All Comments on 'Mom's Errant Panties'

Welcome to story land mr story teller

Good story… although, I’d rather he fuck babies into his mom and sisters…

Omg amazing story. I hope you keep writing

I got to page 17 before I couldn't take anymore of the literal word salad you were throwing up onto the pages. All that inner monologue felt like filler material. You ever hear of an imagination? Cause I have one, and I prefer my imagination to fill in the holes, not be force fed EVERY little detail. It was like every time a scene built in my mind, it was interrupted by the word salad of inner monologue, and ruined it.

Story has great bones, but it had no flow. You shouldn't be so worried about addressing every little thought. Just build the scene and let people's imaginations and interpretations make it happen. It's not your job to interpret it, it's your job to tell us the story.

Great story! I hope this is just the beginning! Thank you

Great story! Interesting and captivating to the point of almost being real because of the in-depth character conversations and conflicts. Nicely done!

I have to admit I had a difficult time with the starting portion. It almost made me stop reading. I can't say for sure what it was, maybe all the masterbation. I'm not sure. It was different enough for me to want to see how it all came together. There were a couple of spelling / context errors that could easily been corrected by reading a hard copy aloud. Just my opinion.

As a first story it's better than most I've read. Keep going, maybe a little shorter story, like involving the neighbor?

While there was quite a bit details. Too much? That is for each person who reads the whole thing to decide for themselves. I thought the story was pretty good as a whole. But I like to read lol. Inner monolog was a bit too detailed at points. Like another reader mentioned. But if this was a first attempt at writing, you have talent. I liked the reality of the whole thing. It was easy to imagine you were reading his private thoughts at times. So criticism? Not really, critique......very good, in my opinion. If you write more I would give it a read.

21 pages seemed a bit too much for here, but I enjoyed the story a lot. 5 Stars!

What a roller-coaster! Great story! Thanks a lot for your effort and keep up the amazing work.

I liked the story quite a bit. Like others have said, it started off so slowly I nearly bailed. Not because I was impatient for the genitalia to appear but because of the (I feel) overly detailed inner dialogue in the viewpoint character. That said, the character is interesting enough that it pulled me into the story.

Perhaps the starting and stopping of the flow while the character pauses to analyze everything said to him, or thoughts popping up about his situation, could be tightened up. I was once criticized by an editor thus - " You are here to tell a story, not to chronicle your cranium." This could apply to a viewpoint character as well.

What I like most about the story line was that Mom is as involved with the seduction as Greg. I thought you played that angle very well. Still, you can get the message across (that guilt and self-reflection play a big part in an incest story that isn't coercive), without constant, detailed agonizing.

I particularly liked Mom's game of "you have to catch me to fuck me" when Greg surrenders his virginity. It is very titillating. I liked the way you set up Greg's digital surveillance as necessary rather than creepy. I liked many other elements of your story as well.

Keep writing for us, please. I'm following you.

Still don't get the panties thing, but hey the story was more than good enuff to get me to read to the end.

Loved the story although it was 21 pages I still kept reading it and the farther it got the hotter it was, but I wish you would have written farther into it and see what became of the trial they had to go through maybe they could live together and the three women would have his children!! Gave it 5 stars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A brilliant, exctarordinary piece of writing.

You talk too much. You put up so much background and so much unnecessary conversations that seemed forced. And when the sex finally happened it became a little too casual for one who was a virgin.

Well-damn-done, Mr. McFloyd! 5 stars and a follow... I'm looking forward to reading whatever you put up next.

Great plot, good pacing overall and I really like the way you made this as much of a conscious, active choice for first the Mom and then the sisters as much as the MC. Deftly done!

It's a very nice read. Granted you cant exactly pull a quick jerk with this one, but the gradual increase of the erotic mood is just perfect. *chef kiss*

Congratulations on an EXCELLENT 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 story.

Not a wham, bam thank you mam style ready for a quick wank, but a steady progress of a young male finding his way into the hearts and bodies of three more mature female family members.

It would be interesting to know if the twins altered their attitude towards their little brother after he serviced them both and if this tryst continued with the twins returning home.

I have been visiting this site for like 20 years. And this is the first time I have ever wrote a review for a story. This one has it all. Character development to the point one actually caring about the protagonist and his supporting cast. Evil antagonists, and one big happy ending. Bravo.