More Tales From the Guilds Ch. 17

"So about the Loko Scrolls, Stibbons?"

"Archchancellor, per your direction the Scrolls are kept in a separate room in the library with rather potent wards and spells to prevent anyone without proper authorization from getting to them. Young Darcy Birdwhistle has quite a talent for scrying and has been investigating ways to make it more convenient. As you well know, sir, usually we scry in a bowl of water made black with ink but Birdwhistle questioned whether it was the water, the blackness or the shiny surface that was the secret to the process. In order to test his question he went to the Street of Cunning Artificers and inquired at the Glassblowers' Guild if they might make him a black 'lens' in the shape of a shallow, filled bowl. After a modest amount of haggling and discussion of size, he returned to UU with his purchase. The next step is where things get--interesting might be the best term."

"Int'restin' or alarmin'?"

Stibbons sipped his brandy. "Only interesting thus far though alarming is a believable option. Having gotten permission from the Librarian, he took the lens into the Scrolls room, unrolled one and, for reasons of his own, lay it on the parchment. What he saw through the glass was not what was written on the scroll but what appears to be additional writing beneath the visible script."

"Beneath?"

"Yes, sir. And it wasn't only one scroll. All the others seem to be the same, documents with other documents invisibly beneath the writing we can see."

"And what d' they say?"

"It's too early to tell, Archchancellor. Birdwhistle just discovered it yesterday and reported it to Professor Pelc. Transcribing the hidden writing will take time, probably a good deal of time. Once that's accomplished the next task will be to translate it. Neither Pelc nor the Librarian can identify what little Birdwhistle has copied so it seems to be in an unknown language though the script is common Latatian. Right now it seems best to let Birdwhistle continue transcribing at least one Scroll before having Professor Rincewind have a hand with his strange talent for languages. Eventually it is likely that we will have two sets of Scrolls though what one set says in anyone's guess."

Above his impressive beard the Archchancellor's eyes narrowed. He puffed on his enormous carved brier in silence. Despite a well-deserved reputation for being bull-headed and far more interested in shootin' and fishin' than university business, Ridcully's knowledge and talent for magic was unsurpassed. There was a powerful brain under that pointy wizarding hat and right now it was aimed at the mystery of the Scrolls of Loko.

"So right now you're suggestin' that we take our time and patiently wait out young Birdwhistle's research?"

"That seems the most prudent path, Archchancellor, though I might suggest that his advisory group be expanded? His current mentor is the Professor of Creative Uncertainty."

"Hmmm. A study of this importance needs advice of a more stabile sort. Tell Creative Uncertainty that he's free to go about his business and that you, I, the Librarian and Professor Pelc will take his place. There is no room for uncertainty around the Scrolls of Loko!"

Stibbons silently but emphatically nodded in agreement.

*****

Time, as is its wont, passed. And with his advisory committee keeping a careful watch on him, Darcy Birdwhistle kept at his labors. The scroll he had chosen was not a particularly large one but even with his scrying lens, transcribing the palimpsest went slowly. He kept having to go back repeatedly to make sure that what he wrote on his blank scroll was, in fact, what was written beneath the visible script. Since he had no idea what the words meant, copying them using context was impossible and so he had to take exceptional care to get the hidden writing correct. It was a month and a half after taking the task up before he could report to Professor Pelc that he seemed to have the first scroll complete.

In his turn, Pelc also ran the scryer over the original and carefully checked Birdwhistle's work. Becoming satisfied that the transcription was correct the two of them and the Librarian took it to Ridcully's office and met with the Archchancellor and his Vice.

Soberly, Ridcully pored over the new scroll and finally commented, "A neat bit work this, young Birdwhistle. But you say none of the writing makes any sense to you?"

"None whatsoever, Archchancellor. The letters are pretty clearly archaic Latatian, and they obviously form words but what the words mean is, at present, pure gibberish. And in the ancient manner, there is no punctuation so where each sentence or even paragraph begins and ends is a mystery. I have read that cyphers can be decoded by counting words and comparing them to usual speech but we don't have any idea what the original speech might be."

"Hmph! Fortunately, we have a way of short-cutting the process."

He pulled a bell rope and in a moment a Bedlow appeared in the doorway.

"Wiggleigh, go fetch Nobbs and bring Professor Rincewind here. I suspect that he is hiding under the bed as he usually does after visiting the Counterweight Palace."

"At once, Archchancellor."

Birdwhistle looked puzzled after the Bledlow left. "Professor Rincewind goes out for Auriental food and then hides under his bed?"

Stibbons grinned. "He has a regular visit scheduled with the proprietress. Whether he eats anything there is a mystery but he always returns looking quite fatigued and depleted. Sometimes the trolls who escort him have to carry him back. He constantly mutters "Stercus, Stercus, Stercus, Morituri Sum" after each visit but we don't have to threaten him to make him go any more like we once did and he hasn't died yet so it can't be all that bad. Anyway, the Professor has an uncanny talent for languages. If anyone can make sense of what you have here, he's the wizzard."

Ridcully stared at the parchment before him, stroking his beard and shaking his head slightly.

"Y'know, gentlemen, the original Scrolls are records of the Evil Emperor's attempts to split the thaum which ended in disaster for him, though the rest of the Disc benefited by his death. If there is any chance that the hidden writing is as dangerous, we're going to have to move them down into the Library basement and lock them all up. We might bring them up for study under ward and spell when necessary but most of the time I suspect they need to be kept down with the worst books."

The Librarian nodded emphatically. "Ook!"

*****

Rincewind didn't have to be carried down to the Archchancellor's office but the two Bledlows were firmly grasping his arms as they guided him. Into Ridcully's office and down into a chair they took him before finally releasing their grip.

"Ah, Professor," Ridcully's were welcoming but the expression on his face was skeptical. He had had to give the man the position of Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography because the man had accomplished the task set out for him, but wasn't happy about it.

"We are once again in need of your considerable linguistic talents. We have an--unusual document here that no one else can read. Would you be so kind as to take a look at it?"

Rincewind was greatly relieved. Though his status at UU had increased markedly over the years from being total despised to generally tolerated, he was always worried that the Multiverse, in its usual malevolent, would turn against him (again!) and cast him out into the world to go back to running away.

"Of course, Archchancellor, where is it?"

"Right here. It's a palimpsest of one of the Scrolls of Loko, the script hidden under the original. Can you tell us what it says?"

Rincewind took the scroll in trembling hands and started scanning it. He stopped, rolled up again and then started from the other end and from the bottom. The others looked at him questioningly.

"It reads from bottom to top and right to left. Strangest thing I've ever seen. Let me see now..."

As he read silently, his face took on an expression of utter horror and sweat broke out on his forehead. When he finally finished, he re-rolled the document and put it down. Swallowing deeply and taking an equally deep breath he uttered, "Uh, this is a continuation of a set of instructions for turning a human being into an orc. It's--well, gruesome. And there are instructions for whipping them into battle. Where is the first part?"

Ridcully's immense hands came down on the table with a thud. He glowered.

"Birdwhistle, this is a tremendous accomplishment. Naturally the ghastly contents you uncovered are in no way your fault and once you have completed transcribing the rest, your doctorate is assured. However, as I am sure both Professor Pelc and the Librarian agree, they need to go into the basement. You needn't go with them. It's a fearsome place and only senior wizards ever go there and come back--and not all of them! Professor Rincewind, thank you for your assistance. There are a number of other scrolls that young Birdwhistle will decipher and naturally we will require you to read and summarize them before they go downstairs. He wasn't called the Evil Emperor for nothing!

And now gentlemen, it's time for Early Dinner. Let us make haste."