All Comments on 'Mine & Yours Pt. 04'

I feel like I wasted my time by reading this story. What a disappointing ending.

This was heart wrenching to read especially as Cara & Dante love each other so much. I hope you keep writing about this and eventually see them together again. I really dont care what you do to ensure they are reunited but in my mind it does need to happen somehow.

This wont be a fair ending please stretch the plot to middle age write a long story with interesting turns evolve the chemistry take your time

This last chapter was so rushed and it didn't make any sense in the storyline.

uh this can not be the final chapter. What happens to Tori and Dante, do they stay together with Cara living with them? Does Shane find out about Dante and Cara? So many things left to figure out

Enjoyed the story, but disappointed in the conclusion. Seems this may be an interim point, but surely it can't end this way...I hope!!!

Dante is just into being raped? Because blackmailing someone into sleeping with you is every bit as much rape as refusing to stop when your partner tells you they don't want you to continue. And he's not only oddly forgiving of the latter behaviour from Cara but also apparently quite happy about Tori doing the former. And even this explanation is clearly insufficient, because even most people--I dare not say 'all', because people can be really fucking weird--who enjoy fantasising about being raped still find the actual experience deeply traumatic.

But even operating under the questionable paradigm that Dante enjoys not only the fantasy but the reality of being raped, I also have to question how he can be so calm about the situation at the end, knowing that the woman he loves above all others is miserable, and that he is to participate in this misery. Because even if he wasn't, Cara was genuinely miserable during that window of time between when he began to date Tori and when he and Cara revealed their true feelings to one another. Are we really to believe that this will somehow be more bearable now that she has some knowledge of what could have been?

I am also deeply perplexed by the suggestion at the end that she had any regard for Shane beyond that of a friend. I can see no hint of any such feeling at any prior point in the story. She explicitly felt that she was leading him on, and yet felt less guilty about leading him on--or, indeed, cheating on him with Dante--than she did about 'cheating' on Dante by even so much as holding hands with Shane.

Which actually loops back to my first point; in this ending, Tori isn't just blackmailing Dante into sleeping with her but also blackmailing Cara into sleeping with Shane, meaning that she is also raping Cara, albeit by proxy. Which, again, should probably be upsetting to Dante if he really cares for her, especially given that I can think of no possible motive for Tori to do this except spite. If she is truly so confident that Dante will not allow anything to happen between himself and Cara because to fail to do so would be to endanger her prospects in life, I don't see any reason for her to force Cara to do anything in particular, except in order to punish her for attempting to steal Dante.

All of this has me legitimately wondering whether or not literally everyone in this story is a sociopath, which rather kills what emotional investment in their wellbeing I had managed to preserve up to this point. And from a purely literary perspective, the plot threads of Tabitha and Talula are clearly unfinished here. So I really don't think this works as an ending, or even as a middle. It almost feels like it belongs to a different story.

It feels worth noting two things, if you should decide to continue the story. First, since Dante is not the only one being blackmailed, Cara is perfectly capable of breaking the conditions of Tori's deal by herself, and if she truly feels, as she claims to Dante at the end of the chapter, that they should tell Tori to 'publish and be damned', and simply seek to weather the storm that will follow, she can do so herself, circumventing Dante's reluctance to so anything that will jeopardise her future. Second, in some jurisdictions, including the UK (where I have, perhaps incorrectly, been assuming this story to take place), blackmail is a more serious criminal offence than (consensual, adult) incest. So Tori could easily be in more (legal) trouble than they would be if she did publicise their relationship, especially if they can establish that sexual favours were among her demands (this being, as we have already mentioned, a form of sexual assault). The social costs would remain, of course, and given Tori's father's wealth, she could probably wriggle out of it, but only if her father agrees to use said wealth on her behalf.

This chapter was rushed and did make sense at all. It left me confused. It seems like you got tired of this story or you have another coming. Tori and Dante sexual encounter was a little detailed however Cara and Dante’s wasn’t

i loved the first 3 parts and was eager to see how this would continue but after reading this i can say it was a piece of crap compared to the first 3 parts and i'm not sure if it can be saved.

This chapter kinda sucks, and since someone else wrote an essay in the comments which is pretty much how I feel about this chapter, im not gonna do that here. This isn't realistic at all, and it makes me doubt the feelings that they had for each other in the first place. If your gonna continue this story please rewrite this chapter, or at least the ending of this chapter.

Hey everyone, I'm sorry that no one really liked my last chapter of Mine & Yours, I really believed in the ending I wrote but having read the criticisms you have, I understand your frustrations.

I wanted to do something different and I really thought it would be great. I'm happy to know that there are people who felt so strongly about my story to write responses to it, I've read all of them and taken them to heart.

I'm going to do my best to do right by all of you.

I hope you haven't given up on me, this was my first attempt at a complete narrative, and I aim at making it great. I'll update the story when I'm able and I hope it's something you'll all enjoy.

Best wishes.

I reread this story again. I enjoyed it and I believe you can give us another chapter while Dante is in the hospital. Since Cara is his sister, she should be able to stay and go from there. Please consider it. Thanks!