All Comments on 'Mom, Thank You, Again'

This reads like a set of stereo instructions

step 1

step 2

step 3

etc

etc

etc

almost sterile and devoid of pacing.

The author needs to learn how to write, period. Apart from learning how to write full paragraphs, rather than one-sentence paragraphs, he/she needs to learn the proper use of expressions (he sat IN BETWEEN the two women, not IN THE MIDDLE of the two women) and how to handle even the simplest action sequences. An example of that is where Mom put the blindfold on Ron, told him what she wanted to do, and then he put the blindfold on.

Another thing that this author needs to learn is that fully half of the 'magic' in any tale of incest lies in how the couple (mom-son, dad-daughter, bro-sis, etc.) managed to look past the societal and religious taboos ingrained in each of us, over the centuries of civilization, to see the love that lies between them, and the potential for the two of them to have a wonderful life, together. The true enjoyment in reading a good incest story lies in watching the agonizing 'ballet' of a couple - say a mom and son - who have each secretly been madly in romantic love with the other for some time, but have been afraid to admit that fact to the other, for fear of possibly being labeled some sort of 'pervert'. Each struggles for months, trying to get past the taboos in their own minds, and then has to struggle with the notion of confronting the other person with their love.

And it's watching and waiting for that longed-for moment when one of them can conceal their love no longer, and opens up to the other about it, only to find that love reciprocated completely. It's watching that first passionate kiss between a mother and her son, and hearing their laughter as they each relate what they've been dealing with for the last few months and realize that they could have been sharing this love and intimacy so much sooner, had they had just a little more faith in each other.

It's following the son's anguished, concealed love for months or even years, and then experiencing with him the awe and wonder as he bares his soul to her at last - and then she bares herself fully to him, inviting him into her bed and into her body. It's the moment of their first shared orgasm, when they truly understand how much they can be, to each other. It's watching the two of them prepare coffee and breakfast, the next morning, reveling in the joys of the night before, and getting ready for the day, as they realize that theirs is a love that transcends the mere physical attraction.

It's even that moment, some months down the road, when Mom nervously reveals to her son that she is pregnant with his child, wondering how he will handle the news - and then her elation when he breaks out in a smiling, joyful cheer and tells her that he hopes that this baby is just the first of the many they will bring into the world, together, as the fruit of their love.

The author needs to learn how to capture all of this - and then he'll be writing stories that we can all rave about. For the moment, he/she is producing stuff that is better left unsubmitted.

they're gonna need a vacation to test up from that vacation!

This was a very difficult piece to read. No real substance and no dialogue. No character development meant thast we are left to wonder about the participants in this ridiculous story. I only wish I could give it less than one(1).

Finally get a good mom and son story and all you do is complain.

Why do you even come here??

I appreciate all your comments. I try to do the best I can in making the stories seem like real life. I don't like to clutter the stories with endless dialogue or back and forth talk. Anyway, I will continue trying to do the best I can.

Don't listen to anyone. This is a great story! Its just a STORY. Don't clutter your writing with garbage conversation keep it simple. You're doing a great job! I mean Hawaii, Sex, Family, New Friends what more could you ask for, besides when is the next chapter? I'm a follower. Now get back to writing! I'll be waiting to see the next chapter and other stories you write. Keep up the great job! I'm a reader and live in Hawaii.

You're such a lousy storyteller. I lost interest half way through.

Keep it up these characters are well done. You have a good following and we enjoy your stories so keep giving us your best work and we will continue to read them.

Statements on writing are some of the most fundamental parts of commenting on stories. By your "logic" no criticism, no commenting, would be permitted.

Good one keep on writing

While your stories flow well and are very creative, they are filled with typos and misspellings that would be picked up during a proof-reading. By enlisting the help of an editor you will be able to loose the unnecessary duplications that slow the flow of your work and make it somewhat stilted.

Please don't take my comments to mean that I dislike your writing. I am merely trying to offer you some constructive criticism, which will help to polish your writing.

I wanked all the way

Thank you

All mothers and sons should experience such uninhabited sex.