Minnie 01

Minnie 01

I think a fair number of these stories start out with something like "the first time I put on a pair of fem panties" and go from there. I agree that it felt great the first time I did that, but I started out a little differently. It was weird as hell and it started way back in the day, but it happened first. OMG, it was so weird. Oh, and I wish I could blame it on beer or drugs or that the sun was in my eyes, but it was a decision I felt comfortable with. And don't get too excited, it was just a thing.

I was not much of a swimmer growing up, but my friend Kevin was. And Kevin was good enough at it to be award a scholarship at the university to pursue his world competition dreams and he's still at it. He's like three hours down the road, doing what competitive college swimmers do. Good for Kevin, right?

Well, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, I guess. One day, back in the day, I asked Kevin about his body hair shaving routine and he said he would show me how he does it. Oh, and he did and it was only a little gay, but it was the start of my hairless body, other than what grew on top of my head. A slow start for sure because even safety razors can be dangerous and foams have their limitations, but a start just the same. And in Kevin's defense, he did not show me how to shave "down there" because swimmers don't need to do that. I learned how to do that all on my own as time went on.

And to be clear, it's just an old rumor that I was Kevin's Prom date three years. I merely helped him into his Tux after a final manscaping. Besides, his real Prom date, Quinn, said that if I ever go near her man again with a razor, then I better be prepared to shave her as well, which is how I started to learned how to shave down there. Besides, as you will read, I'm not much of a dress wearing CD. So, just blow that rumor off if you hear about that.

Anyways, my first CD step was a smooth and hairless body. A little freaky at first and OMG, a lot of work, OMG so much work, but I didn't get invited to a lot of stuff by my friends, so I always had extra time on my hands. And practice makes perfect, as we all know. Also, stubble makes for a lot itching, which goes back to practicing again and OMG, it's a vicious and non-ending circle, as most circles are. But women shave for a reason and it's a damn good reason. Just take a peek at Quinn and I'm sure you will agree with me that the good reasons are there. Also, SOB, armpits are a bitch and Quinn's give my hair removal equipment quite a workout!

Also, while I have your attention, even though there a lot of great hair removal products on the market, come on inventers and investors, they all have as many cons as they do pros, so get bust and create a miracle product, will you? I promise, there is a market for such a product.

Anyways, I did progress into wearing female under garments against my smooth body. At first, it was for the softness and the feel of the fem garments and that leveled up as soon as I realized that a hairless body is a perfectly matched set for the softer undies that women are lucky enough to wear all the time and then all that led to me making big changes in my clothing purchases.

Thus, Minnie was born.

I don't claim to role play a girl. I'm just a hairless bodied boy who enjoys the clothes and if I act a little gentler than other guys, well, so what? It's the 21st century and everything is acceptable, right? Fine, it's the 21st century and anything is possible. And let me add the wearing of makeup on the coat tails of that 21st century Bill. All types of people wear makeup these days, so I'm sure Congress will sign the Bill into Law. Call your local representative and tell them to back off CD's, please.

Anyways, it's entirely possible that I am the lightest CD on the planet. I like a hint of this and a hint of that and if you have to get closer to me to figure out that I'm just a queer hairless boy in fem clothing with the slightest hues of a highlighted face, well, get closer to me. I'm gentle, I'm kind and I will respond to anything you have to say. I probably won't say yes to date of any kind, but don't lose my number. It's the 21st century and anything is possible, so the Bill that Congress threw out the window might hit me and crack my shell.

Well, all except for that one guy I met at the Scare Crow festival last fall. Henry said he recognized me from my Chang homepage and Henry said he thought he noticed a crack in my shell and Henry had a handheld egg beater and he was spinning it and I don't know what or where he planned on using that. So, everyone else but Henry, step in and take a closer look.

I also like things on the lighter side for the benefit of my friends. I think it's easier for them to deal with it rather than a crazy club ready Minnie. Also, living my weird life on the lighter CD side means I don't even have what it takes to present a crazy club look, but who knows what the future holds, right? I mean, we already agreed that anything is possible because it's the 21st century, right?

Alright, here's what I have for friends and dating prospects and I'll start with my dating prospects, minus Henry, of course. Here is who I have dated or am about to officially date.

(Looking around while whistling)

Alright then, back to my reality. I may be on the light side of things, but I have a lot of fun. I have a wonderful friend to the west, Nate, who likes to stop by and enjoy a wonderful home cooked take out meal with once or twice a week. Nate and I don't date, but I have had sex with him. The sun was in my eyes once and I thought I had a hold of the garden hose.

I have a wonderful neighbor lady, Claudia, who only buys a bra to ignite her backyard bonfire and who also hooked my friend Jay by the gills, but she keeps Jay busy while Timmy and I talk inside of my house. Timmy and I definitely don't date, but we have been known to help each other out when it comes to perfecting the art of proper flirting. Timmy really wants a girlfriend (LMAO, LOL, LMAO, LOL) and needs some help.

I love my two original friends, Jay and Timmy, who actually let me hang out with them. They don't mind that I lightly dress when I visit them at one of their houses and they have never said anything when I up my Minnie game when they come to my house. It's a perfect situation and as long as neither of ever meet Nate, well, we should remain friends for a long time.

I feel like I'm forgetting someone, but that's my way of saying, nope, that's it for human contact in my life. It's not the greatest socializing situation, but it's something and I make the best of it.

Circling back to Nate and that stormy day when I thought I was winding up the garden hose, the truth is that having a pizza with him so many times got me and I tried to jump his bones, which is something that I didn't need to do, but thankfully Nate felt the same way and took over. Yes, I am admitting that I wanted it and I'm admitting that I started it and I'm admitting that we get together on a regular basis, but apparently, I can't admit that we are dating. I don't know, Nate doesn't fit the gay bill and I'm never going to claim that I'm gay because I'm the fem CD, so we're friends with benefits??????

There's not much to circle back on when it comes to my neighbor Claudia. She's a wonderful person, but she may have been getting a little lonely and Jay's a good-looking guy and Claudia never wears a bra, so Timmy and I have extra time together at my house. A good thing and a bad thing.

Timmy started to up his game when we were alone, no matter how many times I reminded him that we had been friends forever. And I'll try to get this correct out of respect for Timmy. I sensed a shift in the force and we ended up weaving a tangled mess of a web. Um, and something about Timmy going insane.

"Minnie, is it just my bad luck that you always wear soccer mom shorts when we're hanging out alone? I don't you have other shorts. I view your homepage, you know."

"Now Timmy, I thought the unwritten rule was that I dialed it down for you guys. I mean, be respectful and stuff, right? Anyways, I did go on a power walk with the ladies this morning, so maybe next time. My turn?"

"Yeah, sure, why not?"

"Timmy, now that you brought up my selfies, I need your help with a few things. I get confused with the comments some lurkers. But first, do you appreciate my selfies?"

"Oh, I appreciate that you don't post nudes, I greatly appreciate that you don't show off your front area and I'm sure what they say about the rear views are greatly understated."

"Cool, I think. But why do all of the lurkers want me to turn around in my selfies and show my front? It seems to me that the human butt is so much more universal, not to mention so much better than my shameful front. I mean, what is their end game? Do they want me on my hands and knees so they "cuddle" with me for an hour or do they want to kneel in front of me and show how much of a faggot they are? They never really say why they want me to flash something else, they just say "show me the goods" and ask me out on a cuddle date. Well, isn't my backside my goods? I'm never going to flash my front, so shouldn't they say that they want to spank me or just move on to a Chang T-Girl loves likes to flash both sides? Am I missing something? Also, it's the 21st century, so as two friends, it's not gay for you to agree that my hard work has paid off back there."

"OMG, all of that sounds gay, but you're right about all the squats you do. From the rear and at a small distance, well, it's like drooling, I mean looking at Quinn. So, can you heat me up something to eat?"

"Of course, I can. And thanks, that was a perfect answer. I mean, Quinn, right? Long live the Greeks, so I'll take that as a compliment. Reheated Fried Chicken coming up. Your turn."

"Alright. You and I have been stagnant lately and Jay has progressed and maybe we should step it up."

"Watch where you're going with this Tim. Flirting is our thing and that's the line. And Jay hasn't really progressed. He just got lucky to come across Claudia when she was in a lonely and horny state. My turn?????"

"Fine, who cares how I feel or what I want."

"Shut it Tim and eat your Chicken. Our 45 seconds of doing silly stuff is enough. It's same as how long I reheated your Chicken for, which I seasoned special for you, so 45 seconds must be magical. Your turn."

Well, Timmy's insanity forced him to sneeze out the spider webs in his head and they were woven it a total mess. And I became totally flustered as I tried to un-weave the woven webs of crossing the line.

Timmy crossed the line and flat out asked me out. No fooling around in the hallway, no walking each other out to the car, just a straight up date between two friends who should not be dating. And oh, his logic to protect us from public humiliation, well, yeah, right. Also, Timmy totally went insane.

Timmy asked me out on a date to a very public venue and his brainstorm idea was that I would change my name for one night because, you know, that solved everything. I should have seasoned his Chicken with rat poison.

So, in a state of shock, all I could think of was who in the hell is Valerie and why is she known as Vampy Valerie who wears worn out combat boots? I mean, my stuff is newer and tight! I mean, light, but tight!

"Timmy, such a date between us is a terrible idea. Besides, you know my wardrobe, I'd have to get other stuff to pretend to be Vampy Valerie. How's the seasoning on the Chicken? Good, right? Anyways, is this about Nate? Are you jealous? Nate and I didn't start out as friends like you and I. Your turn."

"What? Nate? Who the hell is Nate and why is he called Nighttime Nate?"

"Oops, ah, Nate is Vampy Valerie's ex-boyfriend. Anyways, you were saying something else stupid?"

"I was saying that if Vampy Valerie agrees to attend the Hero Con with me and hangs all over me, then I might be able to pick up some phone numbers from chicks. I mean, dorks have to have decent looking chicks around them to get other chicks phone numbers. That's solid logic, right? Your turn."

"Oh, and here I was afraid that you wanted to up our silly little flirting games and take it to the next step. I mean, LOL, I was totally afraid that you were going to ask me to lick your fingers because my Chicken is that good. Proposal under consideration, but your logic is not all that solid. Your turn. And be quick before Jay comes back over kicking his heels in the air."

"I want to have sex with Vampy Valerie. Jay has been giving me pointers and I know some stuff. Besides, Valerie is just a vampy ho, unlike my pure and dear friend Minnie. Conversation over?"

"Oh, more Timmy logic, huh? Here, try some of this special seasoning and don't worry about how tangy it tastes. Conversation regretted. Oh, and hospital on speed dial because that's not seasoning."

See what I have to put up with? Timmy wants to bang on the same back door that Nate knocks on and it's all cool because, you know, I wore a big crazy wig, painted weird symbols on my face and changed my name for one night. LOL, the logic that is Timmy.

Well, WTF, right? He offered to pay for the appropriate clothes and going out in public wouldn't be the worse thing in the world and Nate never comes around on the weekends, so proposal under genuine consideration.

Besides, I just texted Nate to confront him about seeing Vampy Valerie on the side and he promised me that he met anyone named Vampy Valerie. He even promised to straighten everything out if I gave him Valerie's contact info. LOL, 20 seconds later, I sent his phone call straight to voice mail.

End Minnie 01