by Pirlouit
Pretty good, but doesn't involve her whole body. Moves along too fast. No 'visuals', descriptions of what her various body parts looked like. All we hear about is a finger up her ass, fingered pussy, and blowjob.
Gave it four stars.
Would read future chapters.
Would love to read more. Amy's total submission is what needs to eventually happen.
Please continue with the storyline. There are so many ways you could take the story.
Nice start. I would like to see more verbal humiliation and Trish being submissive to Tyler.
Your writing is above average for plotting, but you really need to proof read and edit.
Especially if you’re an ESL writer.
The story is top notch overall but weak in the editing.