All Comments on 'Mike & Savy Ch. 10'

Loved it as always and as expected much of the chapter was redundant to chapter 9 but it was good to see what Savy was feeling and thinking. The only other thing I can say is when can we read chapter. 11? I can't wait to see how Savy deals with Mom and Josh. I just know this is a harebrained scheme with mom trying to get Savy and Josh back together after Savy had made it clear that's not what she wanted. I can't help it I just can't see the Mom as anything except for the villian maybe as the story progresses I will see her in a different light.

I was just checking last night when we could expect this. It's good to see it. They are becoming more likeable as they grow, but they're not there yet, in my opinion.

Mom doesn't strike me as a villain, just a confused woman coping with the unexpected and forbidden. GT

while i like to get both sides of a story i cant help but think if you did all of his then went back and did all of hers it might flow better

I actually enjoy the chapters being told from the perspective of each of the lead characters. It gives great understanding and appreciation for their deep and intense feelings, as well as their reactions to the circumstances and to each other. Please don't be discouraged by the critics. They always have the choice to not read your work!

Even though this narrative is found on an erotic story website, it is, at it's core, a fascinating love story. You are the one driving this, and it will go where you (and the story) take us. However, I am really hoping that, at the conclusion, Savy and Mike are together and happily looking forward to their lives together. I give the story, and this chapter, 5 stars!

With the first few chapters I thought the different perspectives held no value but as it has went on I've seen that it does. If we only got mike's or Savy's perspective we would only be getting half the story especially when they we're apart. So I do understand why some of the readers may no like the style but I personally have come to enjoy seeing if from both perspectives although it does get me a but anxious for the next part. I like the way the story is being done but if you were to change it you could do both Savy's and Mike's story in one chapter switching perspectives as needed. That might make some of the critics happier but I also think it would take longer to write said chapters.

'Had a little trouble getting into Savy's POV after such a long break since Mike's tale, but it was well worthwhile once I did. Please try to shorten the pause from M to S. 'Easier to handle when the memory is fresh. Found it fascinating when I did, though. I hope Mike and Josh won't go at it like tom-cats, though mom might screech a little. LOL!

This filled in many of the gaps from just Mike's point of view-thank you. I'm worried that Savy seems to be over reacting in the other direction now, maybe building a house of cards that won't stand up to pressure.

Well we knew Chapter 11 was going to be it resolving mom pressure and Josh pressure, one way or the other.

Here's hoping.

BTW craftsmanship of the love scenes and of descriptions of feelings is extremely good. Keep going!

I do like the way you give each others point of view.Savy does need to talk to Josh and has to explain how this happened and how she has to move on,no matter what,it is unfortunate for Josh,especially,as she was the first woman he had sex with,that he also has to move on because even if he and Savy did get together again,Savy would not truly be happy and fulfilled and it would not be fair to him and only more heartache for them both.Mike and Savy's mom is probably behind Josh being at the concert,she obviously is concerned for Mike and Savy and may suspect that they are back together so she brings Josh into try and see if Savy will take him back.Cannot wait for the next chapter,it has to finally resolve what will be,hopefully,I am rooting for Mike & Savy to be a couple once and for all and secure their future together,and mom,while certainly not a villain,will see that Mike and Savy are meant for each other and she will be happy for them.Who knows? Maybe Josh ends up with mom,an older woman who needs a horny young buck to satisfy her womanly lust and his as well. Great job,don't torture us readers and get to the next chapter.

I gave you a 5 star vote.

A wonderful story so far, and I can't wait for #11. You have a gift, you know.

for a joint perspective wrap-up. one that ends the perpetual meandering and indecisiveness. one that lets the world (read that MOM) know that they are a permanent couple ready to face their future. Josh? who cares, he is a bit player in the lives of the title characters, no more, no less than Ana.

How about Mike taking a job with the European Space program? Savy finishes her degree at an institute of world renown such as the Sorbonne, and Mike and Savy live happily ever after with no more drama?!?!?

please!

- .

The author's constant re-telling and re-purposing of the narrative is a clumsy and cumbersome plot device that adds nothing to the narrative, and has bloated this story far beyond its natural limits. We're at chapter 10 and there's still no natural resolution to this story, nor is there likely to be one soon, as the author seems to be making this up on the fly, spinning it out in perspective changes whenever he runs out of inspiration. All the characters are still writhing around indecisively 10 chapters down the line, and the constant false endings are not helping. What should have been a fairly straightforward 4-part boy meets girl, loses girl, meets girl again, his partner, her partner drop out of the narrative, the end, has become this needlessly convoluted yarn of pointless intrigue. I tried to keep my level of interest going, and was even sympathetic toward Savy, and slightly contemptuous of Mike for being such a passive doormat, now he appears the characterful one, Josh and the mother come across as devious, manipulative, and just plain sneaky, and Savy needs to be shown the door, maybe with a boot in the backside to help her on her way; maybe that'll train her to concentrate on what's real. End this painful essay, it's already long past its sell-by date.

This was never meant to be a straightforward story. There are literally hundreds of stories here at Literotica that are straightforward and written by authors with far more talent than I have. I chose to write a story that attempted to show the complexities of love and emotions.

The "false endings" and alternating points of view are indeed plot devices, none of which are my own invention, as they have been used by countless other writers in television, movies, theater, and literature for as long as writing has existed. I'm future stories, I'm sure that I'll use other plot devices to examine my characters.

As it is, Chapter 11 has been approved and posts tomorrow. I hope that those of you who enjoy the story are pleased with the course it takes, as I had more fun writing it than any other chapter so far. I'm sure the rest of you who find my work painful will bypass future chapters and explore a number of other excellent authors here that will satisfy your needs.

I just want to say to the author, Thank you! This whole story has been wonderfully written and I feel all the emotions as the characters feel them, I do hope you continue writing once this comes to an end, you truly have a gift for story telling!