Mike & Karen Ch. 30

"And what am I meant to infer from that statement, young lady?" came a crisp and dignified voice with an English accent from behind them at the entrance to the library.

Janet, Lisa, and Mona all spun and squealed in delight, dashing straight for Jordan.

"Cadbury!" Janet laughed, hugging the old man tightly. "I haven't seen you in years! Where've you been, you old fox?!"

"It is good to see you as well, Mistress Remington," he said, somehow managing to hug all three girls at once. Mike and Karen watched quietly, with Karen wiping a tear from her eye. Nearby, the staff all looked on, smiling.

"Ohhhh, Mistress Remington," Janet aped in a deep, English-accented voice, standing erect with her hands behind her back and trying to sound formal while the other two were still latched onto him. "We are obligated to inform you that your presence is most welcome here in these hallowed halls, and by virtue of past familiarity, we are even allowed to say we are pleased to see you once again."

"Be nice, Jan," Lisa giggled, hugging Jordan. "It's really good to see you again, Mr. Winson. I've missed you."

"I have missed you too, my dear," he said gently, hugging her back before he hugged Mona. "And you, Mistress Bresciani."

"That's the introductions for now," Karen said, nodding to the staff and Tatyana. "We'll be in the Dunsany Lounge on the third floor. Theresa, please see that drinks and canapés are ready, and Miss Prospero, if she is available, will see to other needs."

Tatyana sent Dave to retrieve Lisa's luggage from the front, while Janet's and Mona's would be seen to in due course. Mona took Jordan's arm, and Janet walked arm-in-arm with Karen. Lisa scrambled up to sit on Mike's shoulders, towering over everyone, and pointed the way. The others all laughed and followed.

***

"God, lookit all the fun they're having," Alexa breathed, watching the screen and the video windows. The only window doing nothing right now was Alex's. He was in their bedroom suite, reading a book and waiting for his turn, indicated by a cue from his father. "I'm... am I missing out?"

"No, my love," Freja said gently, smiling and caressing her best friend's shoulder, while Jeanie did the same from the other side. "Because you are being patient, tomorrow will be so much more special for you. Let your aunts settle in, and let them meet the countess again. You do not want to just be part of that. You need your own time."

"I know," Alexa said, her voice cracking. This was almost as terrifying as when she'd been on her way here for the first time, to meet her family. She felt the same knots in her stomach. It was almost more than she could take. "It's just hard."

"Well yeah, that just means it's worthwhile, right?" Jeanie reasoned. "I mean, if you weren't terrified, that'd mean it wasn't all that important to you, I guess. Lady Prof says they're all gonna die when they see you, Lexi, so just rein it in until tomorrow morning. You're gonna be waiting for them when they get up, and... it's... it's another new chapter in all of your lives."

"Jeanie, sometimes you sound like the smartest person I'll ever know," Alexa said, smiling at her friend, her eyes glassy with tears and love.

"Oh, well, thanks," Jeanie mumbled, blushing a little. "Not very often I hear someone say-"

She paused and then looked at Alexa suspiciously. "What do you mean I sound like the smartest person you'll ever know?"

***

The Dunsany Lounge...

They were sitting around in chairs and loveseats, talking eagerly and catching up. Mike and Karen insisted on hearing about everyone else, since their visitors would have more than enough time to catch up on everything that was happening. But before anything else, they'd insisted adamantly on hearing from Jordan, since he had been fired and just disappeared some years before their last visit. It had upset them all terribly.

"But now I have found myself back here, thanks to the relentless bloodhound nature of these two," Jordan said, nodding in the direction of Mike and Karen, having explained his whereabouts. "And it has been intimated to me that I am indeed a member of the family. It has taken some adjusting, I admit."

"I'm just so glad you're back, Jordan," Mona sighed, looking relieved as Theresa and Val came in, bringing light morning food, tea, and coffee on antique carts.

"Just some refreshments," the chef said, smiling and nodding. She saw to the new guests first, and Mona's eyes widened in wonder as Theresa set down coffee in front of her.

"Mrs. DeBourne told me that you like a little coffee with your sugar and cream, and I thought you might like this variant," Theresa explained. She placed a small chrome rod over the steaming hot cup of coffee, on which sat a small wad of white stuff that looked like cotton candy. "The heat from the coffee melts the finely spun sugar, which drips into your beverage."

"I love it," Mona breathed, fascinated. As an artist herself, she always appreciated creativity wherever she came across it. "I will never get tired of this, Theresa, I promise."

She served Janet and Lisa next, followed by Jordan, and then Mike and Karen. She set out the light snacks and then excused herself, leaving Val standing nearby to take care of anything else that came up.

"Theresa is an absolute wonder with food," Karen mentioned, sipping her tea now, Imperial Silver Needle. Mike was having black coffee. "You'll love her Cajun cuisine, but I believe tonight is pheasant..."

***

"Damn, I forgot tonight was pheasant," Alexa muttered, still watching through the hidden cams her sister, Mike, and Jordan were wearing.

"Y'want us to call McDonald's back and get them to add a ten-pack of chikky nuggies to our order for tonight?" Jeanie asked helpfully.

***

Grand Suite, the west wing...

Alex was smiling while he lay on the bed, arms behind his head and just staring at the ceiling. Normally, he would be on a video call with his wife, but she was paying attention to all the windows on her laptop, and he didn't want to distract her. So now he was on speakerphone to Jeanie; that way all three girls could hear him, while he had his earbuds in.

"Y'catching all the action here?" he asked, kicking one knee back and forth.

"We are," he heard his lovely wife say in her lyrical voice. Damn, how had he gotten so lucky? "It's hard to watch, in a sense, because it means I'm not there. And my eyeballs nearly fell outta my head from looking back and forth between the four screens so often. God, Alex, they're... they're really here, aren't they?"

"Yep, and you'll be meeting them soon enough," he assured her. "Mom and dad are just piling on the surprises. You saw how they reacted to Jordan."

"Oh, they love him and missed him so much," Alexa sighed, sniffling. "I don't blame them, I kinda cried too, didn't I?"

"Hey, life is just getting more and more complete, you're allowed to cry happily," Alex said. "Pieces are all fitting back together. The only missing bit will be me never meeting grandma, and you not remembering grandpa."

"I know," she said quietly. "But you adapted pretty easily your whole life, since you never expected to meet her. I was the same about dad, really. Mom loved him to the day she died."

"I don't doubt it," he said. "We get to carry on the legacy, best believe it."

"Lookit them all, laughing and bantering," Alexa sighed. "Like they've never been apart."

"Not really any different than you'n Fre, right?" he reasoned. "You two could be apart for ten years and you'd sync up instantly because you're soulmates."

"Holla," Jeanie called out. "They're all really pretty, Alex. You're so lucky to have them for aunties."

"And Aunt Li is barely taller than Freja, if at all," Alex chuckled. "Now there's three tiny people just a bit taller than that Nanu chick- Fre, Val, and Aunt Lisa."

"Maybe we should be formings a guild," he heard the Danish girl mutter.

"Dad just notified me, so I guess it's my time to shine," Alex said, sitting up as his watch buzzed at him. "I'll make sure my camera is active, so you'll see everything firsthand, probably including Aunt Janet groping me."

"That's the part I'm lookin' forward to the most, since Kar tells me all about it," Alexa giggled. "Go on, big man, go get your lovin'. I love you."

"Love you too, beautiful," he said cheerfully as he turned on his camera he was wearing. "Can you see through my unit?"

"We can see," all three girls replied.

"Then let's do this..." Alex said as he strode out of the room to go greet his aunts again.

He couldn't wait.

***

The Dunsany Lounge, down the hall toward the east wing...

"You remember Jakarta fondly?" Mike asked his wife with a note of disbelief. "Are you choosing to forget about the fake pregnancy, the cannibal bikers, or the Sumerian death cult?"

"The worst part was the taco truck," Karen admitted with a sigh, shaking her head while the girls were all in tears of laughter. Even Valentina was trying to arrest her mirth as she stood nearby, stifling her giggles with her hands.

"Oh my God, I'd forgotten all about you two in Jakarta," Mona wheezed, tears on her face from laughing. "The way you tried to downplay it, and then tried to distract me with the Wayang dolls you brought back for me."

"I've still got that rattan handbag you had made for me, and those batik clothes. They're never gonna wear out, and they're always gonna be in style," Janet added. "Nobody in Alberta dressed as well as me when I'm wearing those duds."

"I've still got the opal necklace and earrings you brought back from somewhere," Lisa mentioned, frowning as she tried to think of where they were. "Donna might've misplaced 'em in one of our house shuffles, but I can find 'em, I'm sure."

"If she was going to misplace anything, it should have been that damnable Furby you own," Karen said, smirking and sipping her mimosa, making Janet and Mona burst out laughing. "Hard to believe that thing is still alive after twenty years."

"I don't still have him... her... it, thank you," Lisa almost grumbled, scowling at her tea cup. "Furby finally died of the PTSD a certain Michael Elvis Charlemagne DeBourne gave it."

"I did no such thing, woman," Mike asserted, sitting next to his wife.

"You taught it to sing and dance whenever anyone yelled 'Crack!' at it," Lisa said rather accusingly, despite her friends still laughing. "Sounds pretty traumatizing to me."

"I didn't say that it didn't traumatize you, I just said it didn't harm your Furby. Big difference."

"Awww, I'll miss Crack Furby," Janet sighed before turning her head to look at Mona. "Crack!"

"Doo-doo-doo! Doo-doo-doo!" Mona chirped, wiggling back and forth, making jerky little gestures with her arms and crossing her eyes.

Everyone in the room was laughing heartily, even Jordan, while Lisa pulled her hands down her face in feigned frustration, muttering in Yiddish. Everyone was thrilled to be back and playing their part in the wonderful play that was their lives together. Tradition.

"I swear, husband, you are quite possibly the worst person to ever live," Karen chided, shaking her head in response to the insanity that always seemed to surround her.

"Hey, as long as he's leaving the door open for me to take over," quipped a young man's cheerful voice from the door way. Everyone looked over to see Alex casually leaning in the door frame, smiling at his aunts. "Pretty sure I remember you three."

Mona, Janet, and Lisa had instantly stood up and rushed over to the door, mobbing Alex and smothering him in kisses. He somehow managed to remain upright as he weathered the barrage. "It's good to see you all again too," he laughed. "Y'make it seem like you haven't seen me in a hundred years, it's only been five at the longest."

"Five years too long!" Lisa murmured between kisses on his cheek. "You've... got... no... business... making me wait all that time, young man!"

"Four years, sport," Mona agreed, kissing his other cheek. "Look at you! Last time I saw you, you'd just started high school. Now you're all grown up big and strong."

"You're right about the 'big' part, M," Janet purred, cupping her hand to the front of Alex's pants and pressing gently on his crotch while she leaned in and rubbed her nose against his. "Like father like son, seemingly."

"Quit molesting my son, you harlot," Karen called, rolling her eyes while everyone laughed. "I know I promised you that you could take his virginity and train him if he was a dud with women, but Fatima saw to that issue for us, remember?"

"Yes, bitterly," Janet sighed as the three women led him over to the seating area, Lisa and Mona each pulling him by a hand while Janet tugged him along by his belt. They resumed their seats while Alex waited politely, standing up. Janet looked at Karen and Mike as she pulled their son down to sit between her and Mona. "I mean, c'mon... how can you have a son that attractive and he's not spoken for?"

"Oh, I dunno if I'd say that," Alex mentioned rather smugly.

"Eeeee!" Lisa squealed, her hands over her mouth and her feet tippling against the floor excitedly. "You've got a girlfriend, Alex?! Is it serious?!"

"I like to think so," he said casually, just basking in getting hugged (and caressed) by his aunts. "I'm pretty taken with her, and I'm sure it's mutual."

Downtown...

Alexa giggled as she wiped a tear from her eye, watching this all go down. It was everything she'd been led to expect, and her heart was soaring and thrumming in her chest from all the emotions.

Freja hugged her friend, so very happy for her. She'd also heard about Mona, Janet, and Lisa, and to see them now was almost a dream. What fantastic days these were for them all.

"He's talkin' about you, right, Lexi?" Jeanie asked, watching the screen.

The Dunsany Lounge...

"So when do we get to meet her?" Mona asked eagerly, clasping Alex's hands with hers, which was almost ridiculous, since his hands were huge, so much bigger than hers.

"Tomorrow," he replied, nodding. "She's heard lots about you, and she can't wait to meet you all. She's kind of a regular feature here, so she knows to just show up when she can."

Janet looked at Karen now. "Is she worthy of our little boy?"

Karen smirked. "Frankly, if it weren't for my husband, and if she didn't have Alex, I am fairly certain I would be dating her, I love her to death."

This brought about peals of laughter, both in the lounge, and in the condo living room downtown.

"What's your your opinion of her, big man?" Mona quipped, winking at Mike. "She must be somethin' if the only standing in the way of Princess dating her is you."

"They're peas in a pod when it comes to getting in trouble," Mike assured them. "I'm rather fond of her too."

The three women babbled excitedly at Alex, trying to coax more details out of him about his mystery girl, but he stayed firm, assuring them that they would all meet her the following day. They asked him about his university courses and his social life, all three of them groaning when he mentioned his current Warhammer game.

"And this mystery girl of yours still thinks you're cool?" Janet chided before looking down at the crotch of his jeans, and the distinct bulge contained therein. "Must be the dick."

"And what's the thing on your shirt?" Lisa asked, tracing a finger over the white tee he was wearing with the weird black pattern on it. "What're those things called again?"

"It's a QR code, silly," Janet said, shaking her head. "I didn't know the Jewish faith had a Luddite community, but there you go."

Mona nodded. "You scan it with the camera of your cellphone, and it takes you to a website," she explained. "Y'know, like it shows you a restaurant's menu or something."

"Ooh, let's try it," Lisa said eagerly, taking Mona's cellphone off the table and activating the camera before the black woman could say anything. She pointed it at the QR code on Alex's shirt and then followed the prompt to go to the associated website.

Late eighties music immediately began playing loudly in the room and Lisa gaped in horror at what she had done, while Janet and Mona just rolled their eyes in exasperation.

"We're no strangers to love,

You know the rules, and so do I,

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of

You wouldn't get this from any other guy!

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling

Gotta make you understand,"

"Did I... did I just accidentally Rickroll us all?" she asked, looking around nervously. Even Jordan and Valentina were shaking their heads.

Downtown...

"Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you.

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!"

Alexa and Freja were both staring at Jeanie, looking unimpressed while her cellphone blared the song and the video at them, in addition to the laptop screen. Rickrolled in stereo.

"I... I didn't think my phone'd read the QR code through the computer screen," she said somewhat lamely, blushing.

"I ams hatings this song all over again..." Freja muttered, reaching for her beer.

Back at Rickroll Central...

"Thanks, Li, I've managed to avoid that song for a decade, and now it's gonna take me another ten years to get it out again," Janet grumbled while Lisa just handed the phone back to Mona.

"Well, the eighties was kinda your jam," Lisa offered, smiling wanly at the lawyer. "It still is, right?"

"Is there a way to file restraining orders against Lisa derps?" Mona queried, looking across Alex at her friend. Janet just shook her head.

"I have a suggestion," Karen announced, putting down her mimosa. "While you two get settled in, I'll bring Red downtown to go shopping and pick up a few things she'll need during her stay."

"Oh, I dunno, Kar," Lisa said, blushing a little. "I'm not good these days at having things bought for me, y'know? I had to really struggle to let you guys pay for the cab from the airport."

"Did you come with a very elegant ballgown packed in your duffle bags that you could wear to the main event?" Karen asked pointedly.

"I... well, no," Lisa admitted.

"Apropos clothing for any posh nights out at Barberian's, or other establishments with a dress code?"

"Does a plain cotton white blouse count?" the redhead asked.

"Janet, Mona," Karen called over to her other two friends, who were busy fawning over Alex, still sitting between them. "Did it occur to either of you that you would have to pay for a single thing while you were staying under the roof?"

"No," Mona answered, smirking and winking back at Karen while tracing a fingernail up and down her surrogate nephew's chest. "Why do you think I'm planning on staying as long as possible, girl?"

"There you have it, my dear," Karen said firmly, nodding at Lisa. "You pay for nothing. And since your sartorial circumstances warrant immediate remedy, I will be taking you downtown. Glenda will drive us in the Maybach."

"Well, okay," Lisa sighed, conceding. "But... I should really call Donna first, let her know I'm here. I wasn't really able to get any reliable signal with this junky old phone before now."

"Go do what you need to do, darling," Karen said, nodding. "I have no doubt she's needing to hear from you, and make sure you arrived safely."

Lisa excused herself while Mike and Karen continued to watch in amusement as Janet and Mona did their best to wheedle more details out of Alex about his mystery girlfriend.