All Comments on 'Moms & Lovers'

And I love the denouement: "Richard devoured his mother with kisses. His energy was unsurpassed. Barbara felt the warmth of her passion flow as never before." This couple discovers what lots of sons and their moms are finding out, more all the time. Once they bat away the silly outmoded "taboo" and go with their deepest urges, nothing is as hot as a loving son into mom fuck. The boy's "energy" is truly unsurpassed--the stiffness of his hard young cock and the drive to blow his young balls up the same glorious hairy hole he came out of. His beloved mom's passion "flows as never before"--her motherly cunt runs like a river with her baby boy back up where he started out and where he belongs, now and always. I look forward to many more stories from the highly talented rw.

Very well written story. Grammar,spelling,erotic and exciting. All the things you need for a favorite tale of incest. I've not read your work before perhaps your new,at any rate please continue.

One of the best Literotica stories I've read. Write more please!

The speech is very stilted and unnatural. As to the sex between Richard and Jean, all that talk and buildup for "So done!"?? What the fuck is that? This is supposed to be a porn story. As such, I expected a detailed description of their fucking. One star!!

... on your way out! Your grammar was pathetic, your dialogue lines came off stilted and unnatural, and there was far too little in the way of erotic content in this story for it to be given more than one star. And don't let yourself be consoled by the few 'positive' responses to this absolute brick of crap that you submitted. There are a few pathetic individuals who read this genre, who only seem to need to see the words, 'Mom', 'Son', and 'Bed' in the same paragraph, to get off on it. Most of the readers here would prefer much more than that, and you simply didn't deliver. If this is the best you can write, well, don't give up your day job.

I don't know what all the hoopla over grammar is about, but I was too busy enjoying it to even notice! The only thing that I would add in the sequel you simply must write, is a lot more intimacy between the two Ladies!

That worked more like a screen play for actors than a novel for readers. I tried to read it twice before criticizing, but you really need to change the format. Best of luck.

I know this is your first attempt, but I couldn't get into the story. Your method of writing dialogue is difficult to deal with, for me.

I suffered a similar difficulty when I started writing here. Take a look at "https://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-make-characters-talk", which is in the "How to" section. It will help you construct dialogue so that it is more easily readable.

Don't be discouraged by this comment or others that seem less than complimentary. We all have to start somewhere. The important thing is to learn. As you learn you will improve, as you improve you will get more and more positive feedback'

Good luck.

TTC

Sorry, I like similar type of story but it was a torture to read it. After every 3-4 paragraphs and felt drowsiness but I had courage and patience to read to the end. If reader after the fifth phrase knows what would be the next why to write 3.5 pages? I guess that 1.5 pages for this "novella" would be more than enough. Maybe write just 5 sentences and stop? 4 pages for typical cliche? I am confident that story must contain at least one element - good written sex scenes or prescribed in detail the plot or maybe crime scenes with sex pepper. There are absolutely anything that could pay attention.

I did stumble with the italics. If you continue to write, leave the italics alone, unless you are having a character think in a narrative way. I kept getting mixed up as you went from couple to couple. I think it may have been better to stay with one couple until post-cuddling then to the other couple. I would also like to have seen the boys take on more of a romantic role. They seemed to exist only to be manipulated by the ladies and had no independent thought or action. A proofreader would help as some words were missing, misspelled or unnecessary. Also, divulging the plan then re-writing it two or three times after loses some of the allure. Overall a good story, nice plot and decent description of the characters. 4 Stars.

... the original version, but the writing still feels very stiff (no pun intended) to me, just doesn't flow well. I like the storyline, but the execution is not very erotic.

I read these stories for the entertainment value. I really do not understand the grammar police and the other negative thoughts from the anonymous groupies. Geeze why not just enjoy the story as a bit of fun and escape? Thanks for a wonderful read.

Ok, I only read the first part, but I'm very curious about the following parts.

It's worth to translate into german, but I'll wait 'till the end.

Be sure, I will read the following parts.

Thank you!

Some people are not happy unless they are raining on someone else's parade. Nobody comes to Literotica for grammar lessons, they come to be entertained and titillated, and this story does that in spades. The grammar police need to go to an English literature site and do their complaining from there. I like this story and plan to read the other stories by this writer.

I pretty much agree with washdog’s sentiment. “Some People” just wouldn’t be happy if you hanged them with a new rope. Of course it would shut them up and make the rest of us feel better. But seriously, I’ll never understand why some people can’t remember that this is an amateur site, for amateur writers, and it doesn’t cost them a red cent to visit it. So why the animosity. They should channel that energy into writing some stories of their own. Oh, that’s right, those who can write do, and post their stories here to be ridiculed. And those who can’t, just bitch and piss and moan because some story they read isn’t perfect. Just a bunch of freakin losers. BTW, not a bad story at all. Take the constructive comments, learn and grow. You can only get better.

Enjoyed the story. Although there was very little character development, the plot and twist of the story was good. As long as incest is not forced and both parties are at least the appropriate age of consent, I have no problem with it.

WOW! AWESOME STORY!. A terrific story and an exciting and interesting read. Great plot & characters. Thanks for developing this remarkable story and plot. I hope you choose to continue with many additional chapters. This was a really delightful read. Now I am off to read the other chapters. Thanks again.