Mindgames Ch. 15

Mariah spooned the gruel into her bowl. She had never given it a thought, but of course Rose made her bed every day. Unless Master Gabriel did it.

"Why did Master Animal send Raul away yesterday?" Mistress Tabitha asked. Mariah, surprised by the abrupt change of subject, looked blankly at Mistress Tabitha. "Did Rose mention nothing?"

Mariah thought back to the previous evening. Rose and Master Gabriel had been excited about the cookbook, and Master Animal had been out of sorts. But Mariah had spent the evening poring over the map book, as she often did. How many slaves knew that the mansion was not in the center of Riviera? It was only a few hours ride from the mansion to Holden's Gate, which was at the northeastern edge of the country. But Powell's Gate, in the southwest, would easily be four day's ride as the crow flies.

Mistress Tabitha hissed impatiently. Mariah forced herself to bring her attention to her. "No, Mistress," she said. "Rose didn't say anything to me about that."

Mistress Tabitha sighed. "No matter. I'd best keep him away from this suite for the time being." In another change of subject she said, "I spoke with your Master Cassender the other night."

Mariah almost slammed her bowl down on the counter. Some of the gruel spilled over the side. Mistress Tabitha observed her as she found a rag and cleaned up the mess. When she had rinsed off the cloth and hung it up, she had no choice but to look at the mistress.

"He said he admired you," Mistress Tabitha said. "That you surprised him, and that doesn't happen very often."

Mariah's heart hammered. She felt queasy. She had not allowed herself to think of Master Cassender since she escaped from him and found her way through the wall.

"He's a good man," Mistress Tabitha continued. "We've known each other our whole lives. He's no pansy, but he's sensible and not cruel."

Mariah stared at her gruel.

"I have to wonder, if you can so thoroughly fool a man who knows what he's about, what are you keeping from a man who's a stranger, who has no knowledge of our ways?"

It took Mariah a moment to realize that Mistress Tabitha meant Master Gabriel. Nothing, she thought to herself. I keep nothing from him. I couldn't if I tried. That's the mindgame.

She was saved from responding by the door opening and Master Gabriel himself walking in. He greeted Mistress Tabitha was some surprise. She nodded acknowledgement and turned back to Mariah. "You may tell Rose," she said, "that the apartment has passed inspection."

Mariah remembers

When Mariah was clearing the dishes the next day, Mistress Ilse remarked that she had done a good job preparing the meal. "Thank you, Mistress," Mariah said, but her back was turned and she felt safe scowling, forgetting that her face was visible in the decorative mirror on the wall.

Mistress Ilse laughed and Mariah turned to her. "I should send you to the theater master," Mistress Ilse said, "the way you pretend to be all dark and forbidding."

"Yes, Mistress," Mariah muttered, looking down. She wanted her darkness to be an act, but if it was, she did not want anyone, certainly not any human, to know it.

Then Mistress Ilse was at her side, forcing Mariah to look at her. "I see light behind the darkness," her mistress said softly. She kissed Mariah on the cheek and then stood back.

Mariah blushed and her knees wobbled. She felt hot and cold at the same time. She was terrified and ecstatic. She had been seen. She was known. Her heart was lost.

Present day

Rose was startled by Master Animal's voice. "Breakfast ready?" he asked querulously.

Rose hurried from the kitchen and fell to her knees before him. "No, master," she said, and her voice trembled.

"What? Why not?" Master Animal asked. He sounded astonished.

Rose sniffled, and lowered her forehead to the ground. "I'm sorry, Master," she said.

"Stand up," Animal ordered her, "And stop crying. Why didn't you make my breakfast?"

Rose stood up, but she couldn't stop the tears. "I tried, Master," she said, as she followed him to the kitchen. It was a mess, with dirty pans on the stove and in the sink, and strawberry hulls on the cutting board.

"What's this?" Master Animal asked.

"I'm sorry, Master," Rose said again. "I tried to . . ." She couldn't keep the frustration out of her voice.

He seemed to understand. "You tried to make something out of Gabriel's cookbook?"

Rose nodded. "It didn't work," she almost wailed. "I wanted to make something special for you. Creeps, Master Gabriel called them. I don't know what went wrong. But they wouldn't set and I kept trying to fix them and . . . I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," Master Animal said. He looked at the mess. To Rose's relief he nodded tolerantly. "Learning a new art form is rarely neat," he said. "This is why you left my bed?"

Rose nodded.

"Was it worth it?"

Rose was surprised that he would tease her. But his face was curious.

She turned to the kitchen, and back to her master, and thought for a moment, and wiped her eyes, and nodded. "I think I used too much milk," she said. "I couldn't remember . . . Next time . . ." she caught herself. "If you'll let me try again sometime . . . Not today, I mean . . ." She faltered.

Master Animal shrugged. "If you like," he said diffidently. His face changed suddenly and he looked at shoulder. "Did you cut yourself?" he demanded.

Rose twisted so she could see what he saw. "No, Master," Rose said. "It's strawberry sauce."

"Really?" Master Animal said as he pulled her towards him. "Then I guess I get my breakfast after all." He licked the sauce off.

With the smallest of sighs for the filthy kitchen and her own exhaustion, Rose followed him back to bed.

Mariah remembers

For a while Mariah tried to repeat that moment with Mistress Ilse, when she had felt that her mistress was reading her soul. When she fell asleep at night she thought of her mistress telling her, "I see light behind the darkness," and she carried on imaginary conversations with her, revealing herself bit by bit.

In Mariah's daydreams Mistress Ilse revealed herself in turn to Mariah. But there were blanks about her that Mariah could not fill. From observing her in unguarded moments Mariah had come to understand that her cheerfulness was something that she put on like clothes each morning. Mariah could not fathom the reason. But she wanted to. She wanted to ask her. Mistress Ilse gave her no opening, and never again looked at Mariah as if there was any closeness between them.

One morning Mistress Ilse walked in on Master Dell and Mariah fucking in her living room. It was not the first time, and Mariah, although she felt some physical pleasure, found the act entirely uninteresting.

Mistress Ilse, however, grew quite somber as she watched them. Dell invited her to join in and she merely shook her head.

Master Dell rushed through the act and left Mariah unsatisfied. Pulling up his pants, he said to Mistress Ilse, "Still up for fishing today?"

She nodded but did not smile. Turning to Mariah, she said, expressionless, "I expect the apartment to be spotless when I return."

And Mariah knew, with a thud in her stomach, that her service with Mistress Ilse was over.