Motel Summer Ch. 02: Housekeeping

Authors Note: Motel Summer is a series of stories loosely linked together by a common set of characters and situation. Each story is (or will be) thematically distinct and can be read on its own.

This one goes from the sublime to the ridiculous, trading poetry for economics.

During the summer after my sophomore year in college, I decided to stay in town over the break and take some general ed courses to ease my workload in the fall. My landlady wanted to renovate the house I was renting with my buddies, and, since she owned a decent motel, she gave me a room there while she was renovating.

Good housekeeping is the foundation of a good life, my mother always told me.

My first week at the motel had been eventful, but when Monday rolled around it seemed like I was poised to fall back into the grind. I had a good job at a local bicycle shop, where the owner was teaching me the ins-and-outs of assembly and repair. And I had a pair of English lit courses at the college.

I think I may have been a bit down. My encounter with Sara had been a whirlwind of passion, excitement, lust, and infatuation. Couple that with a healthy dose of concern over our failure to use birth control, with evidence aplenty (in the form of two very young daughters) that at least her plumbing works, and I had a heady cocktail to keep my imagination spinning.

By Wednesday, though, I was ready to shake off the fugue. I couldn't do anything about the situation and on Wednesdays I didn't have class or work. I decided it was time to catch up on laundry. Unlike the house, the motel didn't have a setup for guests to wash things and they sent all their towels and sheets out to a service. I knew there was a laundromat near work, so I packed up all my dirty clothes up into a duffel and pedaled over.

The place was a hole in the wall, with ten washers and four huge dryers. I fired up a couple loads and sat down with my next reading assignment, Whitman's Leaves of Grass, to keep me company.

I was just getting settled when a perky gal came in to do her own stuff. She came with four identical white plastic baskets jammed up under her chin. Each was piled to overflowing with dirty clothes. Her setup was practiced and boom-boom-boom she had four washers fired up and going.

Her mission accomplished, she spun on her heels and walked out.

When my loads were done, I shifted them into one of the dryers. That's when I realized I didn't have any quarters left and the change machine seemed out of order. I peered out the front door and decided to go across the street to the liquor store to get change.

It took me a bit of time to negotiate changing some bills into quarters--apparently the owner was peeved with the laundromat guy for not fixing his change-making machine.

When I returned, Perky Gal was there, just firing off the fourth (and last) dryer. All four dryers were running and all of my clean wet clothes were sitting on a bench.

"Hey, um, no fair. I had that dryer."

"It wasn't running and you weren't here."

"I had to get change from across the street. The machine isn't working."

"Ya snooze, ya lose." She turned to go wherever she'd gone during the laundry cycle.

"Ah, so as soon as you go I can toss your lacy personal items on the bench and bogart the dryer for myself?"

"No, that would be stealing, since my coins are operating the dryer. Don't you understand the laundromat code?"

"I might be a dryer bandito. You can never tell in these one-horse towns."

"I don't think the ambulance will pick up your laundry or that bicycle."

"I suppose. But you might have consolidated. That's probably why there are fewer dryers than washers: the dryers can hold more stuff."

"I'm an economics major and I'm fairly sure this is a case of inefficient allocation. Also, I'm doing my roommates' laundry and I hate when our shit gets mixed up. You know, the whole 'sock that's not quite the same color' problem? Hate that."

"I hate that too, on the other hand, I don't think my stuff would blend in with your roommates. And since you're an economist, you'll understand how the value I put on my time might lead to a rent seeking opportunity for you."

"Careful. You might hurt yourself using those technical terms. I'm Lidia, by the way. You want to get some coffee?"

There were two weekday housekeepers at the hotel. There was an Hispanic lady, Elena, who seemed to do the bulk of the work. I think it was supposed to be split evenly, but Elena seemed to be done with her share before the other gal was even out of the starting blocks.

The other housekeeper had a name tag that said "Caryn" and she must have been a local. I think the job was a gift of the night manager, who was something like her third cousin--and she treated the work with disrespect. My first week there, I kept hearing Elena chewing her out for cutting corners on the small number of rooms she did manage to finish.

One of the rooms that Caryn made up every day was mine. My building was at the back of the property and usually she'd start on the room at the other end of the building and work her way to mine. That gave her maximum flake time because you couldn't really see the building from elsewhere on the property.

Thus, on Monday, I wasn't fretting about the need to hang the do-not-disturb sign when I hopped in the shower. It'd be noon before she even got close. I even left the bathroom door open to let the steam out. Instead I was shocked when, without warning, the front door of my room burst open and she strolled into my room mid-shower.

The scuzzy translucent curtain in the tub probably obscured me from casual viewing, but I still felt exposed by the sudden daylight spilling in from the front door. I could barely make out the housekeeper's form silhouetted in the light.

"Uh... hi. I'm not ready for housekeeping," I called out to her. I was rinsed off, so I reached out from behind the curtain for the towel.

"Hey, I can see that. Don't mind me." The front door shut again, which was good. If I'd thought the towels were kind of stingy before, now it felt like I was wielding a washcloth. It wasn't long enough to wrap around my waist and I didn't need to flash the neighbors.

Still dripping due to the inadequate towel, I stepped out to look for my boxer briefs, which was when I realized that she was still standing there, inside my room.

"Hey, I had you figured for a boxers kind of guy," she said. She was quite obviously checking me out. Sheesh. So much for playing it cool. What was she doing, still in my room?

"Sometimes, but I like these on the bike more. Keeps the package in place." Was I having this conversation? Why was I having this conversation?

"Hey, I see you haven't broken into the protection." She indicated the unopened box of condoms on my nightstand. "I thought you were boning the chick in 302." She meant Sara.

"I'm not sure it's any of your business?"

"Hey, just don't put any down the toilet. Krista gets pissy when they plug up the plumbing. And I'm not a big fan of the mess it makes either." Krista must be her cousin the night manager. Why did she keep saying "hey"?

"I'll, uh, keep that in mind, should I encounter the unlikely need to break into my supply."

"Hey, these give me an idea. Want to make some extra dough?"

"Hey," (two can play that game), "I like extra dough. Should I blow them up to make animal balloons?"

"Krista's been paying that fat old guy in 107 fifty bucks a week if he gives her a fresh load in a condom on Mondays. But he checked out over the weekend. I could get you the same deal!"

"What? That's crazy." I had by now pulled on some shorts, so was on firmer ground, so to speak. She was a good-looking girl, in a rangy "all elbows and knees" kind of way. "I have so many questions, starting with why? And what would you do with it? Also, why are you still in my room?"

"Mondays are the slowest day of the week. Krista and her posse like to play truth-or-dare poker on Monday nights. Some of her most-interesting dares are anonymous donor related."

"Now you're just making shit up."

"No, it's real. It won't be the same if she can't replace Mr. 107."

"So, like, I give you a fresh load in a condom and you give me fifty bucks? I won't get like four women suing me for paternity out of it, right?"

"That's the deal. And most of the dares are like smearing it on your boobies or something like that. And I think most of them are on the pill anyway... So, what do you say? Do you want to deal yourself in?"

I thought about it for a moment.

"Sure, I could use fifty bucks. You want to step out while I take care of it?"

"Well, I was hoping I could help you with it." She pulled out two twenties and a ten and put them on the nightstand. "You want to get yourself hard and I'll do the honors?" She held up the mustard-colored box and started to pull on the tightly glued end flap.

"This isn't some scheme where you get me in a compromising situation, is it?"

"I'll be honest, I have kind of limited experience with boys. I think you're kind of cute and it'd be kind of a hot little secret if you'd let me help. I have a fiancé, so I have too much to lose if anyone were to find out about this," she confided.

"Okay, this is pretty weird, but let's try it." She was kind of cute too and maybe this would take my mind off of Sara?

"C'mon, get with it," she urged. I turned my back and re-lowered my shorts and underwear. I started to touch myself. Unbidden, I had thoughts of Sara in the room next door, what it had felt like when she'd touched me the first time. This was... very unlike that? So much for taking my mind off of what I was feeling for her.

Meanwhile, Caryn inexpertly unsealed one of the foil packets and pulled out the payload, holding it distastefully. It was gooey with lubrication and smelled of spermicide. She came around the bed, looked down at my cock and laughed nervously. "Hey, I guess getting 'Ultra Ribbed for Her Pleasure' isn't going to be worth the extra cost this time. What do I do?"

"You put it over the end and unroll it. You want me to show you?"

"Nah, I got this." I had wilted slightly from the laughter and level of "situation-hood", but she was standing close enough that I could smell the conditioner in her hair. I noticed for the first time that she had grey eyes. Her hand brushed my cock and that was enough to reverse the trend.

"Is this your first time touching a guy?" We were intimately close.

"I told you, I have a fiancé. I've touched his dingus a few times."

"But you've never done it with him?"

"I was raised right. I'm not going to burn in hell for all eternity by doing it before we're married. Besides, if I give in to him, he'll have reduced incentive to marry me. I just want to get through college first." She had the condom on the end of my penis but was finding out that it was upside-down.

"But you're going to pay to stroke a guy off in his hotel room to get his sperm for your cousin's poker game?"

"Well, if you put it that way, it sounds kind of bad. But Jimmy--that's my fiancé--and I talked to Pastor Bob about it. He said that, as long as we each intend in our hearts to get married, well then God will overlook what he called experimentation." She had the condom the right way round now and was unrolling it. Her hand felt nice, caressing my cock.

"Yay for Jimmy. What about what we're doing just now--not that I want you to stop--but if Jimmy is your fiancé, how will God overlook your experimenting with me?" Her narrow fingers were finding their tempo. She knelt down to get a better view of the proceedings.

"I thought you engineering majors could figure that out? While I'm here doing this," she gave some more emphatic tugs, "I just need to fully intend in my heart to marry you. Then, when we're done, I can go back to intending Jimmy. Think of it like trading equity options."

"So, if I whipped out a marriage license right now, we'd be off to Pastor Bob?" I was experiencing a high rate of inflation now.

"Mmm. Totally. That would be making your 'call' on my option. Good thing you didn't pick one up. Jimmy would probably murder you and you'd probably go to hell for inciting a mortal sin. Talk about a market crash." I watched her fascination grow with the detailed mechanics of coaxing me. She grinned at the way I twitched in response to her fingers. Her eyes traced each stroke's reaction, how my skin moved.

"Isn't that kind of playing with the fine print on the not-a-sin thing? Won't God's lawyers have case for insider trading?"

"Oh, c'mon, everyone knows all of the lawyers are roasting in hell. And exchanging options is a completely normal part of a well-functioning market. Market intervention like that would just mess things up. Just relax and enjoy being my intended for the few minutes it'll last."

"Okay then." I tried to think of what it would be like to kiss Caryn. But instead, my thoughts slipped to thinking about Sara, about her whispering in my ear as I plunged into her, begging me to seed her womb. The feeling of her climaxing around me. I thought of the delight on her face as we made love. I remembered how explosive my climax with her had been. And I recalled the mixture of pride and concern I'd felt seeing hints of my pearly white cream between her vaginal lips. Caryn was able to cash out from there. She looked delighted as I shot my load into the rubber. Then, with almost medical precision, she pulled the condom off, knotted it, and was off with a "See ya!"

I looked at the empty wrapper and opened box. "Shortest engagement on record," I muttered.

On Tuesday, Caryn stopped by to say that some lady named Trisha had won my sample last night. She'd lost badly and had to eat a teaspoon of it, which sounded pretty gross to me.

"Thanks, I guess."

"I find the economics of the poker game revealing. Krista won't let me do more than watch until I turn twenty-one," she replied. "The sperm related dares and their counter bets really are great examples of game theory in action--in addition to being kind of hot, sometimes."

"That's an interesting way to study the dismal science."

"Oh yeah!" she giggled. "I don't know why they call it that, but I find it all very fascinating. Speaking of which, I was wondering..." There was a gleam in her eye. "It was cool, making you cum in the rubber and all. But, well, I was thinking maybe you'd let me see what it looks like without the condom?"

"Like, what, you giving me a hand job? Wouldn't Jimmy let you do that for him?"

"Jimmy only does stuff in the dark when we're parked in his truck somewhere. I just get whatever pokes out his fly. I never get to see anything. He gets all embarrassed when I want to talk about stuff like that. Yesterday was, well, the most I've ever seen of a guy's you know what. If you let me make you shoot off for me, that would satisfy this demand I'm feeling and it could satisfy your desire for, erm, reducing excess inventory. That would make it a balanced transaction!"

Oddly, I could see the logic in that. Lowering my pants, I sat down on the edge of my unmade bed and Caryn got on her knees in front of me, the better to see what was going on.

"Why is it so puny this morning?" she complained.

"We're starting from zero here. Talking about Adam Smith and his Invisible Hand weren't exactly foreplay?" She reached in tentatively to touch me, seizing the glans and pulling on it as if stretching it like taffy. Maybe it did something? Her first bid was sending my interest rate spiraling.

"I never had to do this with Jimmy," she remarked, "and my hand will not be invisible in its wielding of market forces."

"I'll bet with Jimmy you have already been kissing and making out by the time you get this far. I mean, are you wet right now? Do you have any capital invested in this joint venture?"

"Hey! That's inappropriate!"

"I thought you had picked up my fiancé option for today? Shouldn't I be concerned about whether am generating enough of a return?"

"Yeah. And I guess it's true that Jimmy and I have always been making out before he wants..." she halted, blushing. Her touches were doing the work of getting me ready for a few trades.

"I get it. But think about it: were you already aroused when I asked you?"

"Actually, I guess my futures contract was anticipating a bull market. I've been thinking about this all last night and this morning, so, yeah, you made me super wet. It was actually kind of inconvenient," she admitted in a small voice. My demand curve was really headed in the right direction.

I leaned back on my elbows, watching her enjoy the view. Her long face with its narrow aquiline nose, curling eyebrows, and thin lips were poised inches from my groin, marveling at the mechanics of our transaction.

"Um... I hate to mention it, but the condom is lubricated, but your hands aren't. You need to be a little gentle--that thing is sensitive."

"I don't have anything? Do you?"

"Usually people use spit."

"I'm not sticking that thing in my mouth. Nosiree, sorry!" She sat up in outrage.

"I'm not asking for a blow job. Just wet your fingers. Or get one of those little hand lotions from the housekeeping cart."

"Oh! I didn't think of that." She got up and grabbed the one in my bathroom. "Oh, that is better."

She went back to staring closely at my organ as she tugged away at it. Watching her was arousing. She was a pretty girl, and, after all, she was giving me a hand job. On the other hand, it felt strangely mercenary. It didn't have the seductive fever I'd felt with Sara just a few days before.

Thinking of Sara, I wondered where she was and what she was up to. I thought about her laugh, about cuddling with her. I could almost feel how her thighs nestled against mine, how she'd looked like with her milk-laden breasts swaying over me. That brought me to the brink.

"Oh yeah! You're going to blow. C'mon, Cal, give me your spunk!" Caryn begged. I could feel my cock swelling bigger in her hand and the tightening of my body as my imagination sent my orgasm surging out of nowhere.

I cried inarticulately as she laughed in delight. The first spurt landed on my chest, the second my belly, and finally a pulsing flood that slopped down into my belly button. Caryn carefully avoided getting any on her hands.

"That... was amazing. Your balls got all tight and I could see your hoo-haw flexing in my hand. So neat..." She poked just the merest tip of one index finger at the gooey blob. "Thanks!"

And then she bounced up and left me with my mess. Some housekeeper!

Wednesday was, as noted, my day off. I had no expectation of further visits from Caryn, at least until Monday. But apparently, she was hooked. But she tapped at my door right at 10 a.m. "Housekeeping."

I opened the door.

"Hello, Caryn. Housekeeping, or are you here as a market maker? We doing more arbitrage on your 'fiancé'?"

"Well... I have to clean up your room eventually. But..." She seemed reticent. Maybe the "fiancée" remark was making her nervous.

"It's okay. What's on your mind?"

"I didn't sleep very well again last night. I just kept thinking about seeing your stuff shoot out..."

"And what? You want to see it again?"

Meekly "... yes..."

"Maybe I should get a better return on my investment." She looked unhappy about that.

"Isn't my getting you off a pretty good deal?"

"I know this other economics major and she says past transactions can influence future costs."

"Oh my God, that must be Lidia! She's my study buddy and she's always saying crap like that."

"Actually, it is Lidia. Please tell me she doesn't do your laundry."

"No, I do my own, thank you very much. But, returning to the subject at hand, I think you're already getting a great deal: you get an orgasm and I have to do all of the work to get it. You have the raw materials and I provide all of the value add."