All Comments on 'Mum Reaches Out'

Liked the story. I'm interested in seeing where you take this. Please continue and thanks for your time and imagination.

Two paragraphs DONE, is it Tom or Paul

It's a nice start looking forward to more of the story. There were a few misspellings but over a good story.

The way the story is written makes it hard to keep reading, the writing style is so awkward that it keeps overshadowing the imagery.

Paul or Tom or multiple personalities?

This crap needs serious proof reading and editing. Like the other reader pointed out, Is it Paul or Tom? I made 3 paragraphs before I had to stop. To many incomplete thoughts. To many partial thoughts which don’t relate to one another in the same paragraph. Spell Check

Paul was filling his glass, Tom was answering Kay... WTF... The story is pathetically written

Look forward to next part

Paul or Tom. I hardly noticed. There was only one man in the story. Two women. And a dog. Shouldn't be that hard to keep track of; some people just like to complain.

Not because of the Tom/Paul thing.......because it was hard to read. I had to re-read about 3-4 times to figure out who the 3rd woman was in relation to Tom/Paul and his mom.

From that point I just skimmed forward to see if I was missing anything. When I saw the lesbian sex I just stopped. Not my kinda story.

For the read.

That says a lot about you ... and none of it is good.

I read the first few paragraphs and gave it up. If an author can't keep a character's name straight, I won't waste my time.

Many errors - hard to read, my Three stars were charity.

Do you proof read before you post any of your stories? Or at least have someone proof read them for you. It wasn't even worth the 1 start that I gave you.

At the fourth paragraph... If you can't e bothered about making your mind, why should I be nice ? Awefull writing.

I have to say that altho I don't mind a shorter story I prefer the longer ones. However I am glad yours was short cause for the first so many paragraphs the constant name change was both distracting and annoying.

1 simple edit and making the son's name either one or the other would make this story much better

The writing here is very awkward. The conversations are stilted and repetitive. Characters are too good to be true and Too Perfect to be true. And the narration is repetitive and weird. You need to find an editor or something.