Mismatched

"You know that she is seeing someone else, right?" Maria asked me on the phone a few days later.

"Who is seeing someone?"

"Come on, don´t act as dumb as you are, okay?"

"That´s okay. We have agreed on something like that."

"So you´re her affair?"

"No, I´m her man. But she can see other guys for partying and dancing. I´m not that much into such stuff, you know?"

"Yes, I know. But she´s making a fool of you. She´s just using you."

"Unlike you?"

"Okay, touché. But she´s seeing the same guy all the time. They look pretty close. They kiss all the time. No one else dances with her."

"Hmmm." I somehow knew she told me the truth, ulterior motives or not. But I didn´t know what to make of it. I sure didn´t love Anna and I knew that she was manipulating me just like the others had. But she was better at doing it and her body was plain irresistable anyway.

"People have told me they are a couple."

"What?" Shit. That one hurt me somehow. I had never believed that we could be a couple in the classical way. But hearing that I was just some affair hurt nonetheless.

"Sorry, Peter. Remember, if you need me, I´m here."

"Yeah, sure. To use me like Anna does."

"Probably, yes. Sorry. You know how it is..."

"Yeah, I know. I´m the freak with the miracle cock."

"Take care." I was almost glad she didn´t even try to deny it and lie to me.

xx

I was now completely convinced. Covinced that I didn´t have a single clue what was going on with Anna. I felt like a puppet on strings, which four women pulled at. They were all manipulating me for their entertainment, regardless of the emotional fallout dropping on me.

So I decided to use the only weapon I had at my disposal - time. Because of the semester break I had plenty of that. Instead of using it for excessive Counter Strike gaming sessions and sex, I decided to use it on some kind of amateur investigation. And sex. Yeah, call me weak. But I was under no illusion about what would happen if Anna wanted some.

So I tried to follow her around, which turned out to be not easy beacuse her BMW was so much faster than my old rusty bicycle. But after a few days I was able to anticipate her preferred locations. The problem was - whenever I saw her, she was accompanied by a guy. Always the same guy. A quite handsome guy, I had to admit. Big, muscular, manly features, good manners. Probably didn´t fart in bed, too, was a hell of a dancer and put down the toilet lid. Yeah, buddy, but you´re no good in bed. Otherwise she wouldn´t keep seeing me. But somehow this thought didn´t make me feel better. It was clear which one of us would get her in the end. But did I really envy him for this lying, manipulating cheater? I had visions of his future life with her and they were not pleasant for him. Anyway, on our next date I would confront her.

xx

Of course, I wasn´t brain dead. The confrontation was planned after a huge, final, monumental sex session. I totally drove her up the walls this time. She was screaming and scratching my back, totally losing control. I had to smile and made no effort to hide it. She wouldn´t understand it anyway, even if she was capable of seeing it. Which she wasn´t, being busy in lala land.

"Anna, I don´t want to continue this."

"What?" She was just coming down from her high, enjoying the relaxed post-coital bliss. This was an unexpected interruption for sure.

"I want to end it, Anna."

"What?" Clearly she wasn´t used to being dumped. Maybe this was even the first time it had ever happened to her. "You´re dumping me?"

"That´s about the size of it."

"But why? We have a lot of fun together."

"Because you´re cheating."

"Oh, you´re jealous? How cute."

"Anna, you´re not cheating on me. You´re cheating on your boyfriend."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh."

"Come on, this doesn´t hurt either of you." And that was the extent of her contriteness about hurting me and lying to me.

"No, it hurts me now. It will hurt him when he inevitably finds out. I know it´s quite convenient for you, but you´re acting just a tad too selfish for my taste." Wow, had I just said that? Had I somehow miraculously grown a set of brass balls? One thing was certain, my self-confidence was a lot better than it had been a few months ago. I certainly still was no level 90 wizard, but I wasn´t a level 1 noob either.

"You´re sure about this? You´re never going to get near a woman like me. You know that, don´t you?" she asked softly.

"Yes, I know." She was right and my sadness about the fact was clearly audible.

"Okay, I understand. I´m sorry, but I respect your decision."

And with that I just left her bed, showered, dressed and left her apartment. Neither of us said another word. It felt good. I had done the right thing, she was just using me. It felt bad. Because I had stupidly done the right thing.

xx

I managed to stay away from Emmy, Julia and Maria either. I was just a toy for them as well. I even finally started my workout sessions, beginning with my right arm.

And of course, things were never that easy. I was an easy prey and the four women were determined and skilled hunters. While I lay in bed with Julia, I vowed that this was a one-time slip. And on the next day I cursed myself for giving in to Maria as well. This had to stop. I felt like I owed Emmy one, but after that this chapter had to be closed.

And I was successful until I practically ran to my apartment two weeks later because of a case of screaming hornies. I needed some relief, but without Anna´s added stimulation I would have to schedule at least 30 minutes for the task "at hand".

I almost stumbled across Anna sitting in front of my door. I ignored one of my neighbors staring at her in awe and just helped her to her feet.

"Anna."

"Pater. You have a few minutes for me?"

"Um, I was in a hurry. I have another lecture in about an hour."

"And you needed some relief? Use me instead."

"Aaahhh, shit." That was my neighbor Tom. He stood there, clenching his fists, his face was contorted.

"Anna, I don´t know. Seriously."

Tom stared at me in amazement. "Peter! Are you completely braindead?"

"Tom, shut up. This is not that easy."

"Come on, look at her. If you don´t say yes, I´ll have to kill you as a matter of principle."

Anna just laughed. "Thank you, Tom. Peter, he´s right."

"Okay, come in then."

"Oh God, you asshole. Lucky bastard," moaned Tom.

"Tom, shut up, okay?" I said in a good-humored way. His right hand would be as busy as my cock soon. And he would never look at me the same way. And neither will I. Because I already hated me for being weak again.

We had a nice, short sex session of about half an hour, which gave us the time to use my miniscule shower.

"Can we repeat this from time to time, Peter?"

"Ah, I don´t know. You love him?"

"Don´t ask please."

"I need to know."

"Yes, I think I love him. He´s so handsome, charming, well built. But the sex is bad. No, not actually bad. He´s nice and caring enough. It´s, well... maybe it´s a little boring."

"And with me it´s the other way around? Good sex, boring guy?"

She just looked away.

Among the group of mostly un-laid and inexperienced nerdy guys that I still regarded myself belonging to, there was this theorem. Of course, it was not proven by much first-hand experience for obvious reasons. But it said that with a woman´s beauty, her self-centeredness and bitchiness increased proportionally. To stay away from those women and so on. I always regarded that as bull. It was like the advice not to jump to the moon because the atmosphere was too thin.

But suddenly I was exactly in the situation that rule applied to. I had attempted to jump to the moon and to my surprise it even worked. And yes, the atmosphere here was unhealthy.

It seemed that Anna didn´t really want either of her men. She just wanted to pick the best traits and combine them somehow. She hurt both of us in the process, but it didn´t seem to be a relevant aspect for her.

Okay, Peter. Time to jump back to Earth, where you belong to. It might be boring, but definitely more healthy.

"So you planned to keep me on the side, as your affair?"

"More or less, yes. But please don´t take that personally. I would really hate to lose you."

"You´re going to marry him?"

"Peter, I want to come clean. We are already married."

"Oh. How long?" It was getting even worse. She had lied to me about being a couple. She had cheated on her husband and I had unknowingly cuckolded him. Damn, this had to end.

"About a year. But that doesn´t have to stop us."

"You´re using me to commit adultery. That´s not right."

"Right, wrong. Who cares? He will never know."

"Everybody wins, huh?"

"Exactly."

"Apart from him, of course. He gets cheated on. And apart from me. I will never have some kind of relationship this way. You want to keep me as your exclusive spare cock. So who wins? Ah, yes. You."

She had the decency to at least look pensive at me.

"Not a chance?" she whispered.

"No. It just isn´t right."

"You´re a good guy, you know?"

"Sure, that´s why I lose all the time."

"I think you won´t, in the long run. Take care."

"Sure." And with that she just left my apartment. I was glad she did. No, seriously, it broke my heart to see that fabulous ass and long, wavy mane leaving. But it had to be done, this was hopeless and humiliating.

xx

It turned out that there was one parting gift from Anna still waiting for me. No, not a sexual transmitted disease. It came in the form of that big, gentle and well mannered husband of hers, waiting at my doorstep.

Luckily my memory of the following events hadn´t survived. So the next thing I knew was that I woke up in a hospital bed. It seemed that he had expressed his concerns about my relations with his spouse in a very upfront manner. Based on my concussion and the various bruises, I didn´t have the chance to entirely explain things from my point of view.

The thing is - I couldn´t even blame him. I would have probably acted the same way. Well, assuming I would have been physically able to do it, of course. Lucky me, a woman like Anna would never marry me, so at least that situation I would have been spared from.

Which meant that several witnesses would never watch me beating someone up like they had in this case. And that I would never be arrested shortly afterwards like this Martin guy turned out to be. Puh, sometimes being lanky and unattractive had its advantages.

xx

Of course, Anna didn´t visit me to inspect the result of her brilliant little game. I was released soon afterwards and immediately tried to stop the prosecution against this guy. I just didn´t see the sense in it. It was just a guy, hurt by an uncaring and too beautiful bitch. I felt like we were in the same boat. And I was partially to blame for her adultery as I had already suspected that she was in some kind of relationship, so I felt like we were even with this beating. Stopping the arm of the law turned out to be not that easy, but I had at least tried.

xx

About two months of right-hand workout later - I had managed to stay away from Emmy, Maria and Julia - she sat on my doorstep again. Anna, in all her glory. The evening sun conspired with her by illuminating her fantastic hair in a magical glow. Her face was almost unworldly beautiful. She looked just irresistable. So what did I do? Right.

I wordlessly stepped over her and just entered my apartment.

"Hey, you can not..." was all I could hear before the closing door cut her indignant speech off. Damn, that felt good. I think the manipulative bitch needed such a grounding urgently and I needed the boost. Yeah, yeah, it was cheap. But it felt good nonetheless.

xx

I was leaving my modest apartment a few weeks later - well, if you were kind enough to describe my accomodation cave that way. I had to admit that the girls had good reason to insist on using their apartments for my human dildo services during my active period. Theirs were definitely habitable, while you could debate that when you saw mine. It was mainly a collection of study material, SciFi merchandise and empty junk food packagings. I wasn´t ashamed of it though. I was a geek and living in a geek apartment seemed only appropriate. Tidiness was overrated anyway, my buddies and me totally agreed on that.

I was just jumping down the stairs in some kind of juvenile mood, being dressed appropriately. Hell, I was a nerd, a student and I had no money. What do you expect? I was clad in my second best hoodie, which had only one hole and was quite cool, showing Chewbacca on the front. I could even remember when I had last washed it, which was more than could be said about my jeans. I was a little late on my way to Andy. We planned to test the new Linux kernel together.

I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw a new white Range Rover approaching the apartment block. This was totally wrong. Such a car wasn´t supposed to stop here. This felt like the Queen´s coach, pulled by white horses and appearing in a Brazilian slum unexpectedly.

The door opened and a woman with long, wavy dark hair exited... No, wrong. She didn´t just exit. She glided out of the car gracefully. The car seemed preposterously huge compared to her, but she handled the situation with perfect elegance. Her beautiful face, perfect body and stylish clothes made her look like she had freshly stepped out of a fashion catalogue. She took off her oversized sunglasses and looked around.

I was still frozen in shock. If Gandhi had just appeared and asked C-3PO for directions to the wrestling match, I wouldn´t have been more surprised.

Then the unthinkable, dreadful thing happened. She spotted me and, to make things worse, she approached me.

"Hi," she chirped in a pleasant voice, "I´m looking for Peter. Do you know him?"

"Uh..." was what I managed to contribute to the conversation.

"Ooookayyy. I´m looking for a lanky guy. Star Wars fan." She looked at Chewbacca now. "Quite unkempt. Old clothes. Shy. Dark hair." She stuck her manicured forefinger into my chest. I didn´t mind. I wouldn´t have minded anything this being did to me, even if I had been able of coherent speech at the moment.

I mean, come on, what was going on here? Each one of my initial stable of sexual abusers was already way too attractive for me. I had been ridiculously mismatched with all of them, especially Anna. Okay, none of them had really put up with me, they just started a relationship with my cock. But this one - I couldn´t say she was more beautiful than Anna. They were about in the same league. But this one oozed a self-confidence that bordered on arrogance. She was dressed more stylish, moved more elegant, she exuded a sex-appeal that even Anna just couldn´t match.

So she was supposed to not even look at me, let alone talk to me. She waited patiently while I finished my complicated line of thought. And then the unthinkable happened - she even started to smile.

The thing is - even Anna was not supposed to happen in my life. As unsatisfying as our relationship had been - she wasn´t supposed to be even in my close vicinity. And now the second specimen of that mythical species called dream women was approaching me? Reality was obviously undergoing a series of severe glitches at the moment. This wasn´t meant to happen outside of my fantasies or internet sex stories.

"Okay, I´ll try to make this simple for you. You just have to nod, okay?"

I nodded, still surprised that I had apparently only lost my shyness around the four notorious cock abusers. The knowledge that I was just a noninvolved observer of their relationship with my cock had maybe relaxed me somehow.

"Good boy. Now, is your name Peter?" She didn´t seem arrogant while asking this. She surprised me by just being friendly and cordial.

Again, I nodded in confirmation.

"Great. We´re making progress, I feel some real chemistry building here." She laughed and it looked and sounded marvelous. "Do you know why Anna approached you?"

Oh, wow. I had never thought about that. No, I didn´t, come to think about it. I wasn´t even aware that this stunner knew Anna at all.

So I shook my head.

"Well, some girl named Emmy seems to have been quite drunk one day. And she let some interesting information slip out about your abilities in bed."

"Ah."

"Look, Jim, it can speak." I had to laugh about that fake Star Trek quote. Marvelous. How did she know how to handle me so well? "Can we go to your apartment?"

"Umm, you know..."

"Yeah, I know exactly what to expect. I have two small brothers."

"Ah... Okay. Take a deep breath before you enter." She just smiled and of course she looked marvelous while she did it. I bet she even looked marvelous while she took a crap.

So we sat on my unmade bed and I had nothing to offer such a lady apart from the orange juice bottle I had drunken from during the night. I thought it might be wise to omit this courtesy, not that she did seem to mind at all.

"Okay, Peter. Why am I here?"

"You want sex?" Yes, that´s what I should have asked. And you know what? I actually did, surprising myself. Of course, to any observer the question would have sounded ridiculous. But I just couldn´t think of any other reason she might be here. It was unlikely that she was enticed by my eloquence, nor did she seem to be in need of a freshly compiled Linux kernel or my vast SciFi collection. And she definitely wasn´t here because she was enticed by my looks. So the only rational explanation was that she had heard of my somewhat weird sexual relationship with the four women that had used me in the past.

Although it was the most logical explanation, I still embraced myself for the grandmother of all slaps across the face. But it didn´t happen.

"Smart boy. You´re exactly right, I want to have sex. With you, to be more specific."

"Uh..." was all that excaped my mouth. This was plain bizarre, but I was almost used to be in such situations meanwhile.

"Good question. I´m glad that you mention it and I´ll explain that later." I liked her humor. "First, how have I heard of you? I had a talk with my friend Anna. She had a problem and I had one. And as it is the norm with two girlfriends, we had a lengthy talk about it.

"Her problem is that she has cheated on her beloved husband. And that he is quite upset about it, has attacked Anna´s lover, is facing legal problems because of it and doesn´t believe that she will remain faithful from now on. She has no idea how she can convince him of that, mainly because she isn´t all that convinced herself. You see, she doesn´t like her lover particularly or finds him overly attractive. But she´s addicted to his cock and his abilities in bed. So she needs to come up with a plan to stay away from him and convince Martin that she has ended it for good.

"My problem is quite different. My fiancée has dropped me because he thinks that I´m frigid. And I´m terribly afraid he might be right. I´ve never had an orgasm with a man in my whole life. Yes, you don´t have to ask, I´ve tried sex with girls and with dildos. The overall sensation with another girl is slightly better, but unfortunately I´m not gay." I sat there with my jaw resting firmly on my knees. This was some kind of super-model, I still didn´t know her name, but I knew her sexual preferences and problems. How bizarre is that? "Dildos just don´t cut the mustard too. You know, this "frigid" thing has to be clarified, I´m not tending towards self-doubts."

I just nodded.

"Hey, you were not supposed to agree at this point!" But she laughed and gently jabbed me in the ribs. Boy, what a great woman. She wasn´t arrogant at all, this was just self-confidence. She was extremely nice, in fact. And did she mention anything about us having sex earlier? I started to wonder when I was going to wake up.