Missing Ch. 31-40

I'd lost my appetite, and I put my silverware down. "I'm all right," I lied. "If you'll excuse me, I have to get to work." I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I was in my SUV a minute later, driving quickly off Pack grounds. I felt a few people pushing at me over the mind link, but I ignored them.

I arrived at the Sheriff's Department fifty minutes later. I sat in the seat for a few minutes to compose myself, wiping my face clear of tears and girding myself for the day. I didn't even see the man coming up to my door until he knocked on the window, making me jump. It was unforgivable for a werewolf to let someone sneak up that close! It reinforced to me how withdrawn my wolf had become, and I couldn't afford that. I mentally kicked her awake, laughing as she yawned and stretched in my mind.

I tossed the Kleenex in the garbage and rolled down the window. "Good morning, Max."

"Thank God you're back," Detective Plunk said as he leaned down on the door. "It's been hell without you here. I'm afraid the paperwork on my desk is going to bury me."

Yep, that's about right. I bet the stacks were several feet high by now. "I guess it's a good thing I'm on limited duty, then. Buy me a coffee, and I'll see what I can do."

"Deal." He stepped back as I opened the door and got out. As a senior staff member, I had a reserved spot five places to the left of the door. Max was between me and the Sheriff's cruiser when the wind carried a familiar scent to me.

I froze, looking around for the source. I caught a glimpse of a rifle barrel sticking out from the bushes by the Kenduskeag Stream bridge a block away. "GUN!"

I dropped down and rolled towards the cruiser as shots rang out in bursts of five shots. I moved between the parked cars as my pistol cleared leather, my off-hand grabbing my radio. The gunman was still firing, the AK-47 rounds slamming into the Sheriff's SUV and sending glass flying. "OFFICER NEEDS HELP, FRONT ENTRANCE SHERIFF'S STATION, SHOTS FIRED! ONE SUSPECT WITH RIFLE NEXT TO THE BRIDGE!" The shooter paused as the dispatcher repeated the alert, and I brought my pistol up around the rear bumper.

Blade was coming my way with a fresh 30-round magazine into his rifle. Forty yards with a pistol against a rifle? Not good odds for me, and would only get worse with time. I aimed and shot twice, forcing him to seek cover. A second later, the outlaw biker opened up on me as I crawled back towards the building. "Max! Lay down some fire!"

I reached the front bumper and could see Max's leg. Peeking around the edge, I saw why he hadn't fired. He'd taken a bullet to the temple, and the top of his head was missing. Blood was everywhere on the sidewalk and the brick wall.

I couldn't do anything for him. I took cover behind the wheel, and when Blade's shooting paused again, I popped up, acquired my target, and pulled the trigger on my Ed Brown Signature 1911.

The State Police shooting team would congratulate me later for a hell of a shot. My Speer 230-grain +P Gold Dot cartridge at thirty-two yards made its entrance just below Blade's right nostril. The.45-inch elastomer-filled hollow point expanded as it penetrated his skull, exiting the back of his head at twice the diameter and taking his brain stem with it.

He was dead before he hit the ground.

I didn't know that until later. After taking my shot, I ducked back behind cover and ran away while hunched over, using the parked cars to screen me. I wasn't going to let Blade get a bead on me or trap me between the cars.

Shooting a pistol with no hearing protection, followed by an adrenaline dump, is enough to make you feel like you are underwater. I could make out a few sounds as I ran for cover. Tires squealed, sirens approached from all directions, and the entrance door slammed open. I ducked around the corner and stood with my back to the brick, pistol down and catching my breath. I keyed the radio. "Officer down. One shooter with a full-auto AK-47. Get someone up on the rooftop, and bring your fucking rifles!"

Two Deputies came out the side door with patrol rifles, running over to my position. "Fuck! You all right, Bonnie?"

"He killed Max," I replied.

"Stay here." The two moved into the parking lot, covering each other as they leapfrogged from cover to cover. I kept my pistol ready, peaking around the corner.

"Shooter is down," someone broadcasted. "Send EMS to the front entrance."

No one else had fired, so I must have hit him. I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the sidewalk. "Have responding officers set up a two-block perimeter," I said into the radio. "I heard tires squealing, so he may not have been alone. Stay alert."

I holstered my weapon and put my head on my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs until I was in a ball.

I knew it was Blade. The Horsemen were trying to kill me so that I couldn't testify. He missed me, and I didn't miss him.

But I got Max killed.

Ch. 33

Bonnie Woods' POV

State Police Troop E Headquarters

Bangor, Maine

"Can I get you something to drink, Detective Sergeant?"

"Bonnie, please. Some water?" The young female trooper grabbed a bottle from the fridge and handed it to me. She was so new that she squeaked, and everything was new and exciting. It had been almost twenty-five years since I was a rookie. I felt old and tarnished, and today hadn't helped. I smiled at the girl who I hadn't met before this morning. "Thank you, Lori."

"I can't imagine how you feel right now. It hasn't been that long." The last time I'd seen Sean's picture on the wall was when he took over the Troop. The State sent a photographer down after his promotion to Lieutenant. He looked dashing in his dress uniform, the eight-by-ten photograph on the wall with Maine State Police leadership. Now it was on another wall, with those killed on the job, a black ribbon on the corner. I froze and started to cry when I saw it, and they quickly took me to the Lieutenant's conference room so everyone wouldn't see me breaking down.

Lori was my watcher while the shooting team gathered information. The Sheriff's Department was a crime scene now. After the medics checked me out, they drove me here. "Anything else you need, just let me know." She closed the door and left me to my thoughts.

After an officer-involved shooting, there is a protocol to be followed. The Sheriff had to deal with notifications, so Beta Mark was in charge at the scene. He relieved me of my phone and firearms and then assigned a Bangor Police officer to stay with me. Everyone involved has to remain segregated and supervised until the interviews with the Shooting Team get done, so we can't 'come up with a story.' The Team working for the Attorney General consists of a State Prosecutor and investigators from independent law enforcement agencies. The Penobscot County Sheriff's Department couldn't investigate one of their own.

Today was my third time discharging my firearm, but the first fatality. The rules were pretty standard; I'd be on administrative leave after finishing with the shooting team until a Grand Jury cleared me. It shouldn't take long since Blade shot at us first. Max was dead before my sidearm cleared leather, and it should be textbook self-defense.

I'd spoken with a rep from the Maine Association of Police about my rights already. I could delay talking to the investigators for up to 72 hours. I was still shaking, so he recommended invoking that right. "No," I said. "I don't want to come back here again, and they don't intimidate me."

In the end, it was after lunch before they were ready to talk to me. Two investigators entered the conference room, followed by my union representative. After introductions, we spent the next two hours discussing in detail what happened in about thirty seconds total. After the discussion was over, we went back to the scene for the walkdown, with me wearing a Level 3 vest with hard plates. Blade may be dead, but his gang was still out there somewhere.

"Why do you think he started firing from way over there," the lead investigator asked.

"I don't know," I said. "I don't think the plan was to go after me like this. Max walked right up to the window, and I didn't catch on. Blade could have walked through the parking lot and executed me from less than ten feet. Maybe he arrived late?"

"We're still trying to figure out who dropped him off. We can't find any vehicle within five blocks we can link to him."

I looked from the chalk outline in the parking lot to the bloody outline on the sidewalk where Max had died. "He had about eight seconds where I was in the open before I'd reach the front door. If he'd been a better shot, I'd be dead."

"If you weren't a great shot, you'd be dead." There wasn't much more to say, so he concluded the interview. Sheriff Ty was waiting for me when I went inside. I handed him my badge, and he told me to go home until he called me back to work. "What about my car?"

"Impounded, and I don't know how it will drive with five bullet holes in the back," he replied. "Anthony has someone coming to pick you up, and you'll be escorted home by two cars. Stay with Anthony and let him protect you until these fuckers are locked up."

If they came on Pack lands, they'd die quickly. "Who's coming?"

"You'll see," he said with a smile. "Your Alpha had a car coming through anyway. They should be outside by now." He walked with me to the back door, where a few friends were waiting. Both deputies escorting me were werewolves, three if you included Gabe's K-9 mate Christina. One of the junior Pack Warriors opened the door, and I froze at the scent.

"Luna Adrienne?"

"Need a ride, Bonnie?"

"Oh yeah!" I got in the back seat and wrapped my arms around my friend and former Luna. "Congratulations on your mating!"

The faint scars on her neck were visible to our kind, and Leo's scent had combined with hers. "Thank you." Adrienne was Luna of the Miesville Pack, so we didn't share a Pack link anymore. "What are you doing here?"

"Packing for my move," she said with a laugh. "I didn't head to Minnesota thinking I was going to find a mate there." On the way home, she filled me in on everything that had happened since she left on Council business a few weeks ago.

Three days later, Alpha Anthony called me to his office before dinner. Beta Mark and Sheriff Ty were with him, and the Sheriff returned my badge and gun. "The Grand Jury took about two seconds to no-bill me on the shooting," Ty said.

"Can I return in the morning?"

His shoulders slumped. "We don't think that would be a good idea," the Sheriff said. "The FBI and DEA are still trying to tie your kidnapping and the ambush on the Iron Horsemen. So far, we don't have any additional evidence we can use to obtain indictments."

"And that means you are still in danger," Mark added. "For your safety, we need to get you out of here. We're sending you to a place you can be protected while still working on finding Sean's killers."

I looked at the three, confusion on my face. "You're putting me into witness protection?"

"Worse," Alpha Anthony said with a smile. "We're putting you to work. Luna Adrienne will be returning to the Miesville Pack in Minnesota in two days. Pamela and I will be driving the U-Haul with her stuff. You will be driving her car."

"Minnesota?"

He nodded. "You'll stay with the Miesville Pack until it is safe to return. It's close enough to Minneapolis FBI office that you can continue your investigations there."

I rolled my eyes. "The Feds aren't happy with me after what happened on the DEA task force."

"The FBI doesn't like interstate kidnapping, drug trafficking, or ambushes of law enforcement agents. The Assistant Special Agent in Charge of the Minneapolis office is one of us. You'll get all the cooperation you need."

It was a lot to take. "What about my job here?"

"Your work assignment is to an FBI task force, so you still get paid until you retire. That's in how long?"

"March 27^th if I don't take any more vacation." The date was circled on my calendar. "I'll go pack."

"This will be good for everyone, Bonnie," Anthony said. "Mom is too proud to admit it, but she can use someone watching her back too."

"I'll keep her safe," I promised.

I owed her that much.

Ch. 34

Bonnie Woods' POV

Highway 61, North of LaCrosse, Minnesota

Wednesday, January 29^th, 2020

"Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger

Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home..."

Well, Adrienne was driving home. I was on assignment, We were twenty-four hours into a twenty-six hour road trip, and her slightly off-key singing was keeping me awake. She had the playlist on her phone going through the sound system in the Lexus LX, and was on an Eagles kick. It didn't matter; I'd been in and out of sleep since the bathroom stop at the Oasis near Rockford, Illinois. I didn't even get out when we stopped for gas in Tomah. Alpha Anthony and Luna Pamela were driving the U-Haul, and we were both switching up driving and sleeping. Pamela and I had driven the vehicles through the night so we wouldn't hit the traffic in Chicago during the day.

It almost worked. Chicago has traffic at four in the morning, and Adrienne could sleep through anything if her wolf felt safe. Mine was always on edge, knowing she was responsible for her former Luna's life.

"And freedom, oh freedom, well that's just some people talkin'

Your prison is walking through this world all alone."

Freedom. What a joke. Freedom for werewolves is found running through the woods with the wind in their fur and the smell of their prey in their noses. Humans dream of the freedom to do whatever they want. For our kind, that freedom means you are outside a Pack, with no Alpha, no rank, and no place. It is not something your wolf would choose voluntarily, rather a punishment leading to a slow descent into madness. We need, we CRAVE the feeling of belonging that comes with a Pack.

That's one reason why my wolf is unsettled. My Pack position flowed from my mate; as a Warrior pair, we had responsibilities and status. Now that Sean was gone? It was all in flux. Others had to take over the duties of our fallen wolf, and I'd been unable to contribute for months. My Pack position was in flux, and that wasn't a good thing for me or my wolf. I didn't even have my law enforcement career to fall back on; I'd barely avoided discipline for disobeying orders on the Task Force, and now I was being hidden away until I reached retirement age. I didn't blame them for the actions; I knew what I was risking when I accepted Blade's date. I'd made the decision, and I had to live with the consequences.

If my Pack position was now driver/bodyguard, so be it. At least I had a place.

"Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?

The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine."

That summed up my life right now. Sleeping alone sucked; I'd roll around and ruin the covers and never find my big naked heater. As for the weather, yeah. It was winter in Maine. If the sun was shining, it must be below zero.

"It's hard to tell the night time from the day

You're losin' all your highs and lows

Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?"

I don't think the feelings ever go away. Death would end it, and once again I cursed my mate for making me swear I'd keep living. I'd lost all my highs, and couldn't escape my lows. Was continued existence all that was left?

"Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?

Come down from your fences, open the gate

It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you

You better let somebody love you (let somebody love you)

You better let somebody love you

Before it's too late."

"Luna? Can you pause that for a minute?"

I sat up in the passenger seat, raising the back from its full recline position. I wasn't going to get any sleep now anyway. Luna Adrienne touched her phone and paused her album. "Morning, Bonnie. We're about two hours out."

I looked up; we were on a four-lane highway in river bluff country. The exposed limestone rose in places hundreds of feet up, evidence of a time when the Mississippi River was far larger than the one below and to the right. It was snow-covered and beautiful, and the temperature was up to a balmy minus-seven Fahrenheit. The U-Haul was a couple hundred feet ahead of us, puttering along at sixty-five miles an hour. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure, Bonnie."

"Was it worth it?"

She glanced over at me then back to the road. "Was what worth it?"

"Living," I said. "I saw how badly you suffered after your mate died, and I'm finding out how difficult it is to keep going when your heart just wants to end it all. You could have turned the Pack over when Anthony came of age and ended your life, but you didn't. I need to know why."

"Are you having those thoughts still, Bonnie?"

I couldn't lie to her; she knew me too well. "I don't want to, but I am. Every time I wake up with him not there, every time I see something that reminds me of Sean, it's like the scab pulls off again. I think the cruelest thing Sean ever did to me was to get me to swear that oath." I'd sworn to Sean and the Moon Goddess that if he died, I would live on and seek happiness again. "At the time, we were both young, and he was in the Army. There was a real chance he wouldn't come home again, so it made sense. A young widow has all the time in the world to find another."

Adrienne didn't speak for a while, and when she did, it wasn't the answer I expected. "It was pride," she said softly.

"Pride?"

"Yes. My mate and I worked hard, and we were respected Alphas. The Baxter Pack had thrived under our leadership, and I couldn't stand the thought of Baxter losing power and prestige after Nathan's death. Anthony and Pamela are good wolves, but they were young and would need guidance. She hadn't grown up as the daughter of Alphas, so she had a lot to learn. I convinced myself that I had to stay around to help them out, that it would be cruel to end my life while they still needed me. After a few years, they needed me less and less, but by then I'd been recruited into the Council and found I was good at the job. As long as I felt I was needed, I had a reason to get up in the morning." She reached a hand over and took mine. "What gets you up in the morning, Bonnie?"

"My alarm," I joked.

The Luna wasn't going to let me off that easily. "Then what gets you out of bed?"

"Revenge," I admitted.

"And when revenge is gone, then what?"

"I don't know." I really didn't. "My oath? Obligation? I mean, look at my life. I'm a forty-six year old orphaned werewolf. My mate is gone, and my sterility and our jobs meant we never had children. I'm about to retire at the Sheriff's Department, and I'm in hiding because a biker gang wants me dead. Some catch, huh? Hell of an icebreaker at Pack meet-ups."

I looked out the window and wondered why Adrienne was saying nothing instead of arguing with me. Maybe she was linking with my Alpha pair, warning them that I was becoming unstable again. That was one way out; if the madness came, either Anthony or the Council would end me before I became a danger to Packs or Humans.

When she spoke again, I could feel the emotion in her voice. "The life I have now makes everything I suffered through in the last decade worth it," she told me. "I have a Mate and a Pack again. Nothing will ever replace what I had with Nathan, but my wolf and my soul made room for someone new. Luna made sure I stayed alive until Leo was ready to find me." She pointed at the U-Haul ahead of her. "I'm leaving behind my family, friends, and job, moving halfway across the country to a Pack that didn't exist last year. And I can't wait to get there."