Monogamish - Bachelorette Party Day 02

This is the fourth part of a series that starts with Monogamish--The Courtship. I hope you will enjoy it. If you finish this installment, you know the drill: vote, favorite, and especially comment, please. All the time-wasting BS you hear at the start of every YouTube video...

As always, I aspire to make my stories merely plausibly ridiculous, or maybe ridiculously plausible. Either way, this ain't real life, so don't lecture me on realism. I just hope that, given these two highly-improbable characters, you will feel like the ride makes some semblance of sense.

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MONOGAMISH -- The Bachelorette Party, Day 2

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The next morning was... non-existent. I woke up at 11:25, and I may have been the first among us to arise.

I took a long shower and brushed my teeth twice. I took my vitamins, took some Advil, did my face... and brushed my teeth again. Linda joined me in the bathroom, naked, and took a shower longer than mine.

"A fucking hickey?" I asked, looking her over in the shower. She blearily flipped me off. My balding man must have been amazing for Linda to let him mark her.

Getting Patty and Jenn out of their room took some doing, and we were not assembled in the lobby before almost 1:30. We fortunately found a beignet shop that understood everybody is hungover every day in the French Quarter, and served those tasty treasures until three in the afternoon. We feasted desperately, after flirting with the counter guy.

Then we took a carriage ride around, and flirted with the driver.

Then we did a museum tour, and flirted with the cute docent.

Then we went to another hotel, got on a fucking carousel that rode around a bar, and had a hair of the dog. And flirted with the bartenders.

Dinner was everything Patty could want, and everything my tummy needed. It was a huge, elaborate meal in many small courses, and with fancy, delicious cocktails which were all very small, so we weren't getting too drunk, too early.

By eight o'clock, we were back at our hotel and inventorying our stuff for the evening. Everything was in place. We had huge tubs of ice, courtesy of the hotel, some beer, more wine, and lots of Cognac and Tequila. There was the music we wanted. There were party horns and other ridiculous shit like that. Indulgent sweets, and salty snacks.

And condoms. Plenty of condoms.

"Are you sure you are going to need those after all, Miss I Didn't Fuck the Tasty Blonde Beach Boy, Even Though We Were Naked and He Was Gagging For It?" Linda taunted.

"Last night, for me, was about making them want what they couldn't have," I said loftily. "Tonight... tonight is about me getting comprehensively off, because yesterday made me unbearably horny."

"And," I added, "neither of us got completely naked, and in his case, I genuinely regret that."

"Seriously?" Paula shouted at the ceiling. "We are done, and all ready. But our party favors don't arrive until ten, and it is still only 8:15!?!"

And that is how the eight of us ended up playing Cosmic Encounter (with expansions). Paula had brought it, thinking that morning was going to be a good time to play it. Hah. Mornings don't exist in Nola...

At 10:05, Noor won. The bitch. Three whole minutes later, Linda's phone rang.

"Showtime," she said, hanging up.

I found myself hyperventilating. I had been keeping this party in the back of my mind for weeks before this weekend. I had a plan. I was both totally stoked and... terrified.

All of us were, I realized. And that relaxed me. We knew what we were signing up for. We had discussed it in advance. Once everyone had fully grasped that I was serious about maybe getting laid, and certainly getting completely raunchy otherwise at my party, well, everyone else kind of wanted in as well. Except Melody, of course, though even she still intended to have fun. This party could get out of control. This party was basically designed to get out of control.

So here was our big splurge for the whole weekend: We had booked four buff male strippers for the whole night, until three am. For just the eight of us. We wanted to make sure there would be enough, um, results to go around.

It had taken some real work to ensure that we had exactly what we were looking for. Linda dug and dug, and dodged a whole lot of porn on the internet before we found just the right service, one that would provide us guys like we wanted, who were also of pre-negotiated virtue. I had helped her in the end, but that had been mostly the hard slog of drooling over pictures of individual performers... Linda was a great Maid of Honor. She had even had to argue with the lady who did the booking that yes, we wanted four guys, yes, for that long, yes, just for eight of us.

The woman had at last sighed and said, "You girls a horny bunch, yah."

"You have no idea," Linda had replied.

I took my seat in the chair we had decorated like a silly throne, while the rest of my 'court' spread out around the room. Linda went through the door to the connecting room where Noor and Paula were staying. The dancers would come there first, to get dressed. Noor and Paula had stuck all their valuables in our safe earlier. Gotta be secure...

I snorted to myself as I noted how all of us had dressed. You might think we'd have put on our sexiest outfits, and while what we were all wearing was sexy enough, we had all independently focused on choosing clothes that... could come off or be at least dislodged easily.

I had a red, wrap-around dress, in a lightweight rayon that clung to me and made it clear when I walked that sexy underwear had been an unneeded item.

Linda, who had just come back through the connecting door with a wide-eyed smile and two thumbs up, sported a flirty white skirt so short that while we were sitting around playing the game, I got several indications she wasn't wearing panties either. She paired it with a green strapless bustier that pushed her already nice girls up to even better effect.

Kerrie had a blue pullover with a neckline that plunged all the way below her breasts, and a black leather skirt with a bold, gold zipper that run down the back.

Patty, Jenn, and Noor were similarly attired, though I was little surprised at the bare-midriff halter top Noor was rocking. She usually dresses a lot more demurely, which hardly matters since I know she is good at getting out of most any clothing quite skillfully. I love Noor. She is such a study in contrasts.

Paula stood out. She had been pretty chill during last night's Tour de Boobs. She'd had plenty of takers, of course--she is well put together after all. But she had been pretty passive. Tonight she was wearing what could only be described as a stripper outfit herself. It was a body-hugging neon green dress made out of... nothing but fine, elastic mesh. Yeah, like, 50% opaque at most, mesh. You could see her dark, oblong nipples right through it. I had previously been unaware that Paula had dark, oblong nipples. Under, all she had on was a matching neon green thong, of the smaller variety of thong.

"I can't believe you wore that," Linda exclaimed, not displeased, just... maybe a little jealous.

"I can't believe I even brought it," Paula blushed. "But my friend Willa dared me. I fucking sure was not intending to wear it. But after last night..."

"The strippers are bloody well going to want to pay you to take that off," Linda scoffed.

"I doubt they are going to have to," taunted Patty.

Melody was the true exception in her wardrobe, just as I had expected. She wore tight, form-fitting jeans. Her hips and legs were pretty hot in them, but those jeans would not come off easily, which was okay, as I doubted Melody had any intention of letting them. Up top, she wore a matching blue denim long-sleeved shirt, with the tails tied up under her chest, and only one button buttoned, showing off some extensive creamy cleavage. I was a little surprised at how much skin she was showing...

Just as Linda came back in from letting our stars into their dressing room, Melody hauled a fat packet out of her purse and announced, "This is my contribution to the festivities." We looked on as she opened the packet and started producing stacks of cash, tossing one to each of us! "Fifty bucks each," she said proudly.

"Melody, that is awesome," Linda said. "Thank you. But we already have the tip built in and..."

"Tut, and indeed, tut," Melody said imperiously. "When you youngsters are as old as I am, and have gone to as many strip clubs, you will know that you can't have strippers without singles. It's Newton's Wife's Second Law of Nature, or something."

Melody, while a year ahead of me in school, was barely nine months older. And I was less than nine months older than Jenn, the youngest among us. The Melody Is Old routine was a fairly recent running gag.

"Wait," Paula interjected. "I thought Robert was in trouble for going to a strip club."

"He's not in trouble for that. I've been to clubs with him a couple of times. In fact, that is probably why I'm here getting my tits sucked, instead of crying at my mom's house, or plotting with my lawyer." She leaned forward. "I really believe that he didn't get laid there. Robert has terrible game with strippers. I've seen it. Even the last time we went, when I guarantee you there were two of them at least that would have happily fucked him in that private room, even with me right there, and yet he had zero chance of closing the deal."

"Wha?" Kerrie asked, thumbing through the crisp Washingtons in her packet.

"Besides, I think it is really hot watching some other babe crawl all over him," Melody admitted. "I mean, I would... probably not have let either of those skanks actually fuck him, but it was so hot watching them dance around the subject." She sat back and thought a moment. "When he's finally paid off that card balance, I'll probably take him back again. Strip clubs might become of Our Thing, in the future."

"Well, if you want someone to crawl all over your hottie husband without impacting your bank balance, I'm available," Paula quipped. Paula had really eaten her Wheaties that morning.

"Hands off!" Melody laughed, then sobered. "Seriously, it is hot if they are strangers, but someone we both love like you? No. Thank. You. You'd creep me out, babe."

"I can't see it," I said firmly.

"You do know what Todd is up to, possibly at this exact second?"

"Yep! And I hope she's got Kerrie-level hooters and a twat like a vise," I laughed back. "But I can't imagine wanting to watch it. Just like I wouldn't want him seeing me this evening." We all looked at the safe where our iPhones were all secured.

There was a knock at the door, and I took a deep breath. I heard others being taken too.

Linda bounced back up and swung our door inward. "Please come in, gentlemen!" she said with a smile.

The four guys swept into the room with huge, handsome smiles, atop huge, handsome bodies. There is a certain kind of guy who professionally takes off his clothes for horny women. He tends to mainline creatine and live at the gym. We had selected four guys who were not exceptions. They rolled into the room in a row, moving to take up most of the remaining space in the center, all smiles. They looked around swiftly, clearly good at quickly reading a crowd.

And they all paused just a barely perceptible hair.

First, even though they knew there were only supposed to be eight of us, I still think they were surprised we had not added women. Second, I doubt they often had an audience as uniformly good-looking as we. I'm not being arrogant. I know how hot my friends are. Half of New Orleans had clearly been of the same opinion the night before.

"Ladies," began the tallest and slenderest of the quartet, clearly the spokesman and MC. Slender was a very relative term for these guys. Every one of them was a cup size or two bigger than Jenn. Sorry, Jenn, but it's the truth. Any of them could have been patron saint of the benchpress. "I am Dallas. And I think we can all see who the bachelorette is," he added. Then he came over, lifted my hand and kissed it. None of them wore much in the way of shirts, and Dallas wore none. He did wear a pair of loose cotton pants under a set of extravagantly frilly chaps and cowboy boots. The only parts of the pants that were tight were across his muscular butt, and in the front, where it strained to contain... a whole lot.

"You are Amy, correct?" he asked me softly. He had a nice voice. He stepped back and to the side. "Let me introduce my friends. This is Antonio," he said, and Antonio stepped forward, the most powerful-looking of them all, though that was hard to tell for sure, as he wore a full set of baggy camos, with combat boots. I noticed the boots had no laces... for easy removal. Antonio sauntered up to me in a most unmilitary manner and caressed my hand before kissing it. Then he stepped back, turning to approvingly survey my 'court'.

"Next is our security detail, Officer Biggins," Dallas said with a smirk. Officer Biggins was our fake cop. His outfit was possibly a real cop uniform, bought from a real equipper, as it was very sharp and convincing. It also fitted him well, with the black pants betraying solid legs, while fitting comfortably, tight only across the ass. The uniform blouse had a real-looking badge, but clearly fake patches, and he wore it completely unbuttoned in a most non-regulation fashion, framing the most amazingly carved abs. All four men had a six-pack (I was assuming Antonio had a six pack under that came shirt), but Officer Biggins had a shrink-wrapped six-pack of tall boys. He topped his look with a crisp, absolutely real, peaked, cop hat and mirrored Ray-Bans.

"I've secured the perimeter, ma'am," Biggins said. "You are all safe, and we won't be disturbed."

"I'm getting a little disturbed already," Paula joked. The other three guys smiled at that, but Biggins apparently was a method actor and maintained his stony expression.

"And finally, our new guy, Rex," finished Dallas. Rex was younger than the others, probably almost as young as all of us, and dressed as... a male stripper. He had on tight leather shorts that showed off his rock-hard ass and impressive frontal contents even more tightly than Dallas's, with a black mesh tank top. He had a narrower waist and hips than the other four guys, but his shoulders were enormous and cut to perfection.

Rex extravagantly sank to one knee before me, took my hand and bent to kiss it. The way one of his fingers tickled my palm while his tongue discreetly lavished the back of my hand reassured me that these guys knew exactly what they were here for. But his voice was that an innocent babe in the woods as he earnestly told me, "I hope I do okay for you and your friends, Amy. Be sure to tell me exactly what you want me to do, and I'll do my very best!"

Oh, Rex showed a lot of promise. Most of my friends seemed to think so too. Of course, all the guys showed promise--that was why Linda and I had selected them. That, and we had gone for a minimum of tattoos. Jenn was just going to have do without. Her last two boyfriends had both been tatted up.

Aside from the married Melody, and the engaged me, only Linda and Paula so much as had an interesting man in their lives right then, and both of them still firmly considered themselves free agents. These guys were entering a lioness's den.

"If you're ready for us to start?" Dallas asked me, and I grinned while making a royal gesture of ascent. Antonio pressed play on their huge karaoke-style music player, and a rich, thumping base song, I honestly don't remember what it was, began.

This was not a choreographed dance number. These men were not a regular team, after all. I imagine they usually worked solo, but had a program stencil for when they teamed up. They each just did their own thing, bumping and grinding all around the circle of their audience, each taking a moment during the song to look into the eyes of each of us, and trade a quiet remark or two, getting all our names.

My approval of Rex grew when he came around during the song, He had very nice eyes, with an innocent expression that somehow revealed a smoldering undertone.

Antonio seemed to do little for me, on the other hand. Of course, I still had the least good look at his bod out of all them, but he just seemed a little too... nice? No. Actually, he seemed a little too intelligent. I felt like he might be someone I'd enjoy bullshitting with about cars or some shit. I didn't need a friend tonight. Didn't want one. I was still curious about what his cock might look like, and possibly even taste like...

Dallas, though looking nothing like Todd, was still the most like Todd in body style. Again, I was not looking for a Todd Alternative, I was looking for not-Todd. On the other hand, he did look like he was packing like a steamer trunk. And tonight was about raw physicality, right?

Officer Biggins's gaze went straight into my eyes and down to my crotch. My, he was beautifully sculpted. And he subtly looked like he was particularly eager to make my acquaintance. Good for him. I found myself eager to make his.

As I looked around when none of them was in front of me, I found it interesting and a relief that each of my friends looked like they were reacting to each guy differently. I wondered if this little roundabout intro dance was so that they could figure out who reacted best to which of them. Were they that smart?

Probably.

When the first song ended, three guys stepped back to a gap in our circle and stood there flexing and looking at all of us, while Antonio strutted into the center of the room. He flexed and posed, and undulated his body like a python for a short while, then grabbed the bill of his kind of mushroom-topped, camouflage, Army ball cap-type hat, and tossed it to Patty, who squealed happily as she caught it.

Yeah, Patty was one of us who was into him, and he had already figured that out. He didn't go right to her, though. Instead, he approached me first. "Want to help me with my costume change?" he asked me, holding out the bottom of his uniform shirt, flaring the lower buttons at me.

I played along and started undoing the buttons from the bottom, opening the first three while his hips thrust at me in time with the music. A seriously powerful abdomen peeked through. The next button interestingly was sewn on with different color thread, but Antonio bumped and humped away before I could put my hands on it. He shook his ass and glanced over his shoulder at me as he moved on to Kerrie, who also seemed a fan. He spread his knees out wide and bent them in front of her, rocking his hips, and leaned in to let her start opening more buttons on his uniform, from the top down this time.

When she got to that last button, Antonio bounded up again. He oiled his way back into the center for the room and tore the uniform the rest of the way open, sending the last button flying as the thread broke. He spun slowly around so we could all see him, and he flexed the shirt off some seriously burly shoulders, then entirely free, whipping it around. Wow, did he have some guns. His upper arms were bigger than most buff guys' thighs. He tossed the shirt aside, not so incidentally landing it at Patty's feet, who scooped it up enthusiastically, and then he circled while doing body-builder poses.

Then he rocked his way over in front of Melody, who seemed into him, though not to the extent of Paula or Kerrie. "Ma'am," he said in military cadence, "it is critical to the mission that you undo the button on my trousers!"

"Oh-rah," Melody answered, and reached out both hands to his waist and unbuttoned it. Then she dragged both hands down the front of his pants, then back up to reach for his zipper.

Antonio stepped back playfully. "Negative ma'am! Not yet," he said with a straight face that fooled no one.