tagHumor & SatireMore Fucked Up Fairy Tales

More Fucked Up Fairy Tales


Beauty and the "Beast"

Once upon a time a merchant set off for market, where he planned to sell some his freshly harvested weed. Before he left he asked each of his three triplet daughters what she would like as a present for their 19th birthdays. The first daughter wanted a brocade dress, the second a pearl necklace, but the third, whose name was Beauty – she was her father's favorite and sweetest of them all, and so despised by her sisters – said to her father, "All I'd like is a nice big cock to suck! Bigger than any I've ever choked on before!!"

As soon as the merchant left for this business, Beauty's two sisters turned on her and began playing a little game they liked to when their father was gone called "Plug the Pig." They dragged her out to the pig pen where they kept their small collection of oinkers, tied her bent over and legs-spread to the pig feeder, and then sent messengers to all the local farms. The messengers invited all the farm hands who wanted to play Plug the Pig to bring themselves immediately and feel free to do.

Needless to say there was a huge crowd of mostly young men gathered around the pig sty, although a few were older and more grizzled. All of them, regardless of age, were filthy, stinky, and splattered with the shit of various animals that always accompanies farm work. Beauty's sisters always let the men gather and gawk at her predicament a while, letting them take in the sight of her struggling to get free, of her perfect ass and well exposed pussy, of her lips moist now with the sweat trickling down her face.

They found this tends to heighten the experience, make them even more eager, and more willing to pay the ever-increasing price they charged to gang fuck their sister.

So after having around two dozen farm workers from the surrounding country side arrive at their small pig pen and leer lasciviously at the bound Beauty, her sisters finally began to allow two men at a time in to fuck her. Now, this game is called "Plug the Pig" for a reason, a gigantic ass plug having already been inserted into Beauty's tight little ass. The men would position themselves behind and in front of the perfectly positioned treat and either slide their cocks into her mouth her right up her pretty little pussy. The men took no care in her whatsoever, merely fucking her like the pigs they normally did on their own farms, leaving her as muddy and shit-splattered as they themselves were. By the time they were done, Beauty was covered and filled with the cum of numerous local farmers and field hands, and her sisters were several hundred dollars richer!

Meanwhile, the merchant had finished his business, having sold all of his bud and having raked in a ton of money. Before setting off for home, however, the merchant decided to look for a nice bordello where he could get some fresh pussy. He had been getting regular blow jobs from Beauty – which is why she was his favorite – for the past year so he would let her sell some of his product on the side for no charge, but she wasn't willing to fuck him for it and so he was seriously jonseing for some sweet cunt. As he looked around for a whorehouse, a sudden storm blew up and his horse could hardly make headway in the howling gale. Cold and weary, the merchant had lost all hope of getting laid when he suddenly noticed a bright light shining in the middle of a wood. As he drew near, he saw that it was a castle, which he assumed housed a bordello...because who the fuck else would have a castle out here in the middle of fucking nowhere?!

"Oh, yes!" he said to himself, "not only am I going to get laid tonight but hopefully I'll find shelter there for the night." When he reached the door he saw it was open; but though he shouted, nobody came to greet him. He went inside, still calling out to attract attention because he had a hard on that could drive a nail. On a table in the main hall a splendid dinner lay already served. Starved as much as he was horny, the merchant lingered over a delicious dinner, and then he relaxed with some of his own personal weed, but still neither madam nor whores arrived to see to his needs.

Overcome by curiosity, he ventured upstairs, where the corridor led into magnificent rooms and halls. A fire crackled in the first room and a soft bed looked very inviting, especially when he saw there was a figure already lying there in the bed.

"Well, it's about goddamn time," he groused to himself. "Strangest fucking whorehouse I've ever visited."

It was now late, and the merchant could not resist. He got in bed next to the soft, supple figure and began to rub his cock against the whore's ass – when suddenly out of the bed sprang a handsome young man with the largest, hairiest cock the merchant had even seen! That horrible beast had to have been at least 14 inches long, was thicker than the merchant's arm, and was shaggy and furry! The young man glared at him with two bloodshot-angry eyes which gleamed wildly, and then spoke in a deep, terrifying voice, "What the fuck are you doing, you sick bastard?! Ungrateful man! I was going to give shelter; you ate at my table, but now you try to butt fuck me?!! I shall put you to death for this slight!" Trembling with fear, the merchant fell on his knees before the Beast.

"Forgive me! Forgive me! Don't kill me! I'll do anything you say!"

"Anything?" the man said, grabbing his massive cock and waving it at the merchant's face. "Even suck 'The Beast' for me?!"

"Umm...OK, not anything," he merchant demurred. "But listen, I have a daughter. Totally hot and a real cock sucker – trust me, I know. I bet she would come here and suck that monster for you."

"Then I shall spare your life, but on one condition: That you bring me your daughter!" The terror-stricken merchant, faced with certain death if he did not obey, promised that he would do so.

When he reached home in tears, his three daughters ran to greet him. After he had told them of his dreadful adventure, Beauty put his mind at rest immediately.

"Dear father," she said, "you know I'd do anything for you, especially if it involves sucking a gigantic cock! Holy fuck, did you seriously think I'd refuse?! Don't worry, you'll be able to keep your promise and save your life! Take me to the castle. I'll stay there in your place!" The merchant hugged his daughter, grabbing her ass a little as he did so.

So Beauty was led to the castle. The man, however, behaved quite normally while the rest of the family was there, Beauty only able to imagine The Beast by the massive bulge being left in the man's leather pants. Everyone enjoyed a delicious meal, followed by games and brandy. The merchant knew it was time to go when he also could see the bulge The Beast was making in the man's pants – perhaps having something to do with the fact that Beauty's sisters had gotten so drunk they were now kissing passionately – and so bid Beauty good bye.

The first time the man whipped it out later that night, Beauty was frightened of The Beast and shuddered at the sight of it. Then she found that, in spite of the monster's awful head, her horror of it was gradually fading the more she played with it. She knelt before the man in his room as he sat naked in the wingchair by the fire place, just stroking The Beast, touching it gently, feeling the gentle touch of the fine long hairs that covered it, aroused by it steely hardness and thick veins. Beauty toyed with it playfully like a girl that has just gotten hold of her long-lost favorite toy, slowly reintroducing herself to all of its charms. Finally finding the courage to put the massive thing in her mouth, she found that the hair on it wasn't all that repulsive, and while she certainly wasn't able get all of it in her mouth she certainly was able to get most of it in.

The man began to growl deeply and happily, grabbing her hair tightly in his fist. "Mmm," he moaned loudly, "you are a good cock sucker. You like sucking big cock, little girl?"

"Mff," Beauty said, "Gnff auggh ng ng," which would have been "Motherfucking, goddamn do I like sucking big cock"...if a gigantic cock wasn't already shoved in her mouth.

"How about this?" he asked now as he began pushing her down onto her cock even as he slammed his hips forward. The tension in his voice was palpable as he spoke and it was clear to Beauty this man needed to cum desperately, even as he was literally shoving his cock down her throat. She didn't care; after all those games of Plug the Pig Beauty was awfully good at handling cocks down her throat. The man was now fucking Beauty's face with complete wild abandon, slamming his massive Beast into her with everything he had, Beauty making a sloppy gurgling sound with every such thrust. Beauty knew the man would soon cum, and braced herself for the inevitable.

Despite all the men she had been with in her time, Beauty was not prepared for what happened. As the man's massive amount of cum began to fill her mouth and his orgasmic scream ripped the night, a soft magical glowing filled the room. Even as he continued to pump away in her mouth she could feel the hair disappearing from his cock until it became as smooth and silky as any other man's. Aside from its massive length, The Beast was like any other cock by the time the man was done cumming and the soft glow left the room.

"How I've been longing for this moment!" the man said, still breathless from his orgasm. "I am Prince of all these lands, and ten years ago a haggard old witch arrived at my castle. When she saw my cock she wanted to suck it, but repulsed by her visage I refused her the honor. The evil witch turned my cock into that monster and only the blow job of a maiden willing to accept it as it was could transform my cock back into to the way it was. My dearest! I'll be so happy if you'll marry me."

"So the fuck would I!" Beauty nearly shrieked. "So what a minute, you had a 14-inch cock before the curse?"

"Well, yeah. Doesn't every guy?" Beauty just giggled very happily, knowing she was in for a long, happy marriage.

The wedding took place shortly after and, from that day on, the young Prince fucked and would be sucked by Beauty several times every day. And while everyone most certainly did not live happily ever after, the horse-hung Prince and his happy whore of a Princess sure as shit did!


Once upon a time there lived an unhappy young woman named Sinderella. Unhappy she was, for her mother was dead and her father had married another woman who was a total bitch. Her father, who was loving and kind to her, was unfortunately always away on business trips, and so she was left to the cruel whims of her stepmother. Stepmother was a widow with two daughters, and she didn't like Sin one little bit; as a matter of fact, she utterly despised the sexy young thing. All the nice things, kind thoughts and loving touches were for her own daughters, whereas poor Sin wasn't even allowed to wear clothes; she was only allowed to cover herself with the skimpiest of rags or, more frequently, nothing at all. Sin also had to endure nightly spankings in the dungeon.

Every night it was the same thing. First, Stepmother would order Sin to be naked and serve the trio in the nude, with the exception of high heels, a ball gag in her mouth and a butt plug deep in her ass. Stepmother would never miss an opportunity to crack Sin's ass with her ever-present riding whip, or to toggle to butt plug just for sheer cruel delight. After cleaning up from dinner and having a bite of bread crust, Sin would descend into Stepmother's dungeon.

While still gagged and butt plugged, Stepmother – now changed into a skin-tight, crotchless and braless black leather body suit that accentuated her already full tits and gum drop-like nipples – would bend Sin over a padded bench and chain her wrists and ankles to the floor. Stepmother would use her riding crop to lash Sin's ass to a swollen red mess, then strap on her gigantic dildo and replace the ass plug, butt fucking her viciously.

Finally, Stepmother would stalk in front of Sin so that her stepdaughter's face was perfectly even with her pussy, then grab a large clump of her hair and force Sin to lick her bright pink pussy. Stepmother would stand there with one leg up on a chair to allow for complete access to her pussy, which was bright pink, always wet, and framed beautifully by neatly trimmed silver-grey pubic hair, and simply delicious. Sin would lick, suck, and tongue fuck that delectable pussy as best she could, until Stepmother would eventually squirt her cummy delight all over the younger woman's face.

Now, truth be told, Sin didn't actually mind licking Stepmother's pussy, nor did she mind getting butt fucked, nor did she even mind getting spanked; she just wanted Stepmother to ask nicely to use her body rather than assuming she could!

But the cruelest thing Stepmother denied Sin – even worse than the good food, nice clothes, and comfortable life – was cock. Stepmother and the two sisters would always invite the sexiest, hardest knights in the kingdom to the mansion for an evening of entertainment, which inevitably ended up in the bedroom. But in yet another way of humiliating and tormenting Sin, Stepmother would make her sit in the bedroom and watch as she and the two daughters sucked, fucked, and licked their way through the night...or the knights, as the case may be. Poor Sin, all she was left to do was make her way to the kitchen in which she slept and fuck herself with the first convenient cucumber or carrot she could get her hands on!

The primary reason Stepmother hated Sin so much was that she was utterly gorgeous, with long curly auburn hair and a gigantic rack, whereas the daughters were really butt ugly. Easy, and always willing to suck cock or take it up the ass, but ugly nonetheless. Sinderella, even dressed in rags, was drop dead gorgeous; her stepsisters, no matter how splendid and elegant their clothes were still clumsy, lumpy and ugly and always would be. They did not merely get beat by the ugly stick; they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

One day, beautiful new dresses arrived at the house for the daughters. The Prince normally had a ball during the spring planting and another to celebrate the fall harvest, but he had been detained this year due to the inconvenience of having to invade some neighboring country or another. Therefore, he was combining the two, and all the loveliest ladies in the kingdom were invited to enjoy the Prince's two big balls. His balls were to be held as soon as possible in his favorite castle, and the stepsisters were getting ready to go to it. Sinderella didn't even dare ask where her gown was, because she knew Stepmother would say.

"You?" she knew her stepmother would sneer cruelly. "My dear girl, you're staying at home to wash the dishes, scrub the floors and turn down the beds for your stepsisters. They will come home tired and very sleepy." Then Sin would get her ass cracked smartly for such impertinence.

Sin sighed deeply as the trio happily trotted out the door, each giggling about how big they thought the Prince's balls would be.

"Fucking-A! Goddamn tits fuck shit piss cock!!" Sin yelled in a Tourette's-like moment of well-earned profanity. "I am so motherfucking unhappy in this shit joint, and I so need a hard cock! Goddamn it all to motherfucking hell!!"

Then, something amazing happened. In the kitchen, where Cinderella was sitting all by herself, there was a burst of light and a fairy appeared!

"Hey, hey, hey girlfriend!" said the fairy with a wave of his hand and a snap of his fingers. He looked somewhat strange, standing before Sin in a pink tutu, purple tights, and a black leather vest that was cut low enough to show his pierced male nipples. The little butterfly-like wings attacked to his back flapped madly, yet somehow seemed to keep his large size afloat. "Don't be alarmed, darling! The wind blew me your sighs, and my goodness, bitch, can you curse up a storm! Woo hoo, girl, you'd make a long shore man stop his ears! Now, I know you would love to get to the Prince's balls, and so you shall!"

"Umm...," Sin said. "No disrespect or anything, but aren't fairies supposed to have a magic wand? How can you cast spells without a magic wand?"

"Oh, girl, you clearly know nothing about us male fairies," he said, and whipped out his long, thin cock. "This is my magic wand...or least I've been told its magic!"

"Oh, awesome. But still, how can I get to the Prince's balls? How can I, dressed in nothing at all?" Sinderella replied, "The servants wouldn't let me into the castle...they'd be fucking me on the drawbridge until dawn!"

The fairy smiled, and said, "Mmhmm, and who could blame then? Damn, girl, you even make me want to fuck you, and I'm gayer than a bag of cocks! But anyhoo...watch this," With a flick of his magic wand, Sin found herself wearing the most beautiful yet sexy dress, the loveliest ever seen in the realm.

"Mmm, yeah, suck on that, bitch!" the fairy said to no one in particular. "Now that we have settled the matter of the dress we'll need to get you a coach. A real lady would never go to a ball on foot!"

"Oh, but I'm no lady. I'm really quite a slut and am hoping to get fucked long and hard tonight."

The fairy's "magic wand" suddenly grew even larger and stiffer than before, his jaw going somewhat slack as he drooled at her. "I am starting to question my career choice right about now. Damn, girl, you are one hot little cunt!"

"I do try."

"Well, try getting me a pumpkin!" he ordered. "And seven mice! And bring me a beer while you're at it!"

"Certainly," said Sinderella, rushing away. Sinderella soon returned with a fine pumpkin, seven mice, and a nice cold beer.

"Excellent," exclaimed the fairy. With a flick of his magic wand...he started beating the pumpkin with his cock. Sin at first wondered if this was just part of the magical ritual that would get her to the balls, but she soon realized that the fairy was just pretty much masturbating with the pumpkin.

"Umm...excuse me?"

Sin at first got no response, the fairy deeply entrenched in images of gay porn.

"Umm...umm...Mr. Fairy?"

"Mmm?" he sighed.

"Would you mind not fucking the pumpkin and getting back on with this? I'd really like to get fucked some time before the next millennium."

"Hm? What? Oh," the fairy said, opening his eyes and realizing he had gotten a bit carried away. "OK, sorry...here we go!" The fairy stroked his magic wand, and as he did sparkling fairy dust streamed out of it, turning the pumpkin into a sparkling coach and the mice into six white horses, while the seventh mouse turned into a coachman in a smart uniform and carrying a whip. Sin could hardly believe her eyes.

"Oh, my!" Sin squealed happily. "Now I'll look like a princess and I'll be sure to get the Prince's cock for sure!"

"You are fucking-A right you will, bitch!" the fairy said with a giggle.

"So, what's the beer for? How are you going to use it?"

"This?" the fairy said, taking a long chug. "This is because I'm thirsty. I'm going to drink it because it's hard fucking work being a fairy."

"Oh, OK. Is there anything else I need or can I go now?"

"Yes, there is one last special thing," the fairy said. He waved his magic cock wand, and a perfectly shaped glass dildo appeared before Sin. "Take this magic dildo and slip it inside that tight little ass of yours. This is help make you irresistible to the Prince...and also make you even hornier than you are now!"

Sin did as she was told, then the fairy smacked her gently on her head with his wand and said, "Now remember! You must leave the ball at midnight and come home. For that is when the spell ends. Your coach will turn back into a pumpkin, the horses will become mice again and the coachman will turn back into a mouse, and you will be naked again. Do you understand?"

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byTheBigandBaldGuy© 6 comments/ 33912 views/ 16 favorites

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