All Comments on 'Mom and I Revelations'

I GUESS THIS WOULD BE ONE REASON A FULL OUT FAMILY FUCK FEST AND FAMILY SWINGING PARTIES AIN'T SUCH A GREAT IDEA! I MEAN, TWO OF MY SISTERS HAVE HAD SOME GREAT TIMES IN BED BUT I KNOW THEIR KIDS AIN'T MINE, lol THE STORY GOT ME A LITTLE CONFUSED. I HAD TO LOAD IT INTO MY TEXT READER, TEXTALOUD AND LISTEN TO IT TO FINALLY SAY, "WHAT A FUCKING MESS, NO WONDER THE WORLD IS SO FUCKED UP".

You still haven't comprehended the storyline, if you think the first two couples that were swapping were incestuous or that the incestuous pairings are getting pregnant.

They got off too easy, Derek forgave too easy.

Forgive who for what? He's in an open relationship with Angie. Why would he need to forgive something he already gave her permission to do?? Is this an unclear concept, somehow?

to keep track of who's your daddy...

This is the one problem I have with braided family multigenerational incest series... after a while there are too many links to keep track of. Once I no longer care about who's doing what to who ('cause I've burned out trying to keep track) then the incest becomes less of a hook to draw me into the story, and (typically) there isn't enough other stuff or interesting character development going on in the story to keep me interested.

Yes, you can still get me interested in a big orgy scene, but after you start having to keep schedules and having to juggle who knows what and where it stops being about sexy time and becomes more like work. Work for them to do their scheduling and juggling and lying to people, and work for me trying to follow that hairball.

You need a scorecard for a cast of seven, with a handful of off-canvas characters mentioned? You'd be totally lost watching most soap operas, then.

I don't like soaps. I'm just not one for the big braided storylines, either in books or on TV. Too many characters often means not enough time with some characters.

I'm not dissing your story, I'm saying I don't like that kind of story, its my weakness, and none of your doing.

Character focus is actually one of the reasons I prefer to write in first person, to keep the spotlight on one central character and his interactions with others, rather than write in third person and get drawn into writing every interaction between all characters. By only having to write the conversations and sex scenes that involve Derek directly, I'm also not jumping back and forth between characters, bedrooms, etc.

I'm just not one for stories with 'a cast of thousands.' Even if their interaction is mediated thru the protagonist's viewpoint. I CAN tell you where my distaste for soaps came from, its from exposure as a young child, where they were extra-confusing because:

A lot of what they said made no sense to a 4-5 year old

A lot of what they did made no sense to a 4-5 year old

PLUS the soaps tendency to braid things together and stretch things out over many shows (FAR beyond a 4-5 year old's attention span, even if they cared).

We hates them, we does.

But you should write what and how YOU want, I'm just one voice on the internet. Plenty of readers out there enjoy this series, and would love to see more.

so rather than giving you less than 5 stars i'm passing. i thought the first 3 chapters were great, and gave them 5 stars, but i too found this chapter was more like "who's on first". a lot of "are we related, how, who......" just got confusing. it may only be 7 or 8 characters, much less than in "Fourth year after", but it was just hard to follow. sorry. and i really like your stuff. i'm looking forward to your next story!!!

This IS the third submission in the series, so your comment that the first three were great doesn't jibe. Since I can express the revelations in one sentence - Tommy and Jessica switched fathers and Tommy and Angie discovered a shared grandfather - I have to wonder if it is the revelations that are confusing or how I had the characters explain them.

not 3!. i better learn my math! and i've the given the same "5 stars" with all your prior work that i've read, as i mentioned. and many of your stories have multiple characters. but i've always followed them. And i like them! i re-read this story. i think the combo of the conniving, the dna tests, the swapping, girlfriends, lovers, the discovery of "new" family members and "maneuvering" by different relatives around by others really occurring in a page, maybe page and 1/2 lost me. i understood it a lot better the second time - it made more sense and i followed the story line - but i don't think a reader should have to do that in order to follow the story. just my 2 cents.

I divided the revelations between morning and afternoon to provide a one-two punch and not pack everything into one scene. Would delaying it all until Tommy arrived have been easier to swallow?

with the duplicity, speed and number of changes in relationships - both personal and blood, in a short period of time with not enough reflection by the individuals and group. i re-read it again, and liked it even less! in a few paragraphs on pg. 2, for example, tommy surprises everyone by arriving. i learn he has been having a secret relationship with Jess and Angie. angie has clearly lied to Derrick, in turns out Angie was sent by tommy to encourage derrick to have sex with his mom , tommy is not derrick's brother, but stan's son. Jessica is not a cousin to derrick but a 1/2 sister (i think). jessica had sex with her dad - knowing it was her dad, but sam didn't know she was his daughter. so everyone is being duplicitous and it appears everyone is using everyone else. where is the "good-guy" here? there's not a compelling "good" character. and then they all break into 2 cliques and go have sex. i just seems all f*cked up. sorry. you know how much i like your work. its always excellent. may but be this could have had less duplicitous relationships, less "lying". also perhaps a "recap" of the info by the group after they finished the results/changes but before the sex - have everyone just "walk thru" who they were now, that may have help clarify the changes. and some remorse/forgiveness for some bad behavior before the sex. thats my 2 cents. but please keep writing!!!!! you're a gifted writer. whats one small glitch!!!!

The trio kept secrets, more than they lied, but even that fell mostly on Angie's shoulders, between Tommy's graduation and the start of the series. Tommy was away in Chicago for six months, and the Rosettis (other than Tommy) had no contact with Jessica for six years.

Except for questioning her resemblance to Marcy, Angie didn't do anything to push Derek towards his mother, until talking to Stan, leading into the opening of "Get Even". Even that was meant as a gentle nudge of Stan to stop blocking the door, but Derek needed to choose to walk through that door himself. He was not pushed.

Derek and Tommy are not unrelated - Marcy is their mother, so they're half-brothers.

Two distinct goals were being served by the DNA testing and revelations. 1) Reveal Jessica as Stan's daughter, AFTER he's slept with her, or he never would have. 2) Make both brothers be related to the other's fiancee, but not their own, so that there are degrees of both legal and illegal incest within the younger quad but the two couples can still marry. That meant that Tommy needed to be revealed as Sam's son, to keep him from being Jessica's half-brother, too. I considered revealing Angie as Sam's daughter to make her Tommy's half-sister, but couldn't make that work as well as revealing Sam as her half-uncle and Tommy as her "75% cousin".

I could certainly have removed the prior triad from the plot altogether, kept Tommy in Chicago for Thanksgiving and then gotten him tested so that his results don't arrive until a Christmas/New Years-timed story during which Tommy wouldn't know whether Jessica is his sister, then have the second set of revelations, five weeks later and start the romance between Tommy and Jessica after that. But this seemed more dramatic and fits into other plotting that happens later. Having Jessica be the one who first has the idea of all seven of them maybe being together in a more long-term way doesn't work very well if all the incest is a surprise to her at this time. Having the idea arise after finding about Marcy's desire while she's also thinking Tommy is her brother works better and continuing to keep their relationship a secret lets the idea bloom (or fester, if you want to be negative about it).

Yes, Stan forgives Jessica and Derek forgives Angie more quickly than would likely happen in real life with other betrayals. But this is a fantasy. None of this would (or should) happen in real life. So, if the characters react to what happens in a way that continues having them love each other, that's part of the fantasy, too. This isn't about writing with total realism. Otherwise, they would all wind up in jail and the family would be ruined. Read it as a fantasy, as if some wizard's spell or an alien sex beam compelled them to act this way, if lust isn't enough excuse.

All that information from Tommy, Angie and Jessica came to fast for me to understand. I didn't undersand how any of them are related. If Tommy is Angie's half brother how does the father fit in? Same mom? Different fathers each? Another thing for me, Tommy decided to share Angie with his brother to get him to bed his mom? That part kind of threw me off. while father making use of future daughter in law was ok by me. I couldn't wrap my mind around brothers sharing. Don't ask me why. All that coniving and lies by Angie would have taken me longer to forgive. I have to tell you that when I read a story I really put myself in there. and Angie and Tommy were making me mad with all her lies. I know its just a fantasy, but when you put yourself in the story you start to develope feelings for the characters. And I felt sorry for Derek after he was told of how Angie had been going out with Tommy first. I don't know but I don't think I could have stayed with her. Anyway it was a good story. hope to read a lot more from you.

Tommy and Jessica switched fathers (Sam vs Stan), resulting in both of them being Derek's half-siblings, but still not biologically related to each other. Angie and Tommy discovered they share a grandfather, making them closer cousins than anticipated.

Those are the DNA test discoveries, in two sentences.

Getting Marcy to react to Angie was not Tommy's primary motive in giving Angie permission/encouragement to be with Derek. Tommy was headed to Chicago and his primary relationship is with Jessica, so he was letting Angie go. He didn't arrange for the internship, so Angie and Derek were going to meet, regardless. Tommy correctly predicted that Derek would be attracted to Angie. Angie's relationships with Tommy and Jessica were secret, so Angie continued keeping them secret. Keeping secrets means lies of omission. The only direct lie Angie told was "I didn't know Tommy well."

But it does seem strange to hear "I get close to the characters" in the same breath as "I can't keep track of their parentage/relatedness."

After reading Your Trilogy I must say, You did a great job of Putting It Together!

You didn't rush it, and kept everything in perspective.

The whole blood relationship thing was complicated but whatever. What bothered me (and generally will in most stories) is the lying /deceit. The older brother was in a triad relationship and SENT one of his girlfriends (the one who happens to look like the mom, but Tommy wasn't as hung up on mom... sure) to his younger brother in the hopes of a domino effect of his younger brother finally getting with his mom (Marcy) all so that the older brother could sleep with both moms and both girlfriends.

The fact that Angie actually developed deep feelings for Derek was an accident. If things had happened as planned, Angie would not have had the deeper love for Derek. So potentially Derek MAY have had sex with his mom as desired but then Angie would have gone back to the original triad with Tommy and left Derek single, possibly heart broken from losing a girlfriend he loved, possibly not gotten his mom and by extension Jilly and Jessica, all so Tommy could gamble on getting some more pussy.

While it seems that everything has worked out, Derek did seem to get over Angie's (and brother's) deceit very fast with no anger. Not even a hey we should talk about this and acknowledge the HUGE lie that was the start of their relationship. Instead he didn't even delay the proposal a single hour to work through his feelings. Meanwhile a previous chapter had him and mom talking through consequences so we know he is capable of thinking with more than his dick.

@Wash2015: Tommy didn't SEND Angie to Derek. The internships were going to get them to meet, regardless and Tommy was right in predicting that Derek would be attracted to her. The question was what Angie would say when Derek inevitably asked whether she had met Tommy. That decision to hide the triad simply continued secrecy which the three of them had already established, keeping their relationship a secret from ALL of their parents, for varying reasons, including not knowing why Stan and Marcy had pulled away from Jilly at first.

Once they learned about the pact between Stan and Marcy, the goal became to end it and the strife it was causing. Keep in mind that a reunion with Jilly also affected Jessica's desires for Stan, so she had a reason to want the pact to end, too. The triad focused on getting Stan to change his mind, rather than Marcy's. You could then say it was a mutual decision to send Angie to STAN, to discuss Derek's attraction to Marcy, to get Stan to relent. Could it have resulted in Stan deciding to end the pact *without* having sex with Angie? Sure. But this is erotica and getting folks to fuck is what we do here. So Marcy and Derek have sex in response to that instead of Marcy seducing Derek after receiving permission from Stan, but the effect is the same.

Very exciting trilogy, so far! My question is, if you spent the time to develop your family members and went into

sex details (oral & penetration) you excluded anal sex. Both light touching, slight finger penetration or even

anal sex. I feel anal sex is the ultimate thrill and could have elevated your readers scores to your stories.

Thank you.

@Anallicker01:

I don't write anal intercourse, for the main reason that I've never DONE anal in real life, beyond a finger up the butt a time or two. To write anal, I'd have to mimic what other writers write about it and that feels a bit too much like plagiarism to me. So, I simply choose to write characters who don't have anal sex (beyond a few stories where a finger got pushed up there).

No matter how you slice it, I would have gone nuclear on Tommy, Angie and Jessica for being played. No way would I have given her a ring that night. I would have walked out on all of them.

@anonymous: What YOU would do in that situation is immaterial. Derek chose to forgive, both Angie's involvement with Stan and her involvement with Tommy and Jessica. After all, they had already agreed to an open relationship, with Derek having sex with a fuck-buddy on his campus. It would be hypocrisy for him to deny Angie the same. Is that a situation you would agree to? Maybe not. But I'm not writing about you, I'm writing Derek's story. And he did agree to it.