too busy making sure I hadn't forgotten anything to worry about it.

"So, what should I call you? I mean you're Chris' dad, but you're also obviously trans, so is it still Mr. Fischer, or Ms. Fischer, or Mike, or, I mean, I just thought I should ask."

'Trans' I had never even thought about that, maybe that's what Ben had been alluding to, maybe I did need to find someone to talk to, after all," Well, most people call me Micki now, let's start with that," I smiled at him.

"Ok, I like that name, um can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything. What's on your mind?"

"Well, it's just that I don't think I can ask Chris' mom, she's still not too happy that he and I are seeing each other."

"Sounds like it's something important," I could feel it coming and almost couldn't contain my excitement.

"It's just that I've never met anyone like Chris. He makes me want to be the best version of me I can, um," he took a deep breath and just blurted it out, "I'd like to ask your permission to marry him," the look in his eyes was worth everything.

"You don't really need my permission, but you absolutely have my blessing," I wrapped him in my arms, or I guess he wrapped me in his.

Ben and Chris came back with the pizza and I just watched as they fell into each other arms and kissed like that hadn't seen each other in months, holding hands and joining me and Ben at the counter to load a few pieces of the delectable pie onto their plates. I caught Ben looking at me with an odd look on his face, filling my plate, I intentionally got in his way, he slipped his hand around my waist and made sure I felt every inch of his body as he slid by. I almost dropped my plate.

We talked and laughed, sharing stories, and getting to know each other, I found myself sitting on the floor next to Bens legs while he played with my hair, Chris and Eric nestled next to each other on the love seat by the fireplace, the only thing that could have made this moment better would have been Steve and Emily being here too.

"Just give him some time, mom, he'll come around," Chris knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Did you just call me mom?" I smiled.

"Well, all things considered, dad just doesn't seem to work anymore. Is this like permanent now?"

"Do, I dress like this all the time, yes, have I done anything else, not yet." I hugged Ben's leg, "I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm still trying to figure a lot of things out."

The conversation seemed to just die out after that, Ben made his apologies and promised to be back early in the morning to help and Chris gave me a curious look. I walked Ben to the door and kissed him on the cheek.

"I don't get it," Chris was rinsing our plates in the kitchen, Eric had already gone upstairs.

"Get what?" I picked up a dish towel and started drying them.

"You and Ben, you guys are so obviously in love with each other it hurts, the way you look at each other, the way you touch each other, the way he practically bent you over the table and took you from behind when he was trying to get his pizza, come on. And then you just kiss him on the cheek and let him go home, how are you not fucking his brains out right now?"

"Chris, I, I, how did you know, how did you know with Eric?"

"You're my mom and you're asking me for advice?" he laughed.

"So, sue me, besides, I've only been your mom for like thirty minutes."

We sat and talked. Before long Eric came back downstairs and joined us, over the next couple of hours, I got a masters class in sexuality from my twenty-year-old son and his soon to be fiancé. Neither of them had thought they were gay until they met, it had just been comfortable, nice, easy, and then one night Chris slipped and fell, and Eric helped him up, their eyes met, and they kissed. It was awkward and tentative, it was scary as hell, but it was still all those other thigs too, comfortable, nice, easy, and they both knew it was right. That had been over a year ago.