All Comments on 'Moans Veneris Ch. 03'

I have noticed in each of your 3 chapters so far they have only had sex in 1 position. Now i know for a male who only just lost his virginity a few weeks prior he may not have much experience with other positions jeremy would be fine with that, but as readers i know i want a little varierty, and as good as the story is if they are only going to do 1 position i won't read all of it, especially when you say she has had sex alot, it just doesn't feel real if this was going to be their "last" time.

Great story but please change it up a little, and my biggest compliment i can give you besides in the second chapter, you have kept it great where he doesn't come inside of her, and it was kinda needed in the second chapter, to set the pace, but in too many stories on this site you have the characters in so many stories just rampently cumming inside with no sense of realism that the female character could get pregnant, so that is 1 of the things i really like about your story.

There is no sense of a rush to completion between your characters. Granted that is based on reading the chapters in order. Interactions between these two has a realism so few can accommodate in their story telling.

Do you have a co-author?

Someone who proof reads and helps you to convey both a male and female perspective so well.

Excellent work!

Ch.2 I didn't like so much, and I realize now, it was because the sex was too much like rape, and that turns me off entirely. Here, Jerry still uses Jenny's emotions to persuade her to sex, but she gives in so readily it's obvious she is very willing. She must have gotten something good from the other experiences that she never felt before, in spite of her brother's shitty taking advantage of her. And he did do as he promised, and pull out - though even that can be a bit dangerous, since there can be a bit of sperm in the pre-cum. So there is a possibility that the siblings will really find their love. Waiting to see.

Writing's not bad, but, in the previous chapters you emphasized that the twin's beds were on opposite sides of a common wall. Now her vanity occupies this common wall. You are attempting to include too many details and screwing up the story with conflicts. Keep writing, but watch the TMI.

Love how they are starting to fall for each other. It makes a very sweet story, especially between twins :)

She doesnt kiss him till the final segment of the video.

But the sister being too much a whore and the constant reminder kills the mood of the story. The girls doesn't have to be virgin with no experience but you also don't have magnify the fact that she has had sex before. Sorry just could get into this story