All Comments on 'Mrs. Young Ch. 03'

Keep writing!!

keep going.

love the build up and realism...

get an editor.

For example:

"barley" is a type of grain. you mean "barely".

"furred my eyebrows"? you mean "furrowed my brow".

both of these have been used three or four times each in the story so far.

Want more!

The build up is excellent, and the characters are being well developed. The son is an actual character, which is leaps and bounds ahead of other stories in this genre, but my one complaint is that all these independent chapter parts don't have the typical story arc apply to them independently (which is good actually, and I like that), but when the main character eventually goes all the way with Mrs. Young (so I can finally get off damnit), you're gonna need to combine all 4 (or 5 or whatever) chapters into one long story, because the story arc will truly be completed in that case. Keep at it. :) Your writing is excellent and realistic!

Very well done, I read the comment about the editorial/typo/errors and was surprised I had not noticed them. But then I was captivated by your teasingly pleasant storytelling. Very well done.

great story

I can't wait for the next piece...please email me when you are ready to post as I am not on here all the time and don't want to miss it!

FunInVallarta@gmail.com

Waiting for the next installment eagerly!!!!........make it fast!!

I like how you are building it up, however my fear is that you will tire of writing this story and move on. I hope not because there are so many more chapters to this story!

I would like to see Mrs Young and Matthew get together.

I don't usually like to see a wife get away with cheating on her husband, however with the amount of time that Mr Young is away, nobody can blame her!

hot sex good build-up with sexual tension-nice writing thanks

this is an interesting story and need more............ lots more..............

You are just gonna leave us hanging ?

I READ YOUR CRAPPY STORY JUST TO SEE IF IT GOT ANY BETTER, AND OF COUSE IT DID'T. ARE YOU SERIUOS A HORNY YOUNG WOULD HAVE FORCED IT OR TOLD HER TO PISS OFF AND LEFT. LEARN HOW TO WRITE SENSUAL AND EROTIC, YOURS HAD NEITHER.

You've presented this as a "for real" event. The plus and minus "tugs" leading to a serious affair. I love the (sometimes blunt) banter between Jen and Matt. The side plot with Anna isn't shabby either. Thanks for your efforts. It's a great story.

Bob.

Of people that absolutely love this story line. One of the best mature stories I've ever read. Te teasing is killing me. Please write plenty more. I'm hooked.

Still have the same opinion! LOVE THE STORY!

Still waiting do another chapter!

The buildup has been great and looking forward to the finish.

Just read all three chapters. This one was the best. I'm not holding my breath for chapter four, however, as it over a half a year since #3.

Great story. I was waiting for the payoff, seeing as how this was the last chapter posted, and it was some time ago, but I was denied. lol. It was really good, though, and probably even better than the payoff I was expecting. I hope you pick this back up and write more soon.

On a side note, yeah, you have some typos and misspellings, but they're not overly distracting, in my opinion. Sometimes those issues can completely ruin a story, but they're not prevalent enough in your writing to detract from the story.

It's been over 8 months and I am still waiting as patiently as I can for Chapter 4.

Is this story going to end here? The series is very enjoyable to read and I see I am not the only one waiting eagerly for more.

Hopefully you haven't given up on writing because you have a gift. Your stories are some of the few here that I find myself going back to read again. Very enjoyable, as I wrote.

hottest most well written story I have read in forever

LovingThis100 is:.

The only adult in this saga was Matt.

This is a great story hopefully you post another chapter soon

More chapters are in order and would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

TA

Jenny doesn't know what she wants. Michael is an immature brat. Anna is a manipulator to the nth degree. and Brandon is on an exploratory mission. It is his goal to learn what will turn Jenny into a quivering bowl of sexual jelly. To let her experience a completion heretofore absent from her physiognomy.

To let her know she is treasured, appreciated, adored, and desired.

Please let the student become the mentor.

good story but you left everyone hanging. They were close to making love . are was she just written as a tease? Are you going to finish it or is that it??

We in chapter #3 & this poorboy ain't got no pussy yet!! We gotta git him sum!& Soon!! Momma givin all them blowjobs, & she needsome hot meat too. I do love your writting.

"Can't win for losing"!

Hunh, what?

Conversing.

You're so much a tease! This has great story potential. Jenny, oops, Mrs. Young wants it badly. This is great! Tease... Now please.

Oh you have this nailed, so good at descriptions, love the characters and plot, many a young man’s dream

This story could drag on for many more chapters of these two dancing around each other. I hope that it gets better for the readers still hanging in there but I’m stopping here.

Brilliant writing!

Very sexy story. I like the way you portray the internal dilemma Mrs Young is facing.

Im guessing Mr Young is getting some on the side during his business trip? I guess we will find out later!