All Comments on 'Mrs. Hardison Ch. 01'

Nice story can't wait to see what else you got.

i liked it ... a lot. Believable and flowed very well. Looking forward to the next chapter.

... Freudian slips that you frequently used the word 'he' when you actually meant 'she'?

Clearly your proof reading leaves a lot to be desired.

I have a fetish for 4D something executive woman. Hope she scums to oral and anal favor's....maybe she get's a Brazilian wax for eddy...heeehe

Very very good and well written , hoping there is some other chapters

I swear, I'm really working on the editing ... sigh.

I liked the flow of this story. Getting to see the emotions from her was very well done. i didn't mind the minor typos; it was only a few towards the end anyway. I'd much appreciate a follow-up story or two. It would be interesting to see how these two end up, given that they are working together...Good job!

but it has spirit and fire... and is deeply unconventional. So it more than earns my five.

Very Enjoyable!

Others have pointed out the many typos, verb tense errors, and punctuation errors. A good editing job would fix this. However, a more serious concern is the dialogue. It is glib and flippant, like adolescents slinging barbs. These are two adults with large age and social class differences who together have just come through an assault and attempted rape. Pretty serious stuff, and therefore the dialogue should not be glib. Also, not calling the police to report a felony and catch the perp is just not believable, in my view. Her authority and judgment is impaired by circumstances and her reasons for secrecy never fully explained. Did a former high executive attempt to rape her in a parking garage? Really? She is seriously injured and needs medical attention for a head injury, not to mention the head whack the perp received. He's human, too, even if he is a criminal. The woman's back story makes sense but most accomplished people would have dealt with it and gone on with fully living. She didn't do that, which seems out of character since she has both intelligence and resources. I have to understand the characters for the story to work well and these are some of the points that detract from the story. Overall, a much better than average story and I'll read more of your work.

Great story,liked the quips made by Eddie,the English (myself) have always had a better sense of humour than the PC Americans.I enjoyed the characters and the storyline,editing not the best but far outweighed by the quality of the story.To the critics who make moral judgement on the characters,get a life it's a bloody sex story to titillate the reader,not a real situation,can you not distinguish fiction from fact,some people out there are not in sync with the rest of the world.

Spelling errors aside this was a wonderful story that I was reading on my break and continued when I went back to work. Keep up the good work. 5+

I agree with the others: a very engaging "read". The repartee between Gloria and Eddie was great fun. I look forward to more!

A really well crafted story, great build up and believable. can't wait for a sequel. if i may make one suggestion, Please get someone to edit your stories. well done again.

You ‘ve written a beautiful updating of Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew.” Don’t worry about the typo/spelling/editing issue. Some people have trouble seeing the forest for the twigs. Editors go at twelve for ten cents and people who can spell find their skill worth half that. Good old Will was lucky he wrote before the codification spelling and grammar. Scholars have found he spelled his own name 13 different ways. As for the glib comment, your writing is glib in the same way Will’s is. Good company if you can get it. Remember that writers write and the little people handle everything else.

Become Tamed od does Eddie get Exercise or Dead from too much Exercise.

Cant wait to hear how Eddie does in his New Job!

This seems to be the beginning of something real good! Thank you!

Well done! Humorous with a decent story. More descripton about how the characters look would help & I hope we get to see Mrs Hardison's kinky side lol Keep it up!

Alas, I read part two before I read part one. The first is better, I believe, mainly because of its clearer and snappier dialogue. I'm eager to read part three.

A very well conceived storyline and a nicely written story. The characters come alive in the words and extract sympathy from this reader.

Thanks for the very good start.

You have told an excellent story not like most story tellers on lit, yours is not full of wham, bam, thank you mam, your story has a lot of meaning and it could happen just like you told it. Keep up the good work and I am going to read some of your other stories and see if they are as good as this one.

Very well written. The wit from the characters is believable and brings the story to life. Looking forward to more.

i have not read such a superb story for so long... i love every bit of it!

The Mrs. Hardison I worked for wasn't nearly as much fun but every bit as demanding! This is excellent fantasy!

I love cold women, but I especially love being the one to warm them. I wish I could be in Eddie's position. Your writing is so well-polished and perfectly measured, yet it has real passion and emotion and is addictively entertaining. If you aren't a professional writer, you certainly should be.

fw typos, but they happen. Eddie, does so much for Mrs. Hardison then she really knows. As the healing she feels is happening but she hangs on to being the Bitch in charge.

One of your best

nice story. cool characters. and it continues. yeah!

A very nice story very well narrated. Hope the same trend continues in subsequent chapters as well.

I normally never critique anyone's spelling errors but when you forget the s on she, it messes up the entire vibe. "He straddled me" for example. But other than that a good read and very enjoyable.

When you have knocked some lout down and rendered him semi-concious. Take off his shoes and belt. No belt? Rip the fastener for his pants.

Also take his wallet and everything else from his pockets including keys, cell phone, even coins.

To be disposed of down the nearest sewer grating as soon as possible.

While you have his keys, hit the security button to id his car. Go over and smash turn signals.

Take insurance & registration papers and anything else relevant such as an extra phone) out of glove compartment, also to go down sewer.

Any weapons you find searching him or the car, toss into the car trunk. In plain view.

Leave the key hidden in magnet box. You want him driving. And when he gets stopped by the cops......

Just a little bit of experience that kept an unfriendly person of interest from continuing to pester me and mine. And never any blowback to me.

Still early going, but I love the characters and the story is starting to show promise.

Look forward to reading more chapters to see how this develops.

only forty minutes. golden!

Thank you. I hope the rest of the tale is equally agreeable.

James aka FinalStand

man where were you all these years while I was surfing Literotica? One of the best I've ever read; this is really fun. Needless you are one of the best writers i've come across in Lit.

Really enjoyed Ch. 01, heading to Ch. 02. Kudos !

minimum drama. simple plot. smart and straightforward characters. interesting setting.

Kept my attention throughout. Wonder what will happen next for Eddie.

Dear Author, A quirky, funny and irreverent love story which I truly enjoyed. I look forward to more stories of these two characters and thank you for the five star pleasure your little tale afforded me. jntiques/john

Promising start. Well written and good dialogue between them.

Finally! You nailed it. Exactly the type of story, attitude, and characters I have been looking for in the venue. Are there any more from you? I hope!! Thank you for an amazing read!!

Immersive. In the zone, man.

Avery nice story. AAAAAA+++++

Good quirky story well told