Mikki 02

Mikki 02

I mean, Jacob from the last chapter was just a, um, an interruption to my evening plans. I mean, an interruption that came to me easier than I ever expected it to, but when you've swallowed Oysters before, I mean, LOL, it just turned out to be an interruption then. I still kept my evening plans to go hang out at Ironsides and make a few new friends. Or get punched out for being a dresser.

Oh, Ironsides is just old river barge or boat that is wrecked and upside down in the mud on the river bank and people hang out on it for some stupid rusty reason.

"Well, what's all this then, hmm? Are you a buttercup or a sugar plumb then?"

"Oh, I'm a Mikki and I'm just trying out a few things, that's all, so."

"Alright, well, I'm Carmen, so, just to make things clear, I mean, we're saying that I have some things that you don't have and then you have some stuff that I don't have then, Mikki?"

"I mean, even at it's best or worst, it still automatically makes us best friends then, Carmen, so."

"Hmmm, I mean, my best friend might gift me a jacket similar to the one you're wearing right now like within a month or so then. And I don't want the jacket off of your back because I can see that you're concealing a weapon anyways, Mikki, even though there just aren't any electrical plugs down here on Ironsides to plug in a hot glue gun, so."

[Swish, hot glue gun goes flying backwards. For the last time]

"Anyways, Carmen, as automatic best friends, I'm invoking the standard and moral conventional social protocol and hereby considering you as my muscle, if I need muscle while I mingle on Ironsides, so?"

"Alright, Mikki and I hereby invoke the social protocol clause that says you must mingle in middle where I can keep an eye on you then. Too much to left and someone will want you to put your buttercup lips to work and too much to right and someone's muscle will find your sugar plumb, so?"

Ewe! WTF? People actually spit on their hands to shake on it then? Ewe!

"Well, are my feet going to damp then, Carmen?"

"Duh! Ironsides is a wrecked sunken river barge! Stay in the middle, Mikki."

[Walks towards rusted out Ironsides and tries to figure out how to wipe off his split hand shake hand]

Oh, oh, hell no, not on the Capri jeans that I was wearing that night, so screw off bracket narrator!

[Ewe, wipes hand on rusty rail]

"I'm pretty sure that high tops have rubber soles, so tippy toes aren't exactly required, but what is required is that we exchange numbers, so?"

"Oh, um, I was just practicing a dance routine, um, I'm Mikki and I'm supposed to wait up to one minute before I exchange numbers, so."

"What? What the hell for then?"

[Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whack, river drift wood to the side of the head]

I mean, Carmen said that she played Center Field in softball before she became a bank robber, I mean, a social worker, so her aim with a piece of driftwood was spot on. LOL, and right on time, so.

But I was still in the middle area of Ironsides.

"Hey, hey, we know each other then. I'm Leo. We met, um, we met, oh, we met at Jarrod's place! Like what? Over a year ago. And if you don't at least nod your head and acknowledge all this, well, I'm going to (faint), which I can't say out loud in the middle of the rust crew, so, say something then!"

I mean, I had to wait the one minute, right?

"(Five, four, three, two, one, no whooshing driftwood), Leo, of course, I remember you, Leo. I mean, I know it was awkward and it was during my "outer space" hair phase and yea, my eye scheme seemed to be from Mars too, but I do remember you, Leo. Um, it's Mikki now on the weekends. Just a little play on some letters, so."

"Alright then, Mikki, I mean, maybe things were a little awkward, but maybe I think there was unfinished business between us too, so, um, care to stroll around the sunken barge to the left then?"

[Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, elbow snap! Quick back hand extension and snatch catch]

"What was that, Mikki? A UFO or something? Something just went all Ninja behind you!"

[Clunk, driftwood hits the rusty deck]

"You were saying that we should discuss any and all of those open issues to the left then, Leo, right? And while we walk, I mean, if I'm a tad over dressed for Ironsides, you should be honest with me about that, so [sneak attack cheek plant]."

"Ooh, um, you might be tad clean and crisp for Ironsides, Mikki, but compared to the train wreck look of a year ago, I mean, right?"

[Extends right arm with locked elbow high in the air just behind back and gives a five finger count down]

And the bracket narrator rocks!

[Five, four, three, two, one, throw]

[Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whack, river drift wood to the side of the head]

"Ouch! Oh, oh, I'm going down, Mikki, I'm going down."

[Plop, LOL, human dead weight plop, kneels to check breathing and not that other thing]

"[Mwah], if you can hear me, Leo, call me when you come around, Leo [mwah]."

"Ow, oh, mommy, ow, gaga, mommy, ow, mommy, ooh."

I mean, he was breathing alright. And apparently, he had mommy issues, but his eyes were only half rolled back into his head, so he was alright.

"Here, let me help you up then. Leo will be fine. Besides, deep down, Leo has mommy issues, so."

"Oh, um, whoa, um, ooh, the shirtless under jacket look suits you then, um?"

"Todd, your escort for the evening then, so?"

"I mean, I could rub some rust from the hull on my jeans to match in with the dress code, Todd. Also, please don't ask me to do that, so. I'm Mikki."

"I like you, Mikki. I mean, where do you live then, Mikki?"

"[Gulp] 33.9920292, -79.211464 on the left [gulp], so."

"Huh, outer space then. Anyways, I like the way your jeans fit too, so what's the 4th fantasy on your list then, Mikki?"

"[Gulp]. To have someone gently surprise me in bed by entering the correct PIN in my electronic door lock on my bedroom while I peacefully sleep, Todd [gulp], so?"

"Hm-hmm. And what might your bedroom door PIN be then, Mikki?"

"[Gulp, gulp, gulp] 1723TRE3632XAT529HBA28262NB71ZZ1873YYY1029, then #, so?"

"Oh, oh snap, I meant what's the 3rd fantasy on your list then, Mikki, hm-mmm?"

"[Swallow hard, gulp] To have someone at my house who has had a little too much to drink and they need a ride home and all I slip on is a t-shirt and my electric blue tights without any cover shorts and then we need to stop at the convenience store and I cause a ruckus in the store because tights don't hide anything, [gulp], so. Also, I just now updated that fantasy from green tights to electric blue tights to match your eyes, [swallow] and my ruckus isn't all that, so."

"Oh, so Mikki, then you're proud of your little body [squeeze, squeeze, smack], right?"

"[Gulp] It's acceptable social protocol that the human body is a determining factor during a mutual exchange between two people in a common social setting, just as long as it's not number..."

[Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whack, skims off side of ear]

"What was that? Did a UFO just go all Ninja on you, Mikki?"

"[Ouch] Physical attraction is normal, Todd, but I only know so much stuff. And Mother Nature did most of the work, but I'm happy with what I have and I'm not afraid of being me. I mean, I'm a little afraid to be on this sunken rust bucket of a boat right now, but [gulp] I'm glad I came here tonight, so?"

"Oh, I mean, I'll be sure send Mother Nature a Mother's Day card then. I mean, can we stroll to the left then, Mikki? Hello? Are you mouth counting or something?"

"[Five, four, three, two, one, zero??] Of course, Todd, we can stroll to left of this fricking upside down rusted out piece of metal. Lead the way."

Anyways, before you judge me for snuggling up with Jacob earlier in the evening and then following that up a few hours later by snuggling up with Todd on Ironsides, I mean, LOL, judge the hell out of me! But that was a one-time deal, so call me some time maybe and you know, invite me to your favorite spot that isn't turned upside down and sticking half out into the river, alright?

End Mikki 02