All Comments on 'Mindy and Daddy'

Ah, what a teaser! ;) This DEFINITELY needs a sequel, especially one where Mindy gets pregnant with her dad's baby!

Make her pregnant too.

It’s a trope. Try something new.

Fantastic story! One of the best I’ve read in a while.

Let’s hope he knocks he up properly!

If you don't know whether or not to continue your own story, don't bother.

Don't listen to the sterility police.

Give Mindy the baby bump she deserves!

Maybe not the first time, but sooner or later. Let the tension build. Give her a few episodes of going on dates, etc, let her go to school dripping his cum, maybe in a few months, she's pregnant.

the foundational building blocks of storytelling. Telling someone not to use a particular plot point because "it's a trope" is absolutely nonsensical. "It's a trope I dislike" would work, and make sense, but "don't write that, it's a trope" is like saying "don't use that hammer to pound nails, it's a hammer."

Now, I really liked how you escaped the trap of "he said" "she said" etc with every line of dialogue. Well done. I usually prefer a bit more build up and character development before the event, but that's just because I enjoy it more if I'm more invested in the characters. It was very hot; the descriptions of the sex were better than some, but I wonder if you'd be open to adding some more detail prior to the climax. As in, more than him saying how tight she is, or describing her mewling (good word, by the way).

The "damp folds" at the beginning, and the "pussy pulsing" at the end were good examples. I'll explain: how was her pussy wrapped around his cock? Was it slippery, hot, grasping, milking, sucking, suckling, rippling? Was it hungry, thirsty, insatiable, or something else? Sweet?

How did it feel as he came? Did the pulsations you described caress or milk his cum into her hot, buttery/silken depths/pussy?

Adjectives and adverbs, basically. And I can tell you have experience, so I've tried to phrase all this as inoffensively as possible, and make clear that these are all just my personal preferences, what I personally would find even more enjoyable, if added to the story.

And yes, by all means, please continue this story! Just please don't add any more sex partners, especially men. And if you have her get pregnant (or even if you don't), maybe add some character depth in? Right now she's just the hot blonde daughter with bigger tits than her mom, and he's the attractive father with black hair and a chin like Clark Kent. What are they really like?

Sorry for the wall of text.

-Anubelore (Literotica won't let me log in for some reason)

:-)

Not bad for your first try. Keep at it. And for my personal taste, definitely put the bun in the oven. Cheers.

dont bother continuing with this storyline at the very least.

Nice short sorry. Looking forward to party two

good plot, father daughter stories usuall are. seeing as it's been over a year now since this was written, cant see part two comming

Knock her up. It's just natural.