All Comments on 'Hyeonverse: Monster'

"cock pounding into her cervix"

I get it's supposedly fiction, but why the fuck do you writers insist on a cock hitting the cervix being erotic? That shit is fuckin painful and made me quit reading. 1*

The title was apt. I figure dead of a heart attack before 50.

It's a bunch of awful people being awful, If the reader hates all the main characters, what's the point in caring about the conflict or who wins?

Neither contiguous nor interesting. Didn't like the disjointed scenes and somewhat irrelevant "sideshows" The real story was overshadowed by flights of fancy and snapshots from a poorly organized photograph album 1*

Stylistically captivating writing style, but I gotta go back and reread Ticket to Nevada and Dark Reflections to remind myself who’s who. Great group of recurring peripheral characters - Vailea, Hyeon, Cormac, etc. I hope you give us more stories from their universe.

What’s up with Izzy? Will there be more to her story?

Thanks for a very entertaining read.*****

That was certainly a unenjoyable character.

Besides the two fishermen who is there too like or cheer for?

A good story needs somebody to cheer for not a cold, cruel, spiteful, malicious, self centered bastard.

This was a well depicted tale of darkness and misuse of force.

I definitely appreciate the ability to use force effectively and when needed but losing your humanity in the process doesn't seem like a good trade.

Vailea has both a killer instinct and humanity to back it up. Old Merry could learn a few things from his young friend and he should.

I sort of agree that I'm unsure the point or interest in the story. If it is intended as an interstitial to flesh out characters in a common world, then maybe.

But there is is nothing really engaging about the tale, the characters or the conflict.

He is a monster professionally with his takeovers. He is a monster to his family with how he treats his niece and husband. He indeed is betrayed by his wife, but it seems he was often as cold with her.

Who really cares then about anyone in the situation? What tension is there? What dynamic did you intend to get people invested in?

Stories should garner some of that investment, but nothing was tense or deserving of empathy or mystery.

I'm so glad that I stopped reading half way through the second page. I suppose people like this really exist, and I'm so happy I don't even remotely have them in my life.

King, your story if I an correct covered a little over a year in time. The problem I had was that the demise happened in less than a week. He came home, she jumped his body because she had found someone interesting, he tells his niece to have Kimberly's phone taped and then texts Kim to say he's of to Hong Kong. That night she goes to meet the guy for the first time and after he does her in the bathroom he servers her the divorce papers.

Merry had the papers drawn up before she cheated and then used the cheater to server her, that was where it went off the rails. Everything in his life was scorch earth and as we all know then it will only be a matter of time until he to is burning in Hell.

Willie, You have technical skill, but even there you had problems this time...Izzy had "clauses" on her desk? There were other howlers. Still the biggest problem was writing about something you don't understand. I suspect you haven't been any closer to a hostile takeover of a public company and the people who do them than a Bernie Sanders campaign brochure. You aren't just a little off; the process and people bear no relationship at all to reality...it's a kind of anti-reality, in fact. Moreover, the story seems to wander aimlessly at times. You've done some good writing, but this one got away from you.

To the author. The BTB crowd generally prefers the betrayed hubby to be a wonderful, awesome, perfect, stoic proud White Man, preferably middle aged. They are however quite happy to embrace assholes, cold blooded murderers, hitmen, psychopaths, sadists, wing nuts, and all manner of monsters... Just as long as the cheating Wife and her Lover are punished draconiously and preferably murdered in cold blood.

Now dear Author, as you noticed from the reactions, most readers dont like your asshole main character! The problem is not that he is an asshole. The problem is, he is rich. Most of the readers are not rich assholes. They are normal, average assholes. They envy and hate rich assholes. They will suck up to them and even suck their dicks secretly, if they get the chance, in the hope of the trickle down effect. But, they hate them. Why? They are jealous and envious. And they have probably been fucked over by them. The fuckin 1%! The Man!

I know author, you're saying these fuckers are assholes and if they were rich, they'd still be assholes, making them rich assholes... So why hate your rich asshole character??? Welll, sorry, but what it is is what it is! If you are a poor or average asshole, you hate rich assholes. You also hate cheating Wives, and you really love men who murder their cheating Wives in cold blood. But only if they are not The Man! That's where you fucked up and lost them. Next time, no rich assholes please!

Silly, and dark. A poor polt from start to end. Keep up the practiceIn five years you will become a legit writer.

they have a hold on the grim reaper, TK U MLJ LV NV

So. Will Merry Find the Xmas Spirit?

Or will he just be a run of the mill sociopath?

I liked the act of kindness the Somoan protege offered up as an exemplar and that he may or may not have watched.

I hope that that if you do a sequel that you don’t turn Kim into a Tiny Tim figure, but rather let her use her misfortune to help her grow away from her narcissism

I thought this site is supposed to be about erotic literature? The writing was good but lacked erotica. 1 star.

I loved the idea of having the process server having another important role in the

story.

Nice one!

All the angst, anger and waste failed to materialize anything of interest in the story. It simply wasn't any fun to read. On ANY level.

2 stars.

But definitely unkind. He got what he married; serves him right. It will serve him right when it happens again, and again.

Kimberly is beautiful and young and now much smarter. She not only won't starve, she'll be married again within two years to some other rich fool who just wants a trophy.

Difficult to follow but not totally opaque. Hope the style works out for you.

Evil Is...As Evil Does!...This is Dark Comedy Meets The Karate Kid Expose!....Anyway I enjoyed it...But can't help feeling Kimberly was set up or Maybe Her fantasy screwed her then her Marriage!?...Who Knows. .5 Stars.★★★★★ WOOF!

no, she never admitted to being a cheater/skank/disloyal whet they tied the knot.

kindly take your white-knighting cuckery elsewhere, anon below me.

we know how angsty you've become over the long arduous years...defending sluts.

how they never actually reward you with even a pity-hand-job.

And it fit very very well.

Very detailed and elaborate set-up. Very small finish.

Yeah, I agree Hubby was a driven asshole, and that Sweetie came across as a spoiled bitch. But Hubby basically entrapped her, because he was too busy highjacking businesses to include her in his life.

4*

Nice change up from the mundane skunt cheating on Jack Armstrong story.

Merrick was a complete piece of shit, I've never wanted a death so badly as I wanted his. I was actually rooting for Kimberly here, and that's shocking.

This King Willie at his best. A dark tale that makes you pay attention, or get lost. Strong characters that you either like or hate. Kimberley cheated and she was brutally disposed of. What did she expect? She knew what Merry was capable of, and she cheated anyway. I hope this will be a series, as it is worth following. KW, you knowledge amazes me. Not often that I learn an ancient Greek word on LW.

Hey, guys,

thank you so much for your posts and comment and sorry it took me so long to get back to you, Holidays were messy. :)

I'm sorry if Merry and Mindy Miller's adventures in the corporate world didn't strike everyone's fancy, but every story needs its Sauron and Monster was essentially a little exercise in rationalization.

Looking back, I think a little clarification may be in order regarding the hostile takeover of Dawson & Reid Manufacturing.

The grotesque little antic Merrick pulled on Izzy, kicking her out of her own office, no coat, no phone, no purse was mere psychological warfare, the deal itself would have required weeks, maybe even months of negotiations to be settled (lawsuits and courts could eventually be involved, depending on how hard Izzy was willing to go down swinging), so that stunt was basically him going "bend that FUCKING knee or I'll carpet bomb this whole place just out of spite when I take over."

If Izzy was a guy, Merrick would have probably walked in there and pissed on his desk instead. :p

Vailea, Hyeon, Cormac, Chief Taito (retired), the woman with the jade bracelet and the whole crew will be back on the next story, once I've finished cleaning it up, but Merrick is taking some time off to enjoy his future ex-wife and Izzy is going deep underground for a while..

Merry's wife had the opportunity to stay loyal, or if dissatisfied to WALK AWAY. That would be the ethical thing to do. And that would have been Merry's fault. Instead, she cheats. That's HER fault.

While the BTB was slightly entertaining, the protagonist was a completely unlikeable money-grubbing ass. No redeeming features whatsoever.

With no likeable characters in the foreground, the story was only held together by the supporting cast, specifically Vailea, rendering this treatise as an exercise in futility.

Sorry to be blunt, as I have enjoyed other of your works - just not this one.

1/5

Dark muthafucka

Maybe I am dark also

"Akrasia" (Ακράτεια), in Greek DOES NOT mean "against one's better judgement", NOT WHATSOEVER. It means "inability to restain oneself" irrespective of the the reason why one cannot restrain oneself. Cheers now...

It's both, actually.

AKRASIA /əˈkreɪzɪə,əˈkrasɪə/ noun: the state of mind in which someone acts against their better judgement through weakness of will.

AKRASIA (/əˈkreɪziə/; Greek ἀκρασία, "lacking command" or "weakness"), occasionally transliterated as acrasia or Anglicised as acrasy or acracy, is described as a lack of self-control or the state of acting against one's better judgment. The adjectival form is "akratic".

The King at his best.