Miranda Cortez: Ditch Girl

"Now, front side," she said. I rolled to my back and spread out.

"Ooh, look at you! I gotta get those swim trunks off you!"

"Not yet, Miranda. Please?"

"Yes, yet. How can I get lotion over all your important parts with those on?"

Before I could protest, she already had my trunks halfway down my thighs. A moment later, they were at my calves and half a second later, off my feet.

"There, that's better."

I doubted it was, considering how wrung out I felt.

***

Only Juanito and his lifeguard remained at the pool when Miranda and I returned an hour later. Aldonza lounged under a huge umbrella, appearing beautiful and half asleep. But no fooling. Every time Juanito did anything different, her eyes flickered open and her head turned in that direction.

"Momma!" he called out, soon as we stepped through the door onto the patio slab. He separated himself from the pool edge and ran over to us, grabbing my hand as soon as he reached us.

"Please come swim with me, Father?" he said, looking up.

"Sure, John. Please do." Miranda pulled me down just a bit and kissed me a peck on the cheek.

So, what choice did I have? I followed little Juanito toward the opposite end of the pool, wondering what he had in mind.

"Will you teach me to dive? Please?"

Well, what did I know, I mean except what little I learned in college phys-ed swim class? But could I let those worshiping eyes down? For a hint, I looked toward Miranda and Aldoza, but for guidance I got back only go ahead, go ahead!

For my exhibition dive, I gave him a quick one off the springboard's end with only two moderate bounces before takeoff. Next, when I got him onto the board, calmed down, and he'd taken a couple test bounces, his two-bounce dive was better than mine.

As he swam to the pool side, I told him so. A moment later, he was back on the board and had added that to his sea otter resume. Me? I joined Miranda and Aldonza under the umbrella, all the time keeping my eye on Juanito and encouraging him, but wondering just what there was between these two women.

"Oh, you're dry," Aldoza said. "I should get you a beer."

I shook my head.

"No, please, Mr. Slocombe. Let me do that for you."

I looked toward Miranda hoping she'd spare me off.

"Get him one, Aldoza. In a few minutes he'll be sweating it all out, anyway."

What did that mean? Juanito and I were destined for pool-side calisthenics?

The second woman looked Juanito's direction, then rolled off the lounge and returned in five minutes with a bottle of my favorite beer. Miranda must have clued her in on the brand. With more flourish than it warranted, she uncapped the bottle and properly poured it down the side of the mug she'd brought with the beer.

"Thanks," I said.

"John, you are so welcome. You just wait and see, right Miranda?"

Miranda nodded, which made me wonder on this topic, too, said wondering being done while downing half the bottle at a more or less easy pace.

"You needed a beer," Aldonza said.

I nodded, the dry in my throat gone.

"If you want, I'll go swimming with you ... so Juanito doesn't feel abandoned."

Why not? The pool was cool, I was warm from where the sun bypassed our umbrella, and beer can only do so much for cooling you off. I rolled off the lounge and stood up. Aldonza stood, too, called and waved to Juanito.

In a moment he'd jumped out of the pool, it seemed, and was almost running toward us. When he arrived, he threw his arms around both Aldonza and me.

"Mamma?" he said over his shoulder. "Can Aunt Aldonza and Daddy John come swimming with me?"

"Why not? And when you get tired, take them to your room and show John what you made with your Mr. Thinker Toy set."

So, Aldonza and I took our chances of being shown up by an almost four year old human seal. That kid was learning fast.

But Aunt Aldonza was no slouch, either. I never did hear where she learned what she did from a diving board, but she swam like a jet and dove like a rocket. She must have thought my two-bounce demonstration dive I gave Juanito quite simplistic.

But if she did, it never showed. What showed was what Juanito could learn if he just asked Aldonza to show him. I had a mind to ask, too, but ... well ... never did.

For an hour, the three of us splashed around the pool, us two adults never matching Juanito's energy. But after an hour, even his began to wain. He swam over to where Aldonza and I had taken refuge in the shallower water.

"Wanna' come see my helicopter?" Juanito said, holding onto his aunt to make up for the depth difference between us adults and him.

"Getting tired?" I said.

"Not much, but I want you to see it."

I looked toward the female member of our little swim team. She gave me a why not? nod, so in a moment we headed toward the even shallower edge of the pool.

Juanito dragged both me and his Aunt Adonza by both his hands on ours, from the pool, into the house, down the hall Miranda had led me earlier, into the elevator—which he eagerly and expertly demonstrated he knew how to operate—and into one of the rooms along that third-floor hall. In a moment, he'd retrieved his contraption and proceeded to tell me how it would work. No, it wouldn't fly—the limits of his construction materials made it impossible. But he had all the components in place for it to fly if he somehow surmounted those material limits. A main rotor for lift, a tail rotor for pitch control, all arranged as needed to get off the ground.

Covering his face, I saw the question: Will it fly?

"Yes it will. But you'll have control problems the way you have it set up now." I saw his face fall.

"Juanito, don't look at it that way. It will fly. What you have here is better than hundreds of early helicopters that flopped. Hundreds, young man! You think because it won't fly yet, that you goofed up. No, you haven't. It's really good. You are really good. I'm so proud of you!"

With that, he plunged at me and swamped me with a very emphatic embrace.

"Here you are, Juanito, not yet four years old but you've accomplished more that a hundred grown men did way back when. Sure, you have the advantage of knowing it can be done, but there's a great difference between done and just knowing it can be done."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Oh, Daddy!"

I swear that kid was going to bust a gut he was so proud.

"Did you show your mother?"

"She didn't know how to look at it. I tried to explain, but she couldn't understand."

"Well, I understand, and it would fly, and if you keep working on it, it will."

"Will you help me?"

"No, I won't. I'll ask the questions you have to solve, but you'll solve them. I'll help you get better materials, some sort of engine to power it, but when it flies, it will be your machine, not mine. Understand?"

"But Daddy, suppose I can't?"

"You can, Juanito."

"Oh, Daddy I'm scared."

"Why? You already did the hard part."

"I'm scared because I don't want to disappoint you."

"The only way you disappoint me at all is if you give up."

"Really?"

"Yes. Now, explain to your Aunt Aldonza here what you've done. Explaining to another person usually helps you with your thinking, too."

So he did, and his explanation was even better this time than before. I think Aldonza understood most of what he said. When he finished, she swept him into her arms and held him there like a mother would. Yeah, I was beginning to understand what was going on here.

Not to mention half way though he discovered one of his control oversights, the need to counteract counter rotation. He stopped in mid-sentence, explaining to himself what would happen the way he had it now. "Ah! Need a second tail rotor to push against that! Yes, Aunt Aldonza, if I pushed here with another tail rotor, no problem."

He came at me once more, smiling, pleased with himself, but much less pleased than I was. No dumbie, this kid. Made me wonder how well I'd spent my life so far.

"Juanito?" Aldonza said. "Why don't you take it and show your mother and grandfather. Show them what their son and grandson has done. They'll be as proud as your Daddy."

With that he grabbed the whole assemblage and began disassembling it. In mere minutes the handful of kiddie toy parts had a second tail rotor, and I had a son of whom I was even more proud.

"This look okay, Daddy?" he said.

"Is it? You're the designer."

He stopped a moment, and I wondered what he thought.

"Yes, I am, aren't I," he said, as much to himself as anyone.

"You are, Juanito. You are."

"I gotta go show Momma and Grandpa!" With that he scrambled to gather up the rest of the helicopter parts inventory from the floor, grabbed the whole works and dashed off into the hall and away. It took a minute or two for the sounds of success to dissipate.

"Soon as Miranda finds out, she'll be dashing up here trying to thank you, you know. Anyone who makes him that happy will make her that happy."

"So?"

"So, I better hide you away somewhere if I'm going to get to know you better. I do want to know you better and I sure hope you want to know me better, too."

Yes, I'd suspicioned so. In a moment she was dragging me down the hall much the way Juanito had dragged both this Aunt Aldonza and me up here to his helicopter factory: Urgently and with unlimited enthusiasm.

We had just closed the door to a different bedroom when I heard Miranda calling down the hall.

"Don't answer it," Aldonza said softly. "The rule here is don't invade any closed bedroom that's not yours. Of course, you don't matter because they're all your bedrooms—except Uncle Cortez, my mother and aunt's bedrooms, of course—and maybe Juanito now that he's almost a man."

This was my bedroom? And Miranda's? And what about Adora's? Well, I thought I'd figured out Miranda's two aunts' situation with Mr. Cortez, but these two sisters of Miranda herself? These were mine, too?

"You look shocked," she said.

Was I shocked? I mean as a freshman I'd dragged a nearly dead woman out of an irrigation ditch, hauled her to and dumped her off at a hospital, bolted out of there like a scared rabbit to avoid John Law, graduated from the same college three years later, gotten a good-paying, engineering job with the local electric power monopoly, followed a reformed bitch from my bedroom to a coaching job for her four-year-old, helicopter-designer son, and into his aunt's bedroom. Was I shocked? Hell, no! I was bowled over and a lot more. Shocked would have insinuated I knew how to handle this!

"I think you and I need to relax, John. Juanito won't bother us; he knows the rules. Neither will Miranda nor Adora or anyone else. It's two hours at least until dinner time. If we still need more time, Momma will save out some supper we can reheat later. So ...?"

I guess I stood there too long too dumb.

"Sit on the bed, John. Please?"

With that she shucked her pool robe and shoes. Amazing the difference any height of heels makes. Also amazing what removing one article of clothing, even a thin pool robe, can make. A full measure of real woman sat on the bed beside me, and followed that with a kiss.

"There," she said. "Shall we get acquainted?"

Could I help but nod? She pushed my shoulders back until I lay on the bed, my legs still hanging off the side.

"Shoes off," she said, so I kicked them loose.

"Now, this shirt off." She one-by-one slipped it's buttons loose, the helped me squirm it off my shoulders.

"Good, Now your swim trunks." She reached inside their front an pulled the bow knot loose. Once that was loose, she slid off the edge of the bed toward my knees.

"Lift your handsome butt so I can slide them off."

Why not? The why not was answered by the way she slid them off my legs. If she kept that up, severe danger to my durability in a clinch would result.

"Now, you want to undress me, too? Or you want a style show?"

I suppose I was grinning like a kid in a candy store. So I got the style show, although the decision wasn't mine.

"There," she said. "Like that?"

Sure did!

"So, what did Miranda tell you, John?"

I'm sure I shook my head.

"You two just played the sex game all that time? All night and this morning, yet she never stopped and told you anything? How did you survive that long? Isn't she any good?"

"Oh, she's good, all right. Real good."

"Well, I better tell you what's what so you don't get any wrong ideas."

Okay?

"Ready?"

"I guess."

"So here goes. Hang onto your hat.

"You figured out by now my mother and Adora's mother are Uncle's mistresses. Adora and I are half sisters. Miranda is his full daughter; her mother died—killed, actually—a long time ago, and he just can't bring himself to remarry. Why should he? Our mothers love him and he loves them, and they both love Miranda. Lots of tears were shed around here during her abduction, rape and near murder."

Okay, I'd just about figured that out or guessed it.

"A young man like Mr. Cortez needs three women; but he is getting to that stage in life where a man slows down some, so he gets along okay without Miranda's mother. You, on the other hand, need at least three women. If the three of us can't handle you, then we'll add another."

She stopped, I don't know why. Maybe because my mouth hung open in greater shock?

I think I tried to say, Why?

"A woman's body."

"Huh?"

"You know the facts of life, don't you?"

I thought I did.

"A woman loses at least a week every month."

I knew that, sort of.

"So if you're to have two every day, you need three. Simple."

My quick thinking said if the seven lost days really was the situation, then having three women in my life overcompensated. My face must have shown my evaluation.

"Of course, Mother Nature isn't hard and fast on seven days a month, so three women compensates for that, too."

"Oh."

"And we keep ourselves as strict on our schedules as we can. No sense you missing out just because Mother Nature doesn't keep herself regular."

I supposed not. But did I need two women every day? One could wear me out. Miranda had proven that already.

"Now, John. Where are we on the schedule?"

I give up.

"Miranda is going out of commission as we speak. I'm in commission and Adora is just getting back in. So, there you have it. We are your three, we hope you like us, and we will do our best to fulfill your, as they say, every desire."

I had to be dreaming. A beautiful, all but naked woman was telling me this? Down the hall a hundred feet another just as beautiful waited to take up the slack or come into the game as a substitute? And I'd gotten here by running one good Samaritan deed to a hospital instead of beating feet out of there? I shook my head.

"What's the matter? Don't you like this ... us that much?"

"I like you all just fine."

"Well, then, what?"

I still shook my head.

"Maybe it's what I didn't say yet."

I looked up with Oh? On my face.

"Babies, children, more babies like Juanito. You like him, I know, and he likes you. You'll be a great father for all the children we want to give you."

Kids. There that goes again!

"How many you want, anyway?" she said.

"None. Never thought about it. None?"

"Oh, no, not you, John. You were made to be a father. Look how well you get along with Juanito."

"All I did was look at his helicopter and watch him swim."

"And made him feel like the man he wants to become."

"Hargg!"

"Come on, my man. Let's go to bed and see how the future looks."

"Oh no! No kids."

"No kids until you say so."

I nodded, but could I trust her?

***

Seven-thirty was dinner time at Mr. Cortez' house. Aldonza and I limped from the elevator to the dining room five minutes early, finding everyone from brunch there except one couple of grandparents who, I learned, had returned to a retirement home for their medications.

"Good evening, Mr. Slocombe," Mr. Cortez said once we joined the rest.

"Have a nice rest after your swim? I understand you think Juanito is a burgeoning aircraft designer."

"Sure is. That thing he put together would fly, I'm certain, if made of the right materials and powered with enough engine."

Junito tugged at my sleeve. I looked down.

"Daddy? I think I found another reason it can't fly."

"We should look at that tomorrow. I'm sure you can figure it out. I just know you can." For that I got another worshiping smile.

About then, Miranda swung into the room with the rest.

"Oh, Honey!" she gushed. "I haven't been this happy since ... since .... Oh, John, I love you so much! I wish I could ...."

"I know. Aldonza told me."

"Worst part of being a woman! Why does mine have to be now?"

"Because in seven days, or thereabouts, I'm going to take you to bed and let you love me more again. Simple. Just look forward."

"Oh, why did I ignore you at college. I wasted all that time. Damned it, stupid me!"

"We all have to grow up. Some do it different times than others."

"I know. I was trying to get even with the world for Momma getting killed. All that time I had everybody here, but I missed Momma so much. Stupid, stupid, stupid me!"

"Not stupid, just untimely. So what about now? I'm here now. Where would I be now if that hadn't happened?"

"Somewhere else, I guess."

"And would you have found someone like me to love?"

"I doubt it."

"So?"

"So I'm going to love you forever, and make sure my half-sisters do, too."

"All right, everybody," Mr. Cortez said over the small talk rumble. "Dinner will be on in the time it takes you to sit."

And it was, served again by Mr. Cortez' mistresses masquerading as cook and maid, who once the food hit the table, joined us.

***

The evening went by quickly. Mainly, Adora said our goodnights after supper finished, gave me a chance to say goodnight directly to Juanito, and led me to the inevitable elevator. I think she handled it this way from sheer fear of fumbling her duties.

In the elevator she shrank back, more that I'd seen at any time.

"What's the matter," I said.

"Scared."

"Why? Of me?"

She nodded.

"I already know the score. Aldonza told me."

She nodded again.

"You and I and Aldonza will be like your two mothers and Mr. Cortez. The good part of us is we have Miranda, too. At least, I think so."

I saw, Okay, but I'm still scared on her face.

"Look. Miranda is beautiful, Aldonsa is beautiful, Your are beautiful.

"Miranda is smart, Aldonza is smart, Adora is smart. I can see it in your eyes.

"Miranda is sweet—at least lately, Aldonza is so sweet I can hardly believe it, and I just know you're going to be so sweet I'll want to curl up in your arms and love you forever."

"But what if ... if ...?"

"You're not? Or can't?"

She nodded.

"Then you'll just have to change, that's all. If you don't, I'll turn you over my knee and paddle your pretty little ass real good. Because I know you can do it. I know you can be everything I want you to be."

Her eyes popped wide open.

"Well? You think you can't?"

She didn't respond. For a moment her face looked like shock of some sort, but then she came to.

"Oh, you're good, Mr. Slocombe!" she said, her head moving slowly from side to side. "You know, I didn't believe Miranda when she told us. But I think you're even better than she said. Just like you did Juanito and his helicopter. You used that same trick on me just now, and I fell for it."

"No trick, Adora. I'm just being nice and truthful and considerate."

She turned to me and smiled. What was this, anyway?

"Come on, Mr. Slocombe. Take me to bed while we still have time to get to know each other. By the time we take that elevator down in the morning, I want to know you so well no one knows you better."