All Comments on 'Mommy and Daddy Get to Play'

This story was a good bit of fun and I was surprised I enjoyed it. It was exciting and you have a good pace to your writing.

There were, however, too many mistakes that kept taking me 'out' of the story - you must eliminate them before you post, so I recommend using a proofreader/editor. These are the mistakes I spotted:

Victoria was not one to think about sex like others her she.

Once her knees hurt the edge of the bed

He stared without, mouth slightly open.

reach up and undue his belt

The following is just my opinion, but I write in hope that it will improve your writing. The setup was good, but it should have been longer. I felt the water was rising, but not enough to make the dam burst. You missed an opportunity to ramp up the sexual tension.

The transition was too quick. For me there would have been a lot more questions and talking.

The payoff - early in the story you had the characters describe how they were feeling, but at the end there was very little of this. What people think is very erotic.

I hope this helps and feel free to comment on my work.

very good,,, your readers will be begging for more,,, I am already *S*

Wow! Your first at bat and you hit a home run! And it's not just the hot incestuous sex scenes either. You had me from the beginning with the description of her walk home in the rain. And I particularly like that mom is a willing participant. Most dad/dau stories are about keeping mom in the dark and hiding from her. I like this much better. Looking forward to more, LydiaSilver

WOW!!! What a great story that was. So good to see that mom is a willing participant and that dad has the hots for mom and daughter. Gave it a 5 and just deserved. Hope there is more to this story.

I agree with all the previous comments. This is an excellent incest story, though it could have been longer. I was hoping to see Mom and Victoria have sex while Dad watched. The final scene was great, but you could have built up to it better. You did what so many new writers (erotica or traditional) do--you got so excited with the ending that you hurried to get there. Another several hundred words of the transition to Mom eating Victoria, and then Dad nailing Mom at the same time would have been good. More teaching and explanation by Mom at that point would have been better and more consistent with what came (pun intended) before.

I also agree that there were too many typos. If you are serious about writing, you must eliminate these. One way is to finish the story, don't revisit it for at least a week, then go back and re-read it. Many authors like to re-read it out loud. It will help you discover all the little "oops!"s and fix them. (I found three errors when I previewed this comment, so I was able to fix them.)

Well done, content-wise. Keep at it, and thanks for a different kind of story. Plus, personally, Victoria has all the physical characteristics I really admire. If I saw her in person I'd probably drop one wing and run around in circles.

A wonderful mix of innocence with hunger. You left the story with the ability to add further chapters, well done.

This is a nicely written story. Is it really realistic that an 18 year old wouldn't know what happened when dad had an orgasm? What did her sex education class cover. literally the birds and the bees? Again it is nicely written but I found that aspect totally unbelievable.

Hope you keep writing here. You have the talent to be one of the best.

Enjoyed the story very much

...a little more mother/daughter fun.

You should seriously only focus on more family stories here because great minds do think alike and Incest is Best!

I'm more than excited that you kinda agree with me judging by your stories AND as long as you keep 'em coming,best believe I'll be cumming a long but more intensely lol....For the record,your mom(she likes being called mommy😉)son story is my fav and I just reread it for the second time earlier,got too excited and had a pre ejaculated moment! Luckily I got my cock ring on....Soooo I'm back at it again...

Long story short....Thank ya' for your submissions and please,keep it in the family....

BTW......love your pic!! Tattoos and Glasses Aweee.....my ideal woman hehe

All of Lydia's stuff is insanely hot.

Don't listen to any suggestions. 😂 Your writing is fine as is. But please continue.

Good story.

Fuck !! I LOVED IT!! The details and graphic mental imagery was HOT🥵. I’m at work right now as I read and had to tell my pussy not to get wet. It is definitely tingly and I’m BERY VERY aroused! I LOVE INCEST ESPECIALLY when it includes parents teaching kids. I ALSO ENJOY deeply when daddy/brother knocks daughter/sister.

This story needs a part 2 and show all the naughty steamy things mom does to Victoria!! Oh and daddy pounding moms ass as she tongue fucked victorias pussy was 🥵. A very nice touch.. god I LOVE reading this shit!! I LOVE your writing g style!!

loved it, so horny kept me hard all the way through