Moon Rise Ch. 09

I was on edge, and that wasn't a good thing. Being here should have helped calm me a little, allowed me to maneuver throughout and sip here and there if I needed to. A kiss, a caress... they were small, tiny takings and would never fill the void inside of me, but they helped. But... there was just something about the man in front of me that made me pause and just want to bathe in his light... his energy.

Ezra was still sitting there, looking a little uncertain and uncomfortable, and when I smiled tightly at him, hoping to calm us both from the discomfort, his face smoothed a little and he gave a roguish grin that I found... painfully adorable. Something as strong as he was should not have been able to be called "adorable", but there it was. He reached over and his fingers slid into my palm and it was almost like being electrocuted for a moment. I almost pulled my hand back, but he grasped my fingers, and I met his eyes, surprised. I could feel a warm, vibrant, refreshing current of pure energy passing from his fingers into my body, stronger than any I had ever managed to syphon while nude and in the midst of sex itself. When I met his eyes, they were luminous, shining, full of light and energy. Only that glowing light hinted that he was purposely choosing to allow my touch to draw his lifeforce into me. But all I could process was the gentle, inquisitive smile, and it soothed me almost more than the touch of energy... which immediately soaked into my frayed nerves, like a parched plant absorbing a sip of water and sun.

"You looked..." he hesitated, clearly looking for a polite word.

"Hungry," I said directly, almost defiantly. There were no pretty words for what I was and did. No sense in letting him pretend otherwise. As cute and sweet as he seemed, letting him get too close was simply a bad idea. Perhaps honesty would wipe away that hopeful smile?

"Yes." He didn't exactly frown but the smile vanished. "Are you alright? You seem more uncomfortable than I was at the game the other night."

"I..." What the hell did I tell him? I was being blackmailed by someone, potentially some sort of fucked up Crypti-Supremacist group, because I was too damn weak to eat my prey like a good sexual energy vampire and now I had the justice and executioner of Edom shadowing me everywhere whilst my demon queen mother sent the creature I both loathed and feared most in the world to "keep an eye on me" also? Dear Goddess. It would certainly make him run, though, wouldn't it?

"It's been... a rough few days." The understatement of the century, to be sure! Why was I hedging with him? Why did I want to keep talking to him? Relationships within the Crypti community were often shit and not worth the effort. They were... fleeting and painful or else forever and of convenience, by and large. Why was I even bothering with him?

Because he seems human, my own mind responded. My mind or my heart? It didn't matter. There was humanity in him. That made him... dangerous. I don't know how any small amount of humanity managed to exist inside any of us, even when we were cross-bred with humans. Over time, what we were tended to kill any real emotion that could be described as "love". Maybe he was just so young that it hadn't happened to him, yet. I didn't want to be the one to teach him this ugly lesson. I knew he would never forgive me... as I had never forgiven Dominic.

"Want talk about it?" He asked and seemed genuinely concerned and interested.

"I..." I did want to. I wanted to tell him everything, unburden my soul to someone. Not anyone... I wanted to lay myself bare before him. And that was sheer insanity. I knew nothing about him! I slowly retracted my hand, and gave a small, grateful smile. "You're very good at that," I said, changing the subject.

He gave a rueful smile. "It's in the DNA. Grandad's a healer, you know? Raphael? It's his thing. Must have skipped a generation, because my dad didn't have it."

"You... have met him, then? I mean, an actual archangel?"

He gave a little nod. "Yeah. Since Mom and Dad only sort of had an idea how to control the um... abilities, when I was a kid, I would spend summers training under him."

It wasn't even feigned, my genuine amazement. Despite the power that modern believers gave to the Christian god and his creatures, they didn't make much of an appearance in the middle realm. It could be argued because of the worldwide belief in the Abrahamic faiths, they should have ruled us all, but for some reason it almost seemed like the more powerful the being, the less they bothered with humanity. Except that is, of course, for Jesus. I hadn't personally met him myself, but he was known to show up in all the oddest places. I once spoke to a witch that ran a recreational marijuana dispensary who said that Jesus and Hermes once came in for a few ounces one evening and stayed to chat with a few of the customers. Apparently many a case of glaucoma was cured that day. And more than a few people returned to say that whatever it was that they had smoked that day was in fact, the best shit they had ever had. It had made me laugh and I didn't doubt it. Especially when she added that no one was at all shocked to find that a few small items had also been absconded with, but nothing too dear, thankfully. The items were later returned with a note that read: "Sorry for the misappropriation of the bong, vape pen and Grateful Dead shirt. You have my word that my friend was appropriately scolded. J."

"So... he came down for the summer?" I asked, still a little in awe.

Ezra gave another grin. "Yeah. When I was in college, he would work night shifts at the hospital. When he could, he would have me ghost him so I could work with people that really needed him."

"Doesn't that sort of... cross the line on how involved they are allowed to get?" I asked, genuinely curious. "I mean, I don't know many Crypti of any power level that get that close to humanity for fear of tearing The Shroud. Or... is it just that they are so powerful it doesn't really apply to them? Other than Jesus, you don't see a lot of the Abrahamic powers getting involved in the world."

He shrugged. "I honestly never gave it much thought. I mean, there were no miraculous healings or raising the dead. The first thing he taught me was that there is a reason for life and death and to interfere too heavily would upset the balance, so to be careful where I used my abilities. It's ok to soothe the symptoms of cancer, for example, or to help someone healing from surgery, but you can't make the cancer just vanish or make them heal overnight; that would tear the Shroud of Secrecy and if I was found to have been the one to do it, being mortal and living here, I would be subject to the consequences." He seemed to consider for a moment. "But would he if he could? I honestly have no idea. He is what he is, and an angel above all follows orders."

"What's he like?" I asked, unable to keep myself from being truly interested. I didn't know very many other Crypti that had a pedigree as colorful as mine, and gods knew I hated when people asked me what Lilith was really like. But he seemed to enjoy talking about his grandfather.

"Serious. Very serious. He isn't especially affectionate, save with my dad. And even then, it's more... like pride rather than affection. I think he was really proud of my dad."

"Was?" I asked, and was surprised that I genuinely felt sadness at the past tense of the world.

"He... passed into the next life," Ezra's eyes darkened with sadness and I actually reached out to take his hand again. I didn't think about it, or plan it, but I did it nonetheless. I hated seeing such sadness in his eyes. He squeezed my fingers and gave me a gentle smile, to show me he was ok. "It's... long past."

"I'm sorry for it nonetheless." And I was, for some reason. What the hell was this... emotion? I mean, don't get me wrong, I felt just like anyone else, but... it look me time to genuinely care for anyone. But with him... It's like I just couldn't help myself and honestly the feeling frightened me more than a little.

"You're kind," he said and I almost shook my head.

"I'm really not at all, Ezra," I said quietly, but seriously. "I'm... you have no idea who and what I am. I mean, not just genetically speaking, but my life, the things I have done. You're very fortunate; all of your Crypti makeup is all fairly benign and easily used for good. All of mine... it's a force of destruction." Saying it, I felt the truth of it in the pit of my endlessly starving soul and couldn't help but despair just a little, knowing that I could never be good like him. Could never give of myself the way that he did. I began to gather myself to stand, to leave. I was no good for him. I no longer feared he had anything to do with the pictures or what was happening in my life. He didn't have the character for it. Or he was the best actor in the world, but I was no slouch at analyzing someone, particularly if I have tasted them. And while I may not have ended up in flagrante dilecto with Ezra or even seen him naked, I had enough of his light running through me at this moment to simply know he wasn't capable.

"I should go," I said, standing and he looked hurt. I hated it and it compelled me to try to explain. "Ezra... you... you deserve something better than me. Truly you do. You deserve a woman who is as caring, giving and selfless as you are. I am not...nor I will never be... that woman."

"Who said that was the sort of woman I wanted?" He responded, just as quietly and he met my eyes. His were... all but glowing. Golden, warm, so full of his power and energy. The effect on me was instantaneous. I could feel the thin strip of cotton covering my most intimate places grow damp in response. I felt my nipples harden to tight, aching peaks beneath the sheer fabric of the green silk blouse I had put on. I knew they were incredibly visible beneath the sheer fabric of my blouse and the barely-there coverage of my lace bra. I could feel my heart pounding and hear the blood rushing in my ears, pooling inside me intimately, turning to molten, aching want for his touch.

"Don't hunt tonight," he said, his hand encircling my wrist. "Let me..."

"Ezra, don't. You don't know what you're asking." I closed my eyes, trying to control my desire, to ignore the heat where he touched me. "Have you ever been with a Buveur D'âme? A vampire of any sort?"

"Yes. A Sanguine." A traditional, blood drinking vampire. Like Madeline. But he said without hesitation or implication it had been a negative experience. "But what you are... it is not who you are."

"Isn't it?" I looked him squarely in the eye, keeping my voice low so that only he heard me. "I am the daughter of Lilith and Asmodeus." The look of shock was brief, but he tried his best to cover it. "Even I don't know exactly what I am. I am only just starting to figure it out and I am no less than four centuries centuries on this earth. And just how old are you, little Nephlilim?"

"Does it matter?"

"It could matter incredibly if you want to play with fire. Would you care to match a four century old hunger against the will and well-meaning if a man who hasn't even seen his third decade? And you are just that, Ezra, for all your genetics. You are a man. You are genetically predisposed to want me. You are only one step above food to my body. And if you are not careful, you will get eaten."

I turned and he dropped my hand, but not without saying: "I don't think you give me enough credit, Tempest. Or yourself."

"Maybe," I admitted. "But you didn't see the dead man they hauled out of my bed earlier this week." I couldn't bring myself to look at him as I said it; I didn't want to see his horror or disgust. I somehow just knew he would have a more modern sense about actually killing a feed. The ancients wouldn't begrudge it; they did it all the time. It was often a matter of course, the very reason why they'd created the group that had evolved into The Cleaners when The Shroud had come into effect, to hide what we did. Hell, Odin alone had a pile of skulls all slain in his name, willingly and not. But I somehow doubted this man would see death as such a fact of Cryptozoic life. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and walked away without another word, never looking back.