by beachsf
so far so good, i do appreciate your feedback and look forward to posting more chapters
i hope woodedtree, if he reads the story ,would approve
ladies, gentlemen....ideas you would like explored - let me know
Please don't get offended, I hope you are serious about suggestions.
Suggestions:
1. The Son gets permission/instruction by the Father to take his Mum on an adventure, sort of take care of her NEEDS, she seems submissive to me.
2. The other two I'm not so keen on having their way with the lady, don't like that sort of thing myself, hey but you are the writer.
3. Bondage, Dom guided exhibition, and generally forced orgasm, hey this is a fantasy isn't it?
4. But have Jr. in charge of Annie. All of the time. A good Dom would protect his property/charge.
5. I'd like to see some form of submission apart from the usual"get on your knees slut, and suck my cock", Hey it could be just me, but I think that has been done to death. Time for you to break the mold and turn LIT upside down. OK not literally, just something god-damned different.
6.Last not least work some more of her fantastic tits into the story, I love breast play. Who here has heard of a nipple-gasm?
Sorry everyone but I already know I'm a pervert. But I know what gets me HOT as well.
Yes, Yes this is the end.
Your story has a very good start. You have laid the foundation to add a number of very hot chapters. You have enough players to build to a very hot and sexy party. Looking forward to reading more
That's a pretty good start. Can't wait for the sequel
So he's begging his mother for permission to go with a friend for the weekend while at the same time he's telling her to pull down her top and to stroke his cock?
All in all a good start. However, before posting, set your story aside for a day or two. Then go back and proof read it in order to correct typos and other errors of omission, spelling etc.
You may, also, want to consider availing yourself to the free editing service on this site.
Keep up the good job of keeping us up.
pervdood