Mothers and Secrets

Madeline's face went from stubborn to cheerful in a blink. "Okay, sweetheart. I guess you're right. I'll pick it up on my way home from the office tomorrow."

Gabe's mouth fell open, but no zucchini fell out. He watched his wife smile at their son and stroke his shoulder.

"What the hell are you fawning all over him for? Have you gone nuts Madeline? I'm the one who..."

She cut him off with an acid glare. "Or maybe it should wait until Saturday." Gabe's mouth shut and his eye bulged. "Or I could just make one portion for Grant. The parents can have a nice salad."

Shit, Grant thought. When was the last time he'd seen his mother this fierce.

His father's face went red as a radish. He threw his napkin onto his plate and stood.

"Come on, Mom. Be nice. Chicken for everyone." Both his parents turned to stare at him; His mother with adoration, his father with disbelief. "Friday night dinner."

"If that's what you really want, Baby," his mother purred.

The patriarch growled, "Stupid cow doesn't know who..." as he stormed off.

Madeline turned towards her husbands retreating back, and opened her mouth to respond. But she felt her son's grip squeeze her thigh twice. "Hey," he said low into her ear. "Let's just be glad he's gone."

She turned to him with a wounded look. "Did you hear what he called me?"

"He is gone, Mom," Grant said, still holding tight to her thigh. "That means you're just here with me." Her features softened at his words. "And, what do you need to be when you are with me?"

His mother's wounded look shifted to veneration. "I need to be present when I'm with you."

Grant was stunned at his own composure and forcefulness. Where is this coming from? Mom's writing? Is it a reaction to how pissed off I am at Dad right now? All of the above, probably.

"That's right," he gave her thigh another gentle squeeze. "It's lucky for me that he left."

"Yeah?"

"Sure. For the rest of dinner, I've got you all to myself." He smiled, and he was surprised at just how wide it spread. His mother matched his grin with a radiant joy, and her legs spread slightly to help him keep his grip.

By and large the rest of the evening was pleasant. Gabe left for a bar he said made great chili cheese fries. The mother and son cleaned the kitchen and filled it with soft conversation.

"I'm enjoying how close you've been the last few days," Maddie murmured. "It's been great."

He tipped an imaginary Stetson at her and said, "All part of the service ma'am."

"Aw, shucks," she role played back. "But I hope you know that you don't have to. I would hate to think you were staying close because you feel obligated."

"No, Mom. I mean it when I say it's part of the service. It's part of the plan. The diet change and the workouts are two thirds. The last piece is keeping close as support; to encourage you to build up the habit of staying present.

"You've started drifting away. Dad seems to get meaner."

"Oh, He's always --"

"We need to build you up, Mom. He will either get with the program, or he will back off."

"The plan is a program now?" His mom's soft voice took on a flirtatious lilt.

"Yeah," her son chuckled back. "And the name of the program is Madeline Bloom getting fitter, physically and mentally. The physical part is in the basement and kitchen. The mental part is me keeping close and keeping you present."

"Well it seems to be working. My focus has really improved even over the last few days. It's made work smoother and more enjoyable too."

"That's great! I'm so happy to hear that!" His hands rested on his hips in pride, and he resembled the old superman pose. Adorable, she thought at the sight. Then the young man clapped his big hands, and said, "I nearly forgot to tell you. It seems to be working on me too. Something interesting happened at work."

The covetous mommy was wary when her son described the gym's top dumbbell, precious Patricia, showing increased interest in her young man. But Grant described an unexpected indifference to the skinny blond. Maddie had to clench her jaw to hold back how thrilled she was, but her big boy couldn't miss the sparkle in her eye.

She wanted to jump on him and cover him with kisses. The daydream couldn't be held back. In her mind she wrapped her legs around him.

"Mom? Helloooo. You there?"

Madeline cleared her throat to force her mind back to the moment. "I guess I still have to work on staying present. Y'know, I'm getting tired. I want to take a shower, and I have some messages...e-mails I was hoping to take care of before bed."

"Oh. Sure. Me too. I mean, the plan is to hang closer and more often, but not every second. I'll take a quick shower before I head to my room to goof around on my laptop for a while."

She felt dizzy at the idea of the two of them showering at the same time. They would be in different rooms, of course. But they'd be only a few meters apart. We'll both be soaking wet and naked. And I'll be thinking about... She cleared her throat again."Good. Okay. Well, if I don't see you before one of us falls asleep--" she stepped up to give him a light hug and a chaste kiss on the cheek. Her son pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed the top of her head. She felt an erection pressing against her stomach. It poked, rigid against her soft belly. This manhood was much bigger than the one she'd know for decades. She couldn't help questioning if it was actually a penis. What else could he have down there? A jumbo sized remote control?

Her body started to tingle. In a second her nipples would be like diamonds. In two, she'd be wet between her thighs.

"G'night," escaped in a sluggish note from her throat. She put her hands on his hard chest, and pushed out of the hug.

***

JaneRabbit1982,

Welcome to the community. I think you'll find everyone here open and warm. I have, and that's speaking from a few years of membership.

I don't know if I can be much help to your situation, though. My son has been extra loving and attentive lately as well, though I cannot say he's been handsy or flirty. He says he wants to help me and to be there for me. It makes me weak in the knees.

I've told you about that in order to tell you this: I do not plan on doing anything that might jeopardize our relationship. I can't know what he thinks or wants, and he means too much for me to gamble.

You mentioned your body's response to your son's flirtation, and asked if it indicates anything about your frame of mind about him. Of course it does! Imagine someone you hate touching you and kissing you that way. Could your body get excited in a context of revulsion? We don't get wet and they don't get very hard if there is no mental/emotional excitement.

Understanding this about human beings (and yourself) is important. It's a huge part of answering your other question about how I hadto embrace my feelings for my son.

But none of that means we have to endanger our families by acting on those feelings.

You asked how I will know when it is time to open up? I don't know. I doubt I could ever open myself up. My hairs go up at the thought. My fight-or-flight instinct kicks in whenever it seems like something might happen between us. I can't say how it should be for you and yours. But if my son wants what's inside, he'll have to open me up slow and sure.

From MadMommy1980's first reply to JaneRabbit1982

***

On Fridays all three Blooms worked the normal 9 to 5 shift at their respective jobs. For all intents and purposes, it was a normal day. Everyone was cordial as they got clean, clothed and caffeinated. They left for their jobs at approximately the same time.

The Bloom men arrived home at nearly the same time. Gabe regarded his son with a cautious distance Grant had never seen before. He wasn't cold. It didn't seem to be fear. He was waiting to see...something.

Before the son could broach the subject with his father, Madeline arrived in high spirits.

"I've got chick-EN. For the Bloom MEN. And I'm ready for the weekEND!"

"Ah," Grant said with fake self-pity. "The song of a woman who gets the whole weekend off work. Go ahead. Rub it in. ONE of us has to work a the gym on Saturdays."

Gabe cracked a smile. "Suck it up, buddy. Not everyone can have the good life like your mom and me."

"Yeah," Madeline joined in. "You can handle it. You're young and strong."

In truth, Grant's odd schedule didn't bother him, and his parents knew it. In an unrehearsed -- near instinctive -- decision, mother and son chose this time to smooth the father's feathers. Gabe already looked far less weary. He was going to get the meaty dinner he wanted. His wife neither ignored him nor glared at him. And -- if only in play -- he could take the role of the man at the top; the king in his castle.

Grant offered to help his mother cook. She waved him off, and said she wanted his father to chop some onions with her for his chicken dinner. Their son smiled as he disappeared into the basement for his workout while his mother started dinner preparations. He finished, sweaty and satisfied. There was time for a quick rinse before it was time to eat.

Grant came down in shorts and T-shirt with wet hair. His father way laying the last fork on the table, and his mother was entering from the basement.

"After handling raw chicken," she explained, "I wanted to put the hand towels in the washer right away.

"Makes good sense," agreed her son. He kept his smile warm and friendly. But he was choking down a more knowing grin. He knew the real reason she'd gone down there.

Dinner was served: Slices of chicken breast sauteed with butter and a French seasoning mix Madeline had ordered some weeks ago. It was served with pan seared potatoes, prepared with rosemary and a pinch of dill. It was delicious but otherwise unremarkable. Gabe pontificated on television shows neither his son nor wife watched, and listed which ones featured the hottest looking actresses. Mother and son kept their eyes on their plates, and made sounds that interested people would have made. When the patriarch of the household made his way to the fridge for a fresh beer (still raving about the gorgeous redhead in one of the CSI shows) Grant caught his mother's attention. When she looked at his face, he rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. The price of peace. He wanted to say it aloud. Both knew he couldn't. Madeline smiled at her son, and shot him a wink.

He winked back, and they heard the fridge door shut.

When all were full, Gabe said, "In honor of our return to eating real food, I will clear the table. Grant, pack up the leftovers and leave them to cool on the counter." He rose from his chair, the magnanimous king from his throne.

Madeline stayed in her chair and watched the men work. I guess I should enjoy this while I can. It's not likely to survive tomorrow night's vegetarian chili. Her son saw her watching and smiling. He put a hand on her shoulder to say, "It's good to see you here with us and happy."

It was the first time she'd felt her son's touch all day.

"I need to take a shower and change. I may stay up there and take care of a few e-mails when I'm done.

Both men agreed.

She went up the stairs to be sure her face wouldn't reveal the reaction she was feeling. Just a hand on her shoulder and a few words in her ear. It was startling how wet she was; how quickly her juices flowed for him.

***

It's been less than a week, and I already have more energy than before. It must be a mixture of the adjusted diet, the few workouts we've done and the close management of my "Big Coach." In any case, I'm running now too. I've been taking the steps at work all week. I have to get up and move whenever I have a break. I promised my son I wouldn't check my weight, but I'm sure I can already see some difference in the mirror. The extra bits are still there around my waist, and my ass hasn't shrunk. But it all looks tighter. When I hold my stomach tight, I can see shadowy hints at where the abdominal muscles lie beneath. It could be my imagination. But it's a perception (accurate or not) that drives me to keep going and doing more!

Who knows how irresistible a mother can make herself when she's got the right kind of motivation?

New post from MadMommy1980

***

Saturday, Grant didn't need to be at work until 1. His parent's were weekday workers only, so it was no surprise that his father was in the den and his mother was coming down the steps. He was cleaning up the remnants of his lunch when Madeline walked through the kitchen in black jogger's shorts and a tight red-orange top. Her shoulder length brown hair was pulled back into a pony tail.

He couldn't help doing a double take. "Woah! What's this about?"

She kept walking through to the living room, looping her ear buds behind her neck. "Oh," she said as if she'd forgotten to pick off a piece of lint. "I'm going running. My own little addition to the workout. Didn't I tell you?"

"No you didn't." He was smiling and staring at her bare legs. Their smooth shape was lovely, though they didn't bulge with muscle tone. Her ass spread the shorts wide, but this only made her waistline look smaller. Not all women could rock an hourglass figure like Madeline Bloom. "But it sounds like a great idea, as long as you don't wear yourself out or make yourself too sore for our workout tomorrow."

She opened the front door, and turned to smile again at her young coach. "It's just a little run, babe. Don't worry about a thing. I'll have a hot bowl of chili waiting for you when you get home from work tonight. And I'll be more than ready for our basement time tomorrow."

She didn't wait for a reply. The cagey mom stepped out of the house, and Grant went to the door to watch her go. There was a clear bounce in her step. And that bounce made her shorts move in a certain way that left a powerful impression on her son.

He turned back into the house to get ready to go. He grumbled to himself, "Fuck. I've gotta go work for eight hours trying not to think about that."

***

...I take your meaning about how lies and secrets build walls between us. I suspect that is a part of the distance between me and my husband, though...

...right: I want to connect with my son, not create "structures that disconnect." But these walls -THIS secret -- protects...

...second point genuinely challenging. Would I want him lying to me? Keeping secrets from me? In principal, I would not. But I trust him. I think that he would do so in order to protect me and us.

...important if I can understand his motive...said many times, context is crucial. Is he playing a game at my expense, or is he...

...if it is to preserve or improve our relationship or even...I could forgive it.

Hell, I could imagine a scenario in which I'd be grateful for his discretion.

Parts of a conversation thread between MadMommy1980 and JaneRabbit1982

***

Saturday night Grant got home late, as per his schedule. The chili was there as promised. His father was getting ready for bed without speaking to anyone. His mother kept him company and watched him eat.

"This is great. No beef in here, eh?" His mother smiled a wicked smile at her hands on the table between them. "I guess Dad wasn't happy about that."

She shrugged a shoulder. "Nothing I couldn't handle." They could hear Gabe's heavy steps on the floor above. "He's been giving me the silent treatment. Let him think it bothers me."

After her titters died down, Grant said, "Mom, you know that we don't have to be vegetarians to get in shape. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. You can include some meat in some meals if it makes your life with Dad easier, and you won't necessarily be making yourself unhealthy in the process."

"I know. I've been looking into it in my own time too. But this is healthier than if I'd included the ground beef."

"Sure. Still plenty of protein and fiber." He scooped another spoonful into his mouth. "Mmm. Hmm." He swallowed. "And you've made it delicious and spicy too."

"Good. You keep maneuvering Mommy in a healthy direction. I'll worry about what I serve to whom and how."

They each went to bed after an extra-long hug.

Sunday was a free day for all three Blooms. Grant slept in. Madeline seemed more exuberant after last night's sleep; bubbly. She decided to take a late morning run and invited Grant to join her.

He declined. "I still need my coffee and a little time to wake up."

She pouted at her son's answer. "Oh. That's too bad. I was hoping you'd come with me."

"Maybe next time."

"I guess you're scared that you can't keep up with mommy, huh?"

"Sure," he said, refusing to take the bait. "That must be it. Tell you what, I'll hit the weights in the basement while you're out. We can do your workout while we're both still warm."

The idea of training downstairs with Grant's musk in the air perked his mother right up. "Okay! See you later, sweetie."

"Have fun. Keep safe. Don't over..." he trailed off as his mother shut the door behind her.

Gabe left the house while Madeline was out on her run and Grant was in the basement pumping iron. He didn't tell anyone which bar he was visiting. His absence wasn't a problem.

Madeline descended the stairs into the scent that turned her on more than chocolate or champagne. Her well-toned son was grunting through the final reps of his last set. The sound revved her engine almost as much as the smell.

They were both sweaty. Grant reached for a nearby towel and water bottle. He wiped himself down and re-hydrated. His mother scooted past him in her damp t-shirt and shorts. She grabbed a small paper bag next to the washer and took it to the attached storage area.

"You ready to start?" he said loud enough to be heard in the other room.

"Stay over there!" she called back. "I'm not training in these loose wet things. I got something else for our workouts."

Wow! Sounds like she took JaneRabbit1982's advice. Good thing I created MomsHonestMan to second her advice. Through the to accounts he had responded eagerly to MadMommy1980's post about getting into shape. To his surprise Romantriarch and BoysMommaKrstn jumped on the bandwagon, urging MadMommy1980 to get a nice tight outfit for her private mother/son training sessions. Those two accounts were attached to real people with whom he had no contact.

When Madeline stepped into the doorway, he couldn't have been more impressed. The tropical patterned and colored boy-shorts held tight to her skin, and affirmed her thighs had little fat to lose. When she spun around, he could see her caboose was held nicely in place. The matching top had a close collar, so no skin could be seen of her chest. But the fabric held so close that one could see his mother had plenty to offer on top.

And she wants to offer it all to me.

If any other woman stepped to him like this, his hands would be on her in seconds. His mouth would be on her shortly after. He'd be testing the elasticity of those boy shorts within minutes.

But it can't happen, he reminded himself. Even if I was sure I wanted that (which I'm not.) It would scare her away. He remembered her online words: My fight-or-flight instinct kicks in whenever it seems like something might happen between us...if my son wants what's inside then he'll have to open me up, slow and sure.

There was only room enough to say, "Mom, you look incredible!"

She thanked him, and they hugged. She bounced up and down, rubbing her chest against his. A second later, she retreated; realizing what she was doing. She struggled not to sprint out of the basement.