All Comments on 'Mountain High'

The transitions back and forth were not smooth and the lead ins were poorly done. The Bob Carole both at the beginning of a sentence creates confusion that is not necessary.

sex whilst hillwalking, which is why I was drawn by the title. A hot story: would love to meet her on a mountain sometime...

But two critical points. I don't think the Bob/Carole POVs are very well handled. I know why it's written this way, but it takes enormous skill and patience by the writer/s to make this style work. I'm afraid you haven't got there yet, and sloppy editing doesn't help.

And... this is clearly set in Scotland (Inverness reference). So why not call a loch a loch, and not a lake, or once, 'lough' - which is of course the Irish spelling? Even backwoods US readers know what a loch is, so why be shy about your cultural heritage?

You might be interested in a couple of my stories which have mountaineering settings: 'Reaching the Summit Ch1' and 'Culra Bothy'.

Keep writing...

Two old pigs that can't write or tell a story very well boring that most likely why your sickos.

Ignore the Anonymous comments (complete with poor grammar and spelling!) and concentrate on continuing to write more stories in a similar vein. I enjoyed it very much, albeit a kinda unusual theme, hill walking and fucking! I can fully understand why so many young guys would want to fuck you Carole, you're built to be fucked. Keep up the good work, you've got me hooked! xx Ken

Ya ever notice that people who trash stories tend to focus in the stories -- unlike you. Face it, the true haters are people like you.