All Comments on 'Mr. Basketball Ch. 02'

...do you have one? You've got a lot of sentence fragments. It was fitting you ended this chapter with Jake and Teagan texting, since it felt like I was reading a text message.

But I hated the total lack of editing. Get a good editor. The errors are numerous.

I loved it. I love how you take the time to build a story. I hope there are more still waiting. Don't listen to the two idiots below on the comment list. They don't write in complete sentences either. oh wait, they haven't wrote anything on this site but negative comments.

But I agree with the other poster. Good characters and story, but this needs a proofreader/editor badly. There needs to be complete sentences, and there's a lot of little errors in here. I'll do it if you can't find someone.

You've got a good start here, but the grammar, sentence structure, and errors are really taking away from it.

Please keep writing, can't wait for the next chapter and what happens next.

Man this guy is stepping in it, lol. Reminds me of a co-worker friend of mine. His FWB was up visiting and she walks out the back door of the room to leave and not five seconds later his bitch gf walks in the other door! He didn't even bat an eye! Crap, I would have freakin' ulcers, lol!

As with some of the other commenters I find that sometimes your sentence structure isn't good. At times a lot of your sentences are written as rough notes with a distinct lack of personal pronouns. I don't know if you meant it as a writing style as it's mostly used when the scene is a little hot and heavy whereas in other instances you have proper usage, but it's distracting and makes for some stalled reading.

Other than that, there are a few missed minor words and some of the wrong words so a proof reader with an eye for detail wouldn't go amiss. On the whole though it's a good read with some nice pacing and I look forward to reading more of the story.