All Comments on 'Mom's New Family Affair Ch. 04'

This just gets better & better. Can't wait for Chapter 5!

very good - waiting for next chapter

Absolutely love how this story has developed so far. I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter - looks like no place to go but the big event!

Wonderful concept and thought behind this story.

My only critisism is big over use on the word "Ha" and far too much detail on trivial things like conversations on finger sandwiches, what types of rooms are called and the like.

It felt like you were trying to stretch out the story which you have no need to do.

I found myself reading these passages and instead of pictures formimg in my head, I tended to skip through these bits because I found them a bit annoying.

This story is wonderful. One grammatical issue - it is "she and I" not "her and I."

Good story though this one was long on dialogue and short on sex. Hopefully chapter 5 will be in today's new stories.

The proper grammar would be: She (He) and I..., not Her (Him) and I... Another point is that sometimes you forget to use your quotation (") marks to separate the narrative from the dialogue during a conversation. I also noticed that in this chapter you would switch from First Person (I) POV (point of view) to Third Person (he) POV when talking or referring to yourself. One other point -- it is not "chase lounge" but rather "chaise lounge". Remember, these points are meant to help you, not elicit anger from others. Otherwise I have been enjoying this story.

Enjoy your story and "Ditto" to others' comments. And one more thing - it's not "chase lounge" and it's not "chaise lounge". The correct term is "chaise longue", French for "long chair" which is what it is. 5-star material as determined by the erection it gives me.