All Comments on 'Mountain Home'

Loved this story from beginning to end. thank you for sharing

Liked where you are going. Hope to see more posts. Putting you on my follow list so I will know if you post again. I like good stories with a little hot sex more than hot sex with little story. Seems like that is what you promise. You keep posting and I’ll keep reading.

5 stars for this one I know they will get better!

Good story. Could be a couple pages longer though

Pioneer life

Sarah and Jason carve a place for themselves in the west after losing both parents. They are resourceful and resilient. They rely on each other and develop a love and trust for each other that is unbreakable. I wish your description had included a bit of sexy chest hair for Jason's muscular and masculine body. He and Sarah truly love each other and will make a great pioneering family!

I am looking for another story along these lines of wagon train survivors moving west in the 1800s who are caught in a snowstorm. The couple, an older 40-ish man and a young woman of 19-20, are the only survivors of a wagon train. Luckily the man is a guide and knows where he might find a cabin to ride out the winter. They survive, make love, and he impregnates the girl before they move on toward Montana in the spring where they marry and settle down. I have lost track of the story-- I know neither the author or the title. I'm looking for someone who recognizes the story plot to tell me either author or title. can anyone help me?

I would like a description of the men and women. The sex sessions are a little boring and short. If you are doing several chapters I would like to see each longer than one page. You said this was your second story but I only could find his one in you history? Keep writing!

Well, it was too short! lol I know it is your story and you did put good details of the pioneering life, but would've liked some more details of the loving they gave each other. Just putting my 2 cents in. Good story line and could have made this story more chapters and entries. Thanks for your time and imagination.

Wow! This is a whole lotta story for one Lit page, very well done. Five stars.

I enjoyed reading your story I just wished it was a couple of pages longer . The base story was a very good idea but it could have used a bit more build up and bit more back story of the children from the birth of there first child to them both being late teens . Keep up the good work .

I liked the way the author described the setting and circumstances. He created a nice picture in your mind. I gave it 4 stars as I would have liked it more of it was longer.

Re the anon commenter "Yes!!!" , dude, you are one sick fuck. If you're going to leave a comment, have the balls to put a screen name to it.

I'm going to be critical here since no one else has. Please pay attention to tense. Is something happening in the past or present? Also you stated early in your story that a fellow traveler in the wagon train had died and followed that immediately with we dug 'their' grave and had services for 'them'. Here a single person was referred to two times with plural pronouns.

The dialogue was stiff and formal but I make allowances for that because of the time period. A few contractions wouldn't have hurt, though.

As to the sex...the descriptions were short and to the point, almost like the play-by-play of a sports announcer...I did this...she did that...in other words pretty boring. Invest a little time in crafting a sex scene that will arouse the reader - be more descriptive.

Finally, I have the feeling that English is not your native language. If this isn't true I apologize. In either case I think you should continue to write and improve your skills. None of what I've written here is meant to be anything but constructive criticism. Glowing comments from readers who know little about what makes a well-written story are not helpful. Thank you.

It could use some help, look to the comments

some of the better writters may help you.

There are some good ones out there.

4**** so far, not too bad.

..THANKS..

Nussin Metta siskon pillua paljaalla takaapäin asuntovaunussa.

I'm jealous that you have the ability to fit all that in one page. Some more along these lines and time frame would certainly be good.

Thank you