All Comments on 'Model Citizen'

Simply wonderful! The copious details carefully build the heat, creating a fully realized erotic world, with characters we care about. This is how superb erotica is done: with style, with humor, with surprise. It’s about the journey, not the destination. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

Enthusiastic writer, but needs better editing.

I really enjoyed your artistic tale, great first effort, you should be pleased!

Wow. Quite the debut. Loved the style, great build to a climax. Can’t wait for more from this author.

Keep it up

Great an amazing & amusing story. Wish I had had such an experience in my modelling days years ago. Next story please

Well done! Sometimes I get bored with stories ... they are either too quick or too slow. You set a perfect pace ... created the setting nicely, and then some great action. Plenty of details to let me imagine I was there, and at the same time, few enough details that my own imagination could fill in the rest. Thank you!

Loved the story and your writing skills. Hope you continue to write!,

Bravo! Hot story. Well written (although you made me nervous with the “righting” typo before the story started). I have seen this theme before (search here the is a good one where the teacher forces a couple together, very hot). In terms of criticism my only real advice is do not rush, I think you could have drawn out the escalating couples poses narrative. I certainly would like to have read more.

One question, so Caroline was going in and out of view during the last pose, when he saw her it was obvious she was getting flustered. Then afterwards when all is said and done, she approaches when he has his robe on, and “Caroline appeared at my side. She seemed a little more relaxed.” did we miss a scene where she was quietly but fiercely grinding against an easel at the back of the room or running to the bathroom for a moment of intrnde private time?

I assume Caroline was particularly interested in seeing him naked (I hope we see this play out in part two!) but unless she is really impressively clueless, she had to be aware of the hot-live-sex-show, and if I had designs on someone, watching the person you are interested in have scorching sex with someone else not once but twice, would take the wind out of my sails.

I am likely out of touch and old fashioned, maybe everyone has sex with an audience casually these days. If you ever get this produced as a film I would like to be the first in line to order a copy.

Cant wait for the next instalment

Hi, just thought I should let you know I've come back to this story a few times now. Really enjoy several aspects of it, and would be more than interested in the follow up if it's in the works :)

Just found this story, it is great and I can’t wait to read the next!

I really enjoyed this story, and as others have written, we are looking forward to the next chapter!

Wonderful thanks

Great story and suspense.

This needs to be continued IMMEDIATELY!

I guess Caroline will have to make it WORTH HIS WHILE in the next chapter?