All Comments on 'Mom-in-law'

i need to hear how the rest of trip went, did jacob also let rose move in so he would have more time with his mother in law

There are so many mistakes in this that I wondered if you were doing it on purpose. Couldn't get into the story because of the mistakes. You need an editor!!¡

If she didn't have a bra on all day why would she put one on to go to bed?

It's been said this story is junk. too many mistakes.

"...(at least it was cheaper than catching a domestic plane)." Who writes likes this, unless you're from Alabama?

"I gave her another kissed on the back of her neck and we were there lying like two lovers --husband and wife- on the bed." This is a joke, right? Pick one.

And of course you ended with "to be continued." that's fourth grade novice writing that say you don't know how to close a chapter.

I admit that I concur with other comments so far. 1. You desperately need an editor to clean up grammatical errors and subject-verb agreement.. 2. I refer to my mother in law as “mother in law” only when I am talking about her and not when I talk directly to her.

3. You have a great beginning premise and I will read more if you can make the necessary adjustments.

4. Slow down the pace a little bit. If your story is going to be in parts (which I can only assume is the case), take the time to give details. Did she have dark areoles? Big nipples? Hair on her vagina or surprisingly smooth? I hope you get the idea.

5. Do not quit because of critiques, use them to make yourself a better writer. I look forward to the next release.

Give Jacob some chest hair for that sexy chest! Let her caress and taste him!

Thanks for the read.

When you proof read your story make sure it makes sense. When you write that something has already been told, check that you did write it before. I only got a few paragraphs in and found it too hard to follow.

Thank you all for your feedback. I would like to improve my upcoming stories and looking for any proof readers/editors.

In your opening paragraph, since you married Sarah, I think we could probably figure out that she was your wife. Likewise about the transfer. More than likely your wife would accompany you on your trips home. Don't waste words.

Your story has a good foundation, but need an editor to help you, as many noted above.

I enjoy MIL stories, so I do hope you continue this tale with improved writing.

...real people do not call their MIL by their title, they call them by their name.

Thank God, you didn't have your MIL responding instead of Jason, but "That's fine son-in-law, it won't be a problem. There are two beds anyways. Let's check-in."

Give us a break - poor execution of exchange between 'lovers'!

Oh god, I so messed up.. I can't believe this . I'm 51 and 15 weeks pregnant with my with my black son in law's baby. I moved in with my daughter and her husband a couple years ago. For the past year i have been having sex with my son in law on his days off. I didn't think I would or could get pregnant at 51. My daughter is furious with me even though it was her husband that refused to wear condoms. Everyone is going to know what goes on here. When we make love now he tells me he owns me know like he owns my daughter. I feel like i am owned too. I don't have a job. I don't own a car. I have to do what he says or he will kick me out. I am so mad at myself for letting this happen to me. I could have gotten a job and got my own place instead of let my son in law have his way with me.

You need an editor. Too many mistakes get distracting

Don't bother continuing it - not very good. Old, used story line, not believable characters, poor grammar and syntax. Really not good...

NOT TOO GOOD.

Too short and no real storyline.