Mike & Karen Ch. 29

"YES!" Alex hollered in triumph, making Alexa start slightly at the noise in the relatively small space. DeBourne men could be so loud! She watched as he pulled a tall box out of the corner, holding it up like it was the Holy Grail. "Fuck, yeah!"

"I... guess that's Blong?" Alexa queried, watching him. "Whatever a Blong is?"

"I can't believe I found him," Alex breathed as he put the box down on the floor and then knelt, his eyes wide with excitement. "It's been like a decade!"

He ran his hands over the top of the rectangular box, pressing his thumbs along the label as if to clean it off and make it legible. Alexa came and knelt down beside him now, looking on curiously, her boobs pressing into his arm. For once, he seemed to take no notice. Alex read the label out loud.

"Alex, do not open until after your Father and I are both dead," he recited. "Wow, really nice of mom and dad to change their minds, eh?"

"Don't you think it's weird that Kar capitalizes the F in 'father' when she's talking about Mike?" Alexa asked, unable to figure out her sister sometimes.

"Please, I can practically hear it in the way She speaks," Alex almost snorted. "It's been that way my whole life, why do you think I'm so scared of Him? It's Mom's fault. Damn, I just did it, didn't I?"

"Sooooo who or what is Blong?" the blonde girl asked. "Nobody seems to wanna tell me."

"I'll do better than tell you, I'll show you," Alex replied, nodding, still staring at the box and almost caressing it.

"'kay, but I need to test a theory first," his aunt-wife said, shifting around. "Alex?"

Alex looked up from the box.

Alexa had lifted her shirt, exposing her large, perfect tits to him. Of course, she hadn't been wearing a bra.

"Blong, dude, gimme just a few more minutes..." Alex said with apologetic haste as he surged to his feet, pushing Alexa back against the wall and pinning her. His hand was under her skirt before she knew what was happening and she gasped and opened her legs wider, wrapping them around his waist...

***

The Grand Library, on the bel étage...

"I don't know why you're all here," Karen muttered as nearly everyone who resided on the estate stood around, watching curiously. "Don't most of you people have jobs or something?"

"Tril'n me are way ahead of schedule, Mistress," Valentina replied, standing with Karen and Mike and looking at the long table where Alex had deposited the mysterious box. "I really wanna know after the stink you put up about it."

"Don't you dare try to pin this on me, Valentina Prospero," Karen almost hissed, knowing that nobody had any intention of leaving. She hadn't even bothered to correct her handmaid's grammar. Even Jordan was nearby, watching with a resigned, placid dignity. Alex was getting more excited with each passing second.

Alexa, on the other hand, looked strangely disheveled and slightly out of it, wearing a goofy grin on her face as she stood beside him.

What on earth did that boy do to her down in the basement? Karen wondered.

"Awriiight," Alex seemed to say to himself as he rubbed his hands together, staring at the tall box intently. It wasn't huge, but it was a good meter tall, and not as wide. It was bound tight with packing tape, the label sitting on top. "Let's do this..."

He tried to get his fingers under the tape, frowning as he met with little success. He tried his luck at the edges of the tape, where he also seemed to be thwarted.

"Holy crap, mom," he exclaimed as he kept trying to find some part of the tape he could latch on to. "Did you and dad melt the tape into the reinforced cardboard?"

"Could one blame them if they did, Master Alex?" Jordan said rather unhelpfully from the background.

"I s'pose I could get one of the girls to try and use their nails, but it's really on there," the young man muttered, frowning at the box. "I'm gonna need a box cutter or something."

Andrea held up her hand and a rather sizeable switchblade knife snapped into view with a loud 'snakt!' "Will this do, my man?"

"Gesù, Maria, Giuseppe e l'asino!" Val squeaked as she nearly leapt backwards when she saw the butcher blade her co-worker was holding. "You're armed? Do you always carry that?"

"An oversized wrench isn't the answer to everything, y'know," Andrea replied, shrugging as she handed the weapon to Alex. He put the knife point at the corner of the box and worked it under. "Wow, that's a lot of tape..."

Mike and Karen said nothing, simply watching. Alex seemed to be having trouble getting it inside.

"Think of me, Alex," his wife suggested.

"Ah, thanks, Alexa," he said as the blade glided right in now with no trouble and he began pulling the sharpened edge along the tape, slicing it away. Karen gave her younger sister a sour look, but Alexa didn't seem to notice, still watching Alex. "Yeah, here we go..."

He sliced all the way around the top, since he didn't want to ruin the label his parents had so thoughtfully made for him all those years ago. That was becoming a memento of this occasion. He laughed as he reached in and pulled out yet another reinforced cardboard box, nearly the same size, just with a thin layer of polystyrene between it and the outer shell.

"Wow, this one's taped up even tighter," he remarked as he went to work with the switchblade. "Sorry about the edge of your knife, Andrea."

"No worries, that's the little one," she said simply, shrugging. Valentina eyed her co-worker warily and shuffled away a little bit.

With more slicing that occasionally resembled pulling or ripping, Alex grunted his way around the thick tape barrier. "Jeez, what's gonna be next, an adamantium box?" he laughed as he cut.

He removed the second lid, having finally made his way around the container, then peered inside. Crushed newspaper and packing peanuts seemed to surround whatever waited within.

"Get out here, dude," Alex said as he reached in, grabbed something and pulled up. Paper and packing peanuts went everywhere, causing Karen and Trilby both to purse their lips tight, trying not to protest loudly as Alex profaned the library with detritus. He put the paper and tape-wrapped object on the table now, sighing and nodding in satisfaction. He was getting close.

"Kinda looks like a dog, sorta," Jeanie said, trying to parse out what exactly she was looking at. "Maybe kinda."

"Maybe kinda," Karen sighed with a note of despair. Jenny put an arm around her beloved friend's shoulder and kissed her cheek.

Alex carefully used the switchblade tip to poke a tiny hole in the very top and then dragged the tip down the shape's surface, taking his time. Whatever lay beneath, he clearly had no intention of damaging it. He reached the bottom, then handed the knife back to Andrea before working his fingers into the fissure he'd created. He began to tear.

"Yes!" he said in loud joy as he pulled the paper away and revealing the treasure within. "Long time no see, pal!"

Everyone else in the room was staring dumbly, except for Karen, who had her eyes closed and was shaking her head. Mike was putting his hand on his wife's shoulder, and Jordan just seemed placidly resigned, as always.

"That's Blong?" Alexa asked in a quiet and somewhat bewildered voice.

"What's Blong, I think is the more relevant question," Tatyana corrected, making a wry face. "Alex?"

He was still too busy grinning to answer, staring at his recovered prize. Before them all, a sizable statue of a ceramic dog, breed indeterminate, sat upright. It was glossy white, with blown splotches on it.

But things got weird as one looked farther up the body- the dog's head was missing, clearly broken off at some point, with only part of the bottom jaw remaining. Stuffed into the hollow where the head should have sat was a black plushie of a cartoony pig, with large crossed eyes.

The eldritch horror just goggled back at anyone in front of it.

"I wonder..." Alex mused, pulling the pig out of the cranial cavity where it had been nestled snugly. He absently handed the pig to Valentina, who squeaked in panic and tossed it back and forth between her hands like it was a hot potato, or a severed head. Karen snatched the pig away from her skittish maid, trying not to scowl.

"Ha, yes!" Alex crowed as he looked inside the neck hole. "I hope I can..."

He attempted to reach inside, wiggling his hand down, but soon realized that it wouldn't fit now, and his forearm certainly wouldn't. He looked around for a moment, then settled on his wife. "Alexa, I can't fit my arm in anymore, would you please fish the stuff out?"

"Not gonna get stung, am I?" she asked rather suspiciously as she moved in. "I watched Flash Gordon with you the other night..."

She turned her body and reached her arm inside, pushing down. She made several faces as she encountered things, but finally drew her hand out. She stared at what she was holding.

"It's a doorknob," she said to no one in particular. "Why?"

"There's more, go ahead," he said eagerly, taking the trophy from her. She took a breath and reached in again, this time fishing out a set of car keys. Next, she came up with an ancient pack of gum, a brand she'd never even heard of.

Lastly, she fished out a quarter, a nickel, and five pennies.

"Do I even wanna know, Alex?" she asked, making a wry face as she looked at the tarnished and faded bullion.

"They were in there when we bought Blong at the garage sale," Alex replied, looking at the goodies eagerly, making sure they were all accounted for.

"Blong wasn't even for sale," Karen pointed out with a sigh. "He was just junk in the pile of stuff the house with the sale was throwing in the trash, but Alex spotted him from the street and dashed on over, bonding with the thing instantly on some molecular level and saying we needed to rescue him. He bought the nightmare pig at another sale next door."

"How old were you, Alex?" Jenny queried, seeming rather charmed by the whole affair.

"Uhhh, five, I believe," the young man replied, examining Blong to make sure he was still in working order. "I insisted on paying for him, so the guy let me give him a buck. We got him back home, I stuffed the pig in the neck hole, and dubbed him 'Blong'."

"Wow, that was a good deal if all that stuff was already in there," Jeanie remarked, seeming impressed for some reason. "I mean, the doorknob's made of brass, so you can sell it for scrap, if you ever find out what car those keys belong to then you've got a car, and there was thirty cents in there already, meaning he only cost you, ummmmmm... sixty-five cents?"

"Yes, yndling," Freja said affectionately, caressing her wife's arm. "That is correct."

"I can't believe I have Blong back," Alex breathed, his eyes shining with delight, almost caressing up and down the abomination's back lovingly.

"I can't believe the most heartwarming moment of this reunion was Jeanie managing to do math," Karen muttered, making people nearby snicker. "So there you go, Alex. You have Blong again after nearly twelve years."

"You told me that he went to the ceramic doggie hospital and didn't survive," Alex said, taking the pig plushie from his mother and putting it back in place after he had re-interred the contents of Blong's bowels. "I was so upset."

"Alex, this can't stay in our bedroom," Alexa said firmly. "I know I'm a pushover for you normally and you make all the decisions for us, but I've gotta put my foot down one time in this relationship. This is it."

"He cannot stay here in the library," Tatyana reasoned. "What would Lady Thunderhawk think?"

The centuries-old ship figurehead that loomed over them now stared in disapproval.

"I've got an answer," Alex declared readily, picking Blong up and hurrying out of the library. Everyone just watched silently as he disappeared.

Far too quickly, they heard his voice echoing nearby. "Ha! Yes!"

"Oh, damn," Karen mumbled as she hurried out of the library with her husband and Jenny. Everyone else followed behind, not at all sure if they wanted to be left out of whatever was about to happen.

"Alex, no..." Karen almost whined as they came into the grand foyer and joined him. He was standing beside the credence table, looking triumphant as Blong sat atop the marble surface. "If you put him there, everyone who ever visits will see him and know of our shame!"

"Mom, you said I was allowed to add an heirloom to this floor, make myself a piece of it," Alex countered, not letting her normally very effective whining beat him. "Paintings of scary old men everywhere, giant suits of armour, a chandelier with more glass in it than Koyaanisqatsi, and the last thing to sit on this credence table for any length of time was your used underwear. I think this is a win."

Karen blushed and stopped talking at the mention of her unmentionables.

"Okay, Alex," Mike said, taking over and putting an end to the matter. "He can stay. But he's your responsibility. You look after him, you clean him, and you get the Catholic priests to perform the exorcism rites when he comes to life and starts the killings, do you understand?"

"Hell, yeah!" Alex said. "Thanks, mom, dad!"

Before she knew what was happening, Alexa got grabbed by the wrist and dragged up the grand staircase and out of the foyer. She squeaked and stumbled as she tried to keep up with him.

"I'm not sure I'm pleased that what basically amounts to necromancy turns my little boy on," Karen muttered, shaking her head as she watched the young couple disappear. She could hear Alexa giggling now, and hoped they made it to their suite.

"I find his enthusiasm refreshing," Jenny remarked, smirking. "After all, Kat, I felt and acted much the same way after you called and asked me back into your life."

"I think I really hate that the countess has a totally legit point there," Trilby said, looking back at Blong and wrinkling her nose in distaste. "We're sure it's not gonna murder us all in our sleep, right?"

"Don't worry, Trilby, I'll survive," Mike pointed out.

"Thanks, boss," the hippie girl said dryly, clearly not encouraged.

"Okay, you lot," Tatyana announced, clapping her hands and getting her staff's attention. "You're all on salary, not paid by the hour, let's go."

Everyone hurried off in different directions, with Theresa stopping briefly to look at her employers.

"Breakfast tomorrow is eggs benedict, with holy water for refreshments," she said, eyeing Blong warily before heading toward the kitchen.

"I doubt I'll have any appetite back yet by then," Karen grumbled, scowling at the floor before looking up at her husband. "I told you we should have dumped him out of the plane over the Pacific on that trip to Maui."

Mike shrugged. "He'd still come back to haunt us, Gordon."

"I know..." she admitted with a sigh, walking toward the old lounge with him in hopes of finding some Armagnac...

***

Somewhere on campus, Monday night, 1987...

She'd been looking around for him all afternoon, and finally caught up. Everyone could tell her where he had been, but the oversized pervert just moved from one spot to the next with great speed.

No doubt defiling girls all over the campus, she thought darkly. Well, she would put a stop to that, without question. Once she'd dealt with him, the university's scores would skyrocket, no doubt. It annoyed her that people were simply assuming that her crusade for campus decency was religiously motivated. Nothing could be further from the truth! She wanted her place of learning to be a bastion of truth, a shining beacon of rational thought that lead humanity to a better future, free of its more base and superstitious impulses.

There he was. Hard to miss, once you finally spotted him. He was standing with a group of young women, making them laugh while he related some story to them. Undeterred, she walked right up to him and stood just to his side, realizing for the first time how tall and truly massive he was. It gave her a shiver to refused to acknowledge.

"You and I have to talk, sir," she said, hoping she sounded assertive and wasn't actually squeaking, the way it sounded in her head.

"Um, 'scuse me, there's a line, frizzy," one brunette standing with the giant said to her, looking annoyed. "Y'want some, wait your turn like everyone else."

The huge blond man slowly turned his head and looked down at her. The gesture made it feel like she had somehow gotten the attention of some ancient deity, who was just now noticing an insignificant mortal begging for their attention. Another shiver, and she shoved it down where it belonged. She was on a mission, and would not be deterred.

"Mike DeBourne," he said in a pleasant, molten baritone as he turned and held out his enormous hand for her to shake. "And your name, miss?"

"My name is Verna Varseveld," she said curtly, keeping her hands on her clipboard and not shaking his hand. Jesus, his fist looked like it was the size of her head! "And as I said, you and I have matter of some urgency to discuss."

"You're not trying to cut the line to get some dick?" another girl asked.

"Assuredly not," Verna declared. "The exact opposite, in fact."

"Fuckin' lezbos..." the girl muttered, folding her arms and waiting patiently.

"Do you have somewhere we can talk about this without your harem drooling all over you?" Verna asked testily.

Mike looked down at himself. "I mean, they're not drooling all over me, it's mostly just on my shoes," he said, making several of the girls giggle and causing one of them to swat his butt playfully. He smiled to them all. "Ladies, if you'll excuse me, I'll see to whatever is happening here and catch up with you. Don't worry, I remember the order of operations."

"Whatever that is, you big nerd," laughed a girl. "Laters!"

Once the gaggle had departed, he looked down at the newcomer again. "So, something to discuss? Where would you feel comfortable doing this?"

"What, you're not going to use some cheesy line about taking me up to your dorm room?" she asked somewhat snidely.

"No, of course not," Mike said with a shrug. "Why would I do that?"

"Then we can use your room," she said, pointing at the campus. "Lead on."

Five minutes later...

"You have a private room?" she asked in mild disbelief as she looked around the dorm room. It was dominated by an enormous (and very expensive-looking) bed, a huge desk, and bookshelves. Plastic models of cars, tanks, planes, ships, and nerdy robots were everywhere.

"Well, I take up a lot of space, not fair to ask someone to try and room with me," Mike said simply as he gestured around. "And it was one of the ways they bribed me to come here to study, as opposed to going to another institution like MIT, Oxford, Caltech, Stanford, or Harvard."

"So they gave you your own room?" she asked, trying to not sound surprised.

Mike shrugged. "They didn't need to try that hard, I only wanted to come here. I would've slept in a tent on the campus green if necessary. Do you want me to keep the door open for your peace of mind?"

"Not necessary," Verna replied. "Might be easier to discuss this if nobody can hear us anyway."

"Sounds like I might want to keep the door open for my peace of mind or safety," the tall, golden-haired man chuckled as he closed the door. He turned to face her and gestured around the room. "Sit where you like, there's a few choices."

"Thanks," she said, simply plunking down on the edge of the bed. Damn, this thing was soft. No wonder the women on campus were trying to get in here. "So, on to business. I've come to get you to sign a petition."

"I've signed petitions before," Mike said simply, leaning back against the wall so that he wasn't towering over her. He folded his arms, left over right, which was a relaxed body posture. Right over left was defensive and insular. "Go on, please."