All Comments on 'Mouse Bk. 05 Ch. 01'

I know that this will build into something but this part alone is slow and seemed to be too dragged out.

Thank you for coming back to finish this story! Mouse is one of the only stories on Lit that I have read multiple times and I look forward to the rest of the piece

There's a lot more character progression here than there had been. Given how hot and heavy the last couple of chapters have been...well, it makes sense. :D

Please let Mouse and Michael be together! They can have a baby from an in vitro fertilisation with another man's sperm, maybe Dan's. It's no reason to break them up!

I like Mouse/Micheal together..

I liked the focus on Melanie this chapter. It was refreshing and new, amazing.

I think you should let Michael get one of his sisters pregnant, preferably Mouse because they belong together.

I was beginning to find Michael's nature too whining, insecure, and mopey, but as you apparently intended Mouse is getting him past that. I'm saving my overall comments until I've finished the series. You have written something quite good, quite complex and interesting, with good character development and dialog.

After introducing all the characters and letting the reader get to know Mouse and Michael really well, you finally showed us the rest of Melanie. It appears she is almost a big of a slut as Mouse, but she keeps it hidden. I loved it.

I love this but you slipped up Michael took mouse to her prom as well

But I still love this story