All Comments on 'Mommy Just Wants to Help!'

keep writing

Wow.... That really was bad...

How in the world did Lit let this through?

Absolutely no literary skills or even an attempt at actually writing. Try reading some other stories before you try to write again, Specifically non-erotic fiction.

Not all seduction is drawn out.

Occasionally we see sub par stories. This is one of them.

Hopefully your next effort will be better.

Take your time with it... very rushed

Writer has absolutely no sense of how to lead the reader in and build up to the fun stuff.

i liked it. don't know what the fuss is but i liked it much

I could tell this was going bad when the author misspelled the word “bubble” in the story description. And I was correct. Bad story, bad writing, not at all believable.

what a scum of the earth skank...

This was a terrible story.

I gave you a 3 because you had guts enough to try something new. I've seen 'all dialogue' scenes in writing manuals, but this is the first I remember reading here on Lit. You could learn to mix in a little narrative for set up, continue with the dialogue and just might turn out something special.

Good Luck! cd

I liked it. But it needs a bit of editing. Imagine the same "Plot" with more refined and sensual language. And a smarter but super shy son.. 23 and the kid was an idiot!

Definitely the number one entry in this year's worst story ever contest. Please write a sequel revealing that they are both junkies.

For the worst of the worst story ever written!

Please read more before making another attempt. You need a lot of coaching and some basic lessons in sentence structure and grammar.

S M H

Use of dialog to tell the whole story is a challenge for any writer, and although you've picked up a lot of criticism here, I applaud you for the effort. I found it funny and satisfying, thanks!

Absolute shit.

Please, PLEASE, never write another word.

That was the funniest story I've ever read here. Total parody of erotica, five silly stars for you.