All Comments on 'Mommy Daycare Ch. 01'

Great story, waiting to see how it proceeds............

Goddamn! Can you write or what? By far one of the hottest stories I've read on this site. Wow!

gave it a 5 because there is no 10. Keep up the great work.

Awesome story!

https://xarthwritesthings.wordpress.com/

Some thoughts available at the above blog. Thanks for reading, the other four parts should in theory be coming out over the course of a week, give or take.

-X

Haven't read it yet, but you've never let me down before! This has been a very prolific year for you Xarth, and just speaking for myself you have made the hell that is 2020 slightly less hellish and I for one thank you for that!

A very good story. You're good.

that was fun as usual from you... can't wait for part 2... oh... there it is :)

Loved this, can't wait for the rest!

One of the best written stories on this site. Kept me involved the time and wanting more. Hoping Ch 2 hits soon. Thanks for the share.

Great read! Story was well written. Good flow and VERY hot! Thanks for sharing!

"Cummed" isn't a word. Also, stop saying "s'not" instead of "it's not." You do that in a lot of your stories, and it's distracting. Other than that, pretty decent story.

I hope the next part comes soon!

Great story line, which I hope continues for many more sex filled chapters.

Live the nudity theme of the story. They need to just run nude all the time when at home together.

Maybe need grandma to show up and join in on the nudity fun and play time!

Very good ready for more

Regarding the critique titled "GRAMMAR," I think the comment misses on both points. I am an unapologetic grammar nazi and get where this comes from, but the critic is overly strict in saying "cummed" is not a word. In the context of these kinds of stories, it seems this term is more than acceptable since it clarifies the distinction between the action of arriving somewhere and experiencing an orgasm. And as far as "s'not" and other similar contactions, I find the usage to refect realistic dialogue patterns, and they contibute to the flow and verisimilitude of the story. I've read a few of your stories and admire your ability with dialogue. Keep up the good work.

I gave it 5 stars

I can't wait until Kaden fucks both his sister and Mom in her bed and they begin sleeping together, every night, naked all night in Mom's bed

However correct your criticisms might be, you deserve a big raspberry for claiming the title of "grammar nazi." A true grammar nazi would have proofread his comment before posting. If he had, he would have corrected "contactions" to read "contractions" and "contibute" to read "contribute." Your failure casts doubt on the validity of your criticism of the author's English usage. A true grammar nazi would not allow such carelessness and/or arrogance to taint his comments. I have to suggest your proper title would be "grammar nazi wanna-be" or perhaps "grammar doofus." I fully understand that neither "wanna-be" nor "doofus" is likely to appear in Wiktionary or Webster's. However, word coinage is sometimes called for to describe someone appropriately.

Are you kidding me???

Cum is a word and cummed not?

Overly critical of lust-laden contractions??

Get over yourself

If you want to be snooty read Snoototica instead.

Fuck terrific! Got off a few times. Keep it up. More of everything including anal play. Hot, playful, forbidden, sexy, love it!

Great story! My first time reading your work where have I been? Better late than never! As for the grammar police, take a long walk off a short pier! This is one well polished piece of work. Lots of effort and time went into it and I for one really appreciate it. I bet you find problems with Hamlet and Huckleberry Finn also! And you have to pay for them.

I see 5 stars written all over this story. Enough jawing on to Chapter 2. Can’t wait for Kaden to get that cock of his into one of those hot wet pussies! Bet tomorrow morning will be fun!

Two squirters? Wow! This young fellow is in for some fun! Wish I could help with the heavy lifting!

Cheers

SAGE

Very well written.

As far as grammar....you write as people really speak...I like that.

Kudos

<b>WOW. Just freaking W O W.</b> What a talent. Outstanding story. Yes, I self pub erotica on Amazon, and TBH I hope you don't. The competition would kill me! LOL

You have a deft touch balancing realistic dialogue with pithy scene descriptions. You put enough down to let the reader's imagination spark and then fill in the blanks. This tale is a clinic on that terribly difficult skill.

Sincerest congratulations on a wonderful, wonderful job from a peer. I know how tough this craft can be, and you put up wonderful work.

This is undoubtedly one of the best stories I’ve read on this site! Actually, it is the best! Really looking forward to reading your whole catalogue! Please NEVER STOP WRITING!!! ;-))

This was a beautiful, 7 page tease, and it never got dull. An excellent effort.

Your characters are always the highlight. The lighthearted banter and loving relationship is just what doctor prescribes.

Read the story, gave it Five Stars even though it made me feel like a bad writer. Read the comments and saw you get Trolls too, felt a lot better.

Thank you for a VERY sexy story. I masterbated twice!

Glad I read the comments first, as I usually do anymore, so I didn't waste my time on a 7 page cock tease story.

This story(?) is so filled with language used by the individuals as if they are preteens that wish I had read the comments. It's difficult to comprehend how some one who is suppose to be an adult can use so many childish words in a story(?) that is suppose to be read by adults.

lots of great dialogue like Mommy at certain times and the teasing

Great Story..Got us going 🤪 5 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟

Someone should make a movie with this story!

Your command of written dialogue is really something: crisp, quick, witty, leading and completely plausible! Aside from your ability to create powerful erotic dynamics, I think your dialogue mastery launches much of the story’s fascination, and the story is galvanizing!

Excellent writing - superb dialogue. It's snappy, believable, moves things along and yet reveals character at the same time. I'm a voracious, wide reader and I know good writing when I see it. This is good writing. It's also very hot. Great job taking what could have been a pretty average scenario and making it entertaining, teasing, and hot enough to make me play as I read. Thank you!

This is amazing the best nsfw literature I've ever read

Loving all the stories from this author. Dialogue is clever, humorous and occasionally touching (heh) or thoughtful and doesn't waste time on long, incremental buildup. Really well done all around.

An interesting story idea but there was way too much filler before getting their grooves into action.

Well executed choreography in the sex scenes, something I struggle with sometimes. Also a few nice turns of phrase.

Shockingly well written. The dialogue is very on point with modern family dynamics such as many of our friends joking with, and poking fun normally with their adult kids. That said, this was anything but the norm for activity in the real world. In this story, this world, this was utterly fantastically well done. Wife and I were both actually very aroused by this. It's, by far, not the type of story that would attract us. My wife said she felt guilty for masturbating while I read the part between Kayden and Jaina on their first adventure outside. This was a venture far away from the bounds of reality, or anything we would fantasize about on our own. However ,this was an amazingly sexy ride to another place, in a family far, far away from our own. Well done.

Made me cum............wow. Love it!

Ah, Yes...another brilliant Xarth story...with more chapters to go!!

Nasty, hot, yet so much fun...to the lack of reality pointed out by other commenters here, THAT is why we read these (even with the obvious minor grammar mistakes and deletion of words at various points in ALL his stories!!)

Five**5**Stars...most deservedly!!

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