All Comments on 'Milk and Magic Ch. 02'

Your prose and imagery are solid, but the strength of erotica lies in the reader becoming invested in the characters before the fucking starts. Having your protagonist bed a series of clients we've never met before isn't very compelling. Each of these sessions could have been an individual chapter with time spent getting to know each client, their histories, likes and dislikes, fetishes, etc... That would also allow us to get a better sense of our lead character, her true nature, and her abilities.

Speaking of which, this chapter is devoid of the titular magic. Even if your intent was to write "a day in the life" chapter where the clients being served are unimportant, none of these encounters do much to characterize our lead outside of the fact that she enjoys sex and has a nurturing, motherly persona. Each client could have revealed a new aspect of her character or magical abilities. This story is conceptually sound, but it needs character development.