All Comments on 'Monster in the Mirror'

Satisfying finish. I felt really bad for Scott, but Gemma seeing herself as a monster was the perfect ending.

No winners here!

That was a tough one to read. Both monsters now have to live knowing what they did to a good.husband and lifelong friend. Being away from a cold bitch like Gamma can't be much punishment. Great story.

She has a bleak, unrelenting future in front of her. She can't outrun herself and that mirror's always going to be there.

Poor Scott, finding out you have terminal cancer and your wife leaving you on the same day... ouch!

There were no redeeming qualities, to die listening to a known liar, the worst fate ever.

Interesting, creative plot

You delivered a lot in a few words. Five from me!

5 stars

I really do hope that some bad fate comes to Tim and I hope she truly suffers more than this appears. And to then lie to the guy while he dies? I guess that MAY be better than restating the truth. Would have been great if somehow he left her poor and homeless.

...if Matt wants us to reconcile with Gemma? Tim is certainly a lost cause, but Gemma? Nice story. *****

Having lived through 18 months of hell with a wife undergoing cancer treatment,I would never judge anyone who strayed under those circumstances. Unless you have been through it you cannot possibly know how it feels. She was no monster, just someone whose strength failed. Well written but with no understanding of the situation.

o

Yse, there are uncounted numbers of siblings, friends, who remarry a widow /widower. While the spouse was alive they repressed, controlled the desire in their hearts.

So your story really is all about the timing. You wrote the characters so that they couldn't wait six months or so, 🙄.

I'm left ambivalent with feelings about your story. The writing is good. But the plot feels like a poor manipulation.

Thanks for the effort, again MattblackUK.

AMerryman

That was a moving story and well told. Thank you.

5*

Typical slut who only thinks of herself, and a backstabbing best friend.

Well written and conceived. Obviously rubbed some people the wrong way....which, in this case, is IMHO evidence that Black has written something powerful.

Excellent. Remarkably emotional for so short a vignette. Great storytelling.

and beautifully done. No one could say it was fun, but a very powerful story.

Thanks, ohio

5*

No doubt about that. But that being said it was simply an awful story. Maybe if you had put a tag on this people could have had the option on whether or not to read it. Maybe if you had posted it in "Non erotic" that would have been acceptable. But having the wife desert, albeit unknowingly, her husband that was dying of cancer is simply NOT my idea of an entertaining story. That's why I always hate the stories wherein a spouse gets killed. Can't you be more imaginative than death? We'll all get there, but who wants to read about it on a porn site?

2 stars

Another great job, Matt. I did my best to lift that lousy score.

Your best friend was always there for you as you went through cancer. He sold the business for you, and got a fair price for it (which means he cared and put real effort into it, and didn't just go through the motions). It sounds like he's a stand-up guy who was there for you for 2 years.

Then the best friend and wife with all the contact they have together, including often spending time alone as Scott is sick, fall in love. I, honestly, don't know how I feel about this story. Yes, what happens to Scott being alone, dying is awful, but neither knew that was his fate.

And last, a couple of summers ago traveling overseas, a virus attacked my system, that with all the tests they did they never figured out what it was. I was in the ICU for 6 weeks, was in a coma for a few days and was supposed to die. I told my wife two things. First, I didn't want my son at the funeral (he's 12). I wanted his memories of me to be when I was alive and we hung out, talked and did things together. Not seeing me lying dead in a casket.

And the second thing I told her was that "life is for the living." I didn't want her to lose herself and be depressed for a long time. I told her I wanted her to move on, find love again, a good father for my son, and a good husband for her. I say this because with Scott in the situation he was in, if he loved his wife knowing that he is dying, he would want her with a good man, and at least someone watching out for her. And since he was Tim's lifelong friend, I'm assuming he considered him to be a good man.

It's a fucked up situation, but being part of a fucked up situation doesn't necessarily mean that there are monsters involved.

That was hard to read, but very, very well told. Tim deserves to burn in hell. As for Gemma, I have a little first hand experience. In my case, I was the one that was pretty sick a couple of times....once for a full summer.....with weird intestinal twisting that saw me having to wear an ostomy bag for three months. My wife was a rock for me. So I find it hard to forgive Gemma since my wife never once complained about anything.

Gemma, and of course Tim, would be on a no visitors list at the hospice just in case they came looking for Scott.

Story in the contest. Very strong storyline and meaning. She deserved to see that monster in the mirror. Tossing aside a love for greener grass, shameful. 5

.... we have failed ourself, and there’s no excuse. And the scar on our soul will disfigure us forever. So well done. 5*

Got tears in my eyes. Good story!

5*. She will be haunted forever. Best burn in a long time.

I call this the curse of being polite. If he had straight away told his wife his final prognosis, she hopefully would have not shared her feelings with him sparring his anguish.

Well crafted and full of emotion. Glad to see a story from my twin that is so well done. "Always bet on Black." Randi.

So your wife's dying of cancer and all you can think of is finding someone else to screw? Did I get that right?

Excellent story about the pain of not only cancer but people's reaction to it. She will have to live with her betrayal, which may be worse then anything else in her life.

Short (and not sweet)and the delivery, very effective. Thank You

Powerful. There is nothing more to say. Definitely a 5* story.

Great story, but hit a llittle too close to home. Having said that you hit all the spots but, also sadly, I don't think there a lot of women, or men for that matter,, who would feel as Gemma did in the end. After all, isn't it all about "us" and "me".

Personally, for people like this I wish curses really worked.Because I would curse Gemma and Tim to a life of misery and failure in everything they touched from that point on. But I'm an unforgiving ashoile. Go figure.

Best regards,

C

"but neither knew that was his fate." - True, but if they had put their own selfish interests on hold for a bit (They DID know he had cancer, a terminal prognosis was always a possibility), they would have found out that all they had to do was what they had been doing. then could have been together with everyone's blessing.

Hell, Scott probably would have given them his blessing!

Small master piece of hopelessness, and double betrayal. The only kindness fate left him was that his time was running out shortly and with it his suffering. I feel sorry for the living they have to live with their betrayal. At least he died with dignity and his last moments were happy. Thanks for the story. It deserves a 5. Don't sweat it guys, for we all have a monster inside waiting to come out. The challenge is to keep it hidden inside.

As a cancer survivor whose wife withdrew during my treatment. I identify with this story and perhaps understand how Scott may have felt. I know this is just a story but there is truth in it.

Fred

... and I love really dark.

Well-written. Good job.

Hooked

The emotion it invoked was real and heartbreaking. You, at the same time, hate Gemma and pity her. Your heart breaks for Scott. Tim, you just want to throw him off the nearest skyscraper. Timing is everything as life is just a series of moments.

There's a lot to unpack in one page. I liked how you portrayed Tim as a person who was jealous. Not a typical, "I get off stealing a man's wife," guy. He did get off that way, but he was jealous. It made him more complex.

Gemma was also a shade of grey. At the end, she wanted Scott to go out happy. I think that act redeemed her. You gave enough clues that Tim was taking advantage of a woman in a difficult situation.

Of course, I hope Gemma finds true happiness in the end. It's a Piper thing.

Simply the best!

It is indicative of the power of this story that the majority of the comments are from respected authors. In the time I’ve been on this site I’ve never seen this happen. You’ve earned the praise of your peers.

5* for this short, concise story of betrayal. O Henry worthy.

I feel that Scott did give them his blessing. He signed the decree, he left them to live their lives without him being intrusive. He knew that he would be gone from their lives soon so why prolong the inevitable.

I don't think he was all there the last night. My guess would be a morphined dream state. People know when the last hours are there.

Great, appropriate Title

T.T.

A fitting outcome for the cheating lovers, to turn their backs on a deathly ill husband and an almost best friend especially while he’s “recovering “. Not caring about the last doctors appointment. Getting stabbed in the back even before he gets to die. Even though she makes a token appearance the night he dies, a little late for that. They deserve a life of guilt and remorse spent separately. My congratulations on an awesome story MattBlackUK. I always enjoy your writing, sorry some people can’t see the work of an artist for cum blocking their eyes!

Jay

Just excellent.

But wait! Did Scott really think the divorce papers were a bad dream, or was he still being kind to Gemma by feigning forgetfulness? His final hours were shared equally with a sense of joy and pride of accomplishment as a couple.

Only a woman with no soul could believe what you do concerning Scott's "blessing"

Thank you for this sad story of betrayal and punishment.

Sad and morbid but interesting.

Still, nothing to do with "Burning down the house".

So no ratings from me.

This one hit way to close to home wirh me....excellent storygj79WU

ppl fall in love.....ppl fall out of love...it happens

2starrs

I can't imagine how Gemma is going to manage to live with the guilt.

What the fuck is with people today? Wait, first & for the record, I know it's a work of fiction. That said, life imitates art and I'm sure this scenario, and likely worse, has happened. I don't know how people can say they couldn't help it. I fell in love with a buddy's then wife when he got locked up in state prison and I never even let her know how I felt and believe me, I so very much wanted to fuck her. The only reason I did not follow through on my desires was because IT WAS WRONG! I am not the most disciplined man so "I couldn't help it" is bullshit to me. The true reason for the shitty behavior is because of everybody feeling entitled to do it. They think nothing is more important than what they fucking want, everyone else be damned. Who gives a fuck what you want? What is right is infinitely more important than what you want. Moral relativism and the demise of absolute right & wrong is rotting humanity away from the inside and will end humanity and I say "Good riddance, the species is more trouble than it's worth"

I hope he had time to make a will leaving everything to the hospice so the cheaters get nothing.

Had she listened to him first rather than being so eager to betray him she might have got both

Gamma deserves to spend the rest of , hopefully, a long life remembering what she did. Tim deserves the same fate as Scott, only dying completely alone.

Good story enjoyed

As other comment am glad she went first

Could have had it all

Let Me Get this Straight ,, I am Dying and My Wife says She Loves My Best Friend ?? Gee I wonder what I would do ? I know That I would not Leave her a penny to live on .. Give it to My Favorite Charity instead also take out a loan on the House..

He left her everything. Yes that is right everything.

All the money he got when he sold his company. Everything.

She would now have to live with the guilt of what she had done to her husband.

She donated all the money to the Saint Peregrine Laziosi unit to ensure the last moments of other sufferers would be pleasant and full of love. She worked for the unit until her death at 75, She joined her husband in the after life.

Tim's guilt ate at him for years. How could he hurt his friend so badly? What sort of person was he? He committed suicide in his late 40's. His note appologised to his friend and begged forgiveness.

Very well done.

Myself. Genetic cancer has taken a very large portion of my immediate and extended family, it hasn't been that long since the good Doctors have told my wife several times they did not expect me to make it, aka circling the drain. But you could ask her and she would tell you I can be a very stubborn man although those might not be the exact words she would use. Any story with a theme such as this is very painful for me to read and if for no other reason than that *****. But since it was so well written I give it 5 Stars anyway. All she had to do was listen to what his news was and all of the guilt and horror she and Tim are going to face could have been avoided. Now there isn't a chance for their relationship to survive except in their own private little hell that they so richly earned. Signed: BTW

So sad, a true horror story about monsters, real and in the Id.

A true horror story with monsters as normal looking people. One of the best shorty stories I have ever read. 5*

Well damn. She feels guilt; though, not love. Better than a cancer riddled body at least.

Going back to see why I like MattblackUK so much. This is probably his darkest and maybe best work. Nothing much is as good as this.

That's damn near literature right there. Poe would have slapped you on the back and bought you a beer.

Bleak, dark, poignant, and excellent!

scott should have left a note for her that said "BURN IN HELL SLUT!"

Damn

Such a sad tale. Both wife and friend are monsters. Fuck them forever.

Five Stars

Sad tale. Not really a BTB story. Still 5 stars...

i hope she suffers for the rest of her life in fictional hell as well as the bf

Very sad but such is the frailty of the human mind, where lust is misconceived as love! What a dreadful betrayal, by both his wife and his"best" friend. May they live long, to suffer their punishments. 5*s.

Another good one but sad. There are so many people that think only of themselves. This applies to every marriage that ends because of infidelity. The cheater is only think of themselves with no thoughts about the family and emotional hurt that they have caused everyone. just so the can find themselves.

It was good at the start but the ending I felt was flat. This was in my opinion is the scene where a meaningful dialogue/conversation would take place between them but sadly the ending felt flat. What in tarnation that selfish woman Gemma really want? Now that Scott is dead she's gonna live like a nun?! What a stupid woman.

I don't think we're told how long they've been married, but just how long does that "burning, all-encompassing love" last for most couples?

\

"he hadn't liked the idea of Scott and Gemma living together, even in separate rooms, whilst the divorce went through." - Fuck, it's not enough that he's stealing, and that's what it is, stealing, even if she wants it too, his BEST FRIEND'S wife, but he'd begrudge him a few more months with his wife, and so what if they DID have sex? They're still married, she still has SOME feelings for him, would it be so terrible for her to give him some sexual relief?

\

Tim has a lot of fucking nerve feeling ANY jealousy.

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It would have made a better ending with a nun coming to their apartment with Scott's last possesions, to inform them the poor soul had already departed. A gloomy and perplexed Gemma would ask about his body and the nurse-nun would answer, "Oh, it was cremated and we scattered his ashes in the sea. That was his last will".

I reckon the writer has good imagination to tell in the story, but lack of how to finish story. The story still hanging and can improve further

A great story, and I think the ending is perfect. Gem a and Tim will never be able to forget or forgive themselves for their betrayal of Scott. Monsters is the perfect description of the two people he had trusted completely.

Excellent, I hope both monsters die with broken hearts. But as with most selfish people they will find someone else to suck the life out of. That is why they exist.

One of the best short stories on Literotica.com

Still I think it a shame that Scott didn't leave a new Last Will and Testament which bequeathed everything he owned to the Saint Peregrine Laziosi unit of the Hospice of Saint Jude. Along with the will he should have included copies of the signed divorce papers to show any interested parties that it was Gemma's desire that they divorce so that she and Tim could marry.

5stars well-earned! BUT, they didn't actually cheat. They never committed the act before telling him. In fact, she took the only honorable course and told him before anything happened. Of course, their timing sucked. Damn hope burn on the rest of it though. 👍

A nice little morality tale about faithfulness, sensitivity and true love vs situational gratitude. And also about the real monster in our world; cancer.

Well written. The ending is apt. She loses the man she truly loves and has to live with the guilt. 5 stars!

Yeah... I can attest to this. It's why I haven't seen my sister in 14 years. She thought it clever to pass on talking inheritance with my dad while he was still alive. Once cancer claimed his life, my sister went after my mom (her stepmom) with vengeance, telling her drop dads urne in the toilet, among other things. Luckily, my sister gets nothing until my mom dies, which hopefully won't happen for a very long time to come!

Point being, there are many types of monsters in this world. Many. Cheating spouses, greedy children, bad step-parents, etc. All in all, a cruel world.

The story lacked real retribution. And Alvin, you idiot, emotional cheating is as bad if not worse than physical cheating.

5 stars and well worth it. This is a re-read for me. There are many stories on this site that inspire us, make us contemplate our lot in life...this is one of those...great read...thanks. (Brad)

I gave it four stars, down one, because I thought the pace was pretty fast, and this is a story which would flesh out very well. Genuinely sad, even bittersweet. I do wish that people, touched by a story, would refrain from personalizing it in their comments, or flaming each other, but oh well.. maybe it's therapeutic somehow.

The point of this story is to be manipulative, not to recount or portray real people, and real reactions and emotions. Simplistic and inane

Great story.

As with the rest of yours, could have been easily fleshed out a bit m ore

Another strong, sad story. I must confess that I initially expected him to come back and shoot them both as a "life sentence" wouldn't have taken him very long to serve. I think that his diagnosis combined with her news would have completely crushed him and I like that way that you kept the focus on Gemma rather than on Scott. The stress on her and the developing love for Tim, her support, is understandable in the circumstances (it can happen) but Tim should have taken great care not to take advantage of her, not even to let her transfer emotions to him. Scott's last words and his death let her see what a terrible thing she had done to him. It is well-written - and I can see her regretting her path for a very long time.

What a sad tale!

WOW! Short and to the point, though it was a rough read.

That was Raw, very sad, but so well written, I can't give it less than 5*. However but I would like to have seen him alter his Will, so that the cheating wife didn't benefit from his wealth.

i would have liked if he left all of his money to the hospice so she couldn't have it.