Mike & Savy Ch. 08

When Josh and I went outside to head to the reception, I could see them posing for pictures under a tree near the chapel, with the campus in the background. I'd have to make it a point to ask to see their pictures next time I saw them.

At the reception hall, at a historic inn nearby, Josh and I walked in together. The settings were incredible, mostly in silvers and golds, but with little flashes of red that some might mistake for the color of love, but those of us who were Terrapins knew was an homage to our university. Josh and I found our seats with only two family tables between us and the wedding party's long table in the front of the room.

After the hall was filled, Mike stepped to the front of the room and announced Jeff and Mia, who entered to a standing ovation. Dinner was very good, though I couldn't help catching glimpses of Mike as he was almost constantly moving, bringing things to Jeff and Mia or walking around with them as they spoke with various family members. I was impressed with how he was doting on them.

Of course the wedding had many traditional activities. There was much clinking of spoons on glasses, to which Jeff and Mia were all too happy to answer with kisses. After dinner was cleared, we all watched with many ooh's and aah's as Jeff and Mia floated across the dance floor. Eventually the floor was opened for everyone.

Josh took my hand and smiled. I'm not much of a dancer, but I'd do my best for him. Again I felt that pleasant shiver as he gently rested his hand on the small of my bare back and guided me to the floor. I was soon in his arms and while I wouldn't have knocked anyone's socks off, I had enough musical ability to move in time with the music for slow songs.

We took a break from dancing when the cake was cut and served. I give all credit to Jeff for delicately feeding just a small piece of cake to Mia, who returned the favor with a dollop of frosting on his nose. Soon, Josh was pulling me back to the dance floor and I easily slid into his arms again.

We took a break when the dance floor was cleared and I saw Mike standing up in front of the wedding party's table with a microphone.

"I am just so tremendously honored that Jeff and Mia asked me to be a part of their wedding. They have been such an incredibly important part of my life.

"I met Jeff in my very first class at Maryland, Physics 102. We beat our heads against that stuff until somehow the right answers got knocked out and onto paper. We probably would've made it through even if we'd never met, but it sure as hell wouldn't have been as much fun.

"And then one day, we're sitting in the North Campus dining hall. I'm shoveling food into my mouth like I'd just been on a starvation diet and I look up to see Jeff just sitting there, his mouth hanging half-open, and his eyes tracking something without his head moving an inch. I look up and see that he's watching a girl walk across the dining hall. He lost track of her and didn't see her again that night.

"Next thing I know, Jeff's dragging me back to North Campus the next night, despite South Campus being so much closer. And then the next night. And the next night. And finally, much to my relief, he sees her again. Now, I thought he was absolutely off his rocker because I'm the shy type, but as soon as she walks in, he gets up and walks right up to her and within two minutes, he's sitting next to me again with a stunned look on his face. I figure he's been shot down in a blazing ball of glory, but he sets his hand on the table and he's got a scrap of paper with her name and phone number.

"A couple of days later, he gets all dressed up and goes out on their date. To this day, I have no idea what happened on that date..."

Everyone chuckled at that and Mia covered her mouth, blushing.

"... but when he came back, I looked at him and asked, 'Yeah?' All he said back was, 'Yeah.' He knew and I knew. That was it.

"They've been with each other every day since. Through every single struggle, they've brought each other joy and through every joy they've shared, they've been completely enveloped in each other's love. After that very first date, I didn't have my best friend Jeff anymore... I had my best friends, Jeff and Mia, together as one. I wouldn't want it any other way.

"This is the next chapter in your life and it was always meant to be. I don't even know how to tell you how important you both are to me. You're are an inspiration to me... and I love you."

I was crying and I didn't even realize it until Josh gently wiped my face with his napkin. I watched as Mike moved around the table and gave Mia a hug and a kiss, then Jeff wrapped his arms around Mike.

I tried to make eye contact with Mike during Mia's maid of honor's speech, but he never looked in my direction. After the music started again, Josh wanted to dance, but I asked him for a short break. I stepped out and went to the restroom. When I came back, Josh was sitting alone at our table.

As I made my way over to him to get back on the dance floor, I saw Mike dancing with a tall and beautiful girl. The fast song that had been on when I entered the room ended and a slow song came one. Mike smiled at her and started to head back to the main table, but she held his arm and then was resting her head on his shoulder as they danced.

I finally made it back to Josh and he held out his hand for me. We moved to the dance floor and he wrapped his arms around me while I pressed my cheek against his chest. Out of the corner of my eye and through the various couples dancing, I caught glimpses of Mike.

We danced for a long time, until my heels were starting to hurt my feet. As the evening started to wind down, Josh asked if I was ready to go home. I said I just wanted to say goodbye to a friend and I'd meet him outside. He smiled at me and stepped out into the warm evening.

Mike was slumped in a chair, holding his head in his hands. He looked completely exhausted.

"Mike."

He didn't respond. I took a step closer and was right in front of him.

"Mike."

He looked up at me, his normally bright blue and green eyes looking darker to me.

"You did a good job today."

He didn't just look physically exhausted, he looked mentally drained. I wanted to give him a hug, but I reached out and wrapped my fingers around his arm instead.

"You're a great friend."

I turned and when I stepped outside, Josh was there. I smiled and we walked to the car, my hand in his.

__________

Quickly, it was time to get very serious about school again. The fall semester started and I would be giving another concert in September, which meant putting my practice into high gear. When we weren't in class, Josh and I spent hours upon hours practicing with our ensemble group and the new pianist. It was difficult work getting everyone on the same page and piecing the music together for everyone.

Still, I loved it.

It was creativity at work and I was sharing it with Josh. Whenever I got frustrated at some transition that I wanted to work a certain way, but the group just couldn't match, he'd stop and just grin at me until I couldn't help but smile.

After the hardest days, we'd walk quietly back to my apartment, often long after it had turned dark. We'd climb into bed and he'd hold me while I breathed and let the stress melt out of my body. Other days, I'd need more and pull him to me, nearly holding my breath until he was inside me and his body was pressed against mine.

I tried hard not to forget Maria. I think she understood why, even though we lived together, we didn't see as much of each other as we used to. She never failed to greet me with a smile and cheer when I got home and no matter what, I made sure that we ate lunch together on campus at least one day a week and had dinner together on weekends.

I thought about Mike every day. I would walk past a certain place on campus that would remind me of him or I'd catch the end of the Orioles game and think of him. I hadn't forgiven myself for that first night when he came back and every memory of him came with a knot in my stomach. Sometimes I would sit and try to find the words that I could say to him, but I just couldn't put them together. I hoped that being back at NASA was making him happy... and that he was enjoying his life beyond work.

The day before the concert, Josh refused to let me play. He told me to simply relax. We walked around campus and ate lunch sitting with our backs pressed against the Testudo in front of the library. We spent the afternoon just watching people enjoy the wonderful late summer weather.

On the day of the concert, we walked hand in hand to the performing arts center, where I retired to prepare myself in private. I took my time as I slid into my dress and did my makeup. I was more apprehensive than before my first performance. I would be working with a full group and now there were... expectations. No matter how many times I had met or even exceeded expectations in the past, they still frightened me a bit.

I stepped into the hallway and Max was there smiling at me. When I reached the door to the stage, I stopped and said my personal little prayer, thanking my violin for all it had done for me.

And then I was playing. As soon as my bow crossed my violin's strings for the first note, all of the apprehension was gone. I was right where I belonged until the final note.

After exiting the stage, Josh was waiting for me with a hug and I threw myself into his arms. The rush of the performance still coursing through me. He squeezed me tight.

"I love you, Savannah."

"I love you, too."

Josh let me go and I found Max, who was always working so hard for me and had gathered a few donors to the music school for a private meeting. I made my way around, mingling as Max had taught me, and graciously thanking them for supporting the school.

After a few minutes, I walked with Max to the reception. I stopped in the hallway outside the room and he went in before me. After a moment, I followed.

Inside, I was met with applause and cheers. I was overcome by their reaction and thrilled that I had been able to earn their praise. I said the only thing I could,

"Thank you!"

More than anything though, I wanted to find mom and Josh and thank them for their support. Max knew and he gave me a small nod in their direction. I turned and saw Josh standing next to mom and then... Mike.

He had come to see me. He had seen me play. My heart skipped a beat at the thought.

I walked over to them and hugged mom, thanking her for coming and for everything she did for me. Then Josh wrapped his arms around me and I hugged him back. When he let me go, I looked at Mike.

I moved to him and put my hands on his arms and squeezed him. I felt his hands briefly rest on my hips before I pulled away.

I wanted to sit with all of them, but I had duties to handle first. I went back to Max and we walked around the room, meeting all of the guests that I hadn't previously met backstage.

I was still mingling when I saw Mike get up from the table and hug mom, then head for the door. I whispered to Max that I needed a moment and I walked quickly to the door. When I got outside, Mike was almost to the end of the hallway already.

I took off scampering after him. He stopped and faced me.

I was face to face with him. I was overcome with emotion that he had come and seen me. I was surprised at how important it was to me that he had watched me play. I stared into his eyes.

"You came."

He looked down at the floor and looked almost sad.

When he looked back up at me, he almost whispered, "You were... magnificent."

He liked my performance. I pulled my hair behind my ear. I wanted to tell him how much it meant to me that he was there, but all I could say was,

"Thanks for being here."

I turned and went back to the reception. My brain was racing a mile a minute. I hoped he had forgiven me. I wanted to apologize to him. I just... when I was near him, I was still tongue-tied. It had been so long since we had actually spoken.

He was still watching me when I went through the door, losing sight of him. Back inside, I went to mom and she took my hand, squeezing it.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm glad he came."

"I am, too."

I spent the rest of the evening thinking about Mike as I moved about. I wish he could have stayed longer. I wish we could have sat down and talked, even if it wasn't the conversation we needed to have, I wanted to just hear us talk again, not in anger or sorrow. Just be as we used to.

That night, Josh didn't stay over, as mom was staying with Maria and I.

__________

The weeks after the concert were much more relaxed. I immediately started preparing for my next performance, but that was still a month away and I'd be playing classical pieces that I already knew, albeit with the full University of Maryland orchestra.

I was able to spend some time focusing a bit more on my biology coursework now, which as much as I loved music, was a welcome change of pace that fulfilled a different side of my intellectual needs.

I also tried to make sure that I was spending more time with Maria. After classes and practices, Josh and I would go back to the apartment and sit in the living room with her talking and watching movies. I had missed spending time with her. I asked Josh if he would mind if I had one night a week for it to just be Maria and me. Of course, he's a sweetheart and he had no problem with it.

I thought often about Mike, when I saw him standing behind mom and Josh at the reception. I felt like there was a door that had opened and maybe, just maybe, we could be back in each other's lives.

One night, I was sitting at my computer studying and a thought occurred to me. I checked my instant messenger. I had removed Mike from my list when he moved to Spain. I added him back and he was online.

Walk through the door, Savy.

I typed in a message. "Hey."

A few minutes later, he responded. "Hi."

I'd peaked through the door, but now I didn't know what to say.

"Are you watching the game?" Dammit, Savannah.

He answered, "Yeah."

Tell him what you want to say.

"Thanks again for coming to my performance."

"You really were incredible." I could almost hear his soft voice saying the words.

"Thanks."

"Is it okay if I come to your next one?"

Of course! Please! I wanted him to be at all of my performances now.

"I hope you do."

My hands weren't on the keyboard anymore, they were covering my mouth. I wanted to cry. He wanted to be back in my life.

I heard a knock on the door and knew it was Josh.

I quickly typed to Mike, "Well... I've gotta go."

He answered, "Okay. I'll talk to you soon." The door was wide open now.

"Yeah. Good night."

I logged off and went to let Josh in. He greeted me with a kiss and dropped his bag inside the door.

"Hey, I didn't have time to stop at my dorm before I came over. Do you mind if I take a shower?"

"No, go ahead."

Josh picked up his bag and went to the bathroom while I sat on the sofa and watched the end of the O's game.

I was so excited, but also mad at myself. I wondered how much time I had wasted, waiting to say something to Mike. Of course it had to be me. After how I had treated him, he wouldn't be the one to reestablish contact.

When Josh got out of the shower, we went straight to sleep.

The next night, I must have been distracted. We were sitting in the living room after Maria had gone to bed.

Josh looked at me and asked, "Is something wrong?"

"What?"

"You just seem a little... off the past few days."

"Oh, it's nothing."

"Something's bothering you, you can tell me. If I've done anything to upset you..."

I sighed. "No, no. It's not you. It's just... when my brother left for Spain, we weren't... on the best terms. Now he's back and it's... awkward trying to rebuild that relationship."

"Oh. Well, I mean, family can be tough to deal with sometimes. You can choose your friends, but not your family, and all that. How come you two didn't get along?"

"Um... just brother and sister stuff, I guess."

Not exactly.

Josh went on, "A lot of time has passed and maybe some of the things that you two didn't get along about have changed. It might be worth seeing if things are better between you two."

He was so sweet. I hated that I couldn't tell him about all of it, but how could I? How do you even start that conversation?

"We'll see," is all I said.

Over the next few weeks, Mike and I started talking more regularly. Our conversations were casual, not like when he was in college and I was in high school, but I was so happy that we were getting back some of that relationship. Eventually, we moved on from random things and started talking more about our lives. He was happy being back at NASA and the work agreed with him. He asked me about both my biology classes and my music classes.

Despite how good I felt about us restoring contact, I was concerned that any time I asked about his life outside of work, he was very vague and noncommittal in his answers. I didn't know if he was living a life outside of his job. I wanted him to. I wanted him to find peace and have joy in his life.

On the night of my performance with the university orchestra, I didn't get to see anyone before the concert. I would only be joining the orchestra for the second half, but when I stepped on to the stage, I looked down and saw Josh, mom, and Mike sitting in the front row. I made eye contact with each of them and they smiled back at me. They were the three most important people in my life. I was even able to find Maria and Amy sitting next to each other a few rows back along the side.

A real test for us came when Jeff and Mia invited Josh and I to their Halloween party. Mike had been polite with Josh the few times they had met at my performances, but this would be an entirely different setting. At least, it felt that way to me.

The evening turned out fairly well. Josh and I had a good time, meeting various new people since we knew so few of Jeff and Mia's friends. That was an area where Josh had been a good influence on me. I'd always been rather shy around new people, but when he was with me, it was easier to come out of my shell more. I didn't get to talk with Mike too much during the party, but when we did, he seemed more relaxed.

When Josh and I got home after the party, we were laying in bed together and I asked, "Would you come to Thanksgiving with my family this year?"

His eyes immediately lit up. "I'd love to."

The next day, I called mom and checked to make sure it would be okay that I had invited Josh to Thanksgiving. She was thrilled that I had and said it would be no problem. The only caveat she had was that he couldn't stay in my bedroom.

It's not that she wanted to be old fashioned, somewhat awkwardly admitting that she knows I'm a grown woman now and have my own apartment, but she didn't want to make things more uncomfortable for Mike. I told her that I completely understood and she said that if he came for next year's holiday, things would probably be different.

Mike and I continued our conversations and I felt much less trepidation about us messaging each other. Things were moving along and it just seemed... natural.

On the Monday before Thanksgiving, I asked him when he'd be driving down to Salisbury and he said he'd be getting there on Wednesday night. He added, "I'll see you and Josh there." I had been planning on saying something, but mom had told him. I didn't get the chance to respond before he logged off.

Josh and I spent Wednesday night together, packing some things. He was in an exceptionally good mood. I was, too. I was excited about bringing him home. Sure, he'd met my family, but now he was going to see where I was from. That was a new step for us.