All Comments on 'Murder on the Mainline: Florence'

Sadly it hasn't been edited properly.

It maybe a good story.

I may never know.

It says your last story was in 2011.

Have you learned anything since?

Sadly you will never know.

Perhaps it could have been broken up into multiple chapters. The beginning pages weren't particularly fast moving and the thought of over 30 pages remaining caused me to skip them, even though I was enjoying the references to places in my home province.

I didn't read enough of it to rate it.

Enjoyed the read, BUT would have been nice to have it in installments. Took several days to get through it, too long for one setting.

I suppose it may seem to drag for those who are not trucking enthusiasts or sleuth hunters. I guess that's just my style, I do write in detail and loved that old KW. You will find chapter two in the center of page two so I guess you didn't read much past the first page.

I made it through the story, all 36 literotica pages. It dragged a little in spots and the road description probably bored some readers.

But I drove the BC mountains regularly in the 70s and 80s, when Zellers was still around. I usually drove to visit family in Creston, Penticton and Chase, leaving after work Friday and driving through the night and dozing for a few hours at the pull offs. I never drove a rig but travelled through Jasper, Banff or Crowsnest Pass depending on where in Alberta I was living.

I enjoyed the walk down memory lane.

Thanks Dave. One of the best stories on here. I love that it was submitted in one instalment as a complete story as I'm all grown up and am able to read a bit and come back to it when I have more time.

Disregard the wingers, you've done a great job even if your hero has the morals of a dog! :-)

A little tedious at times but enjoyable. You mentioned air pressure of 20 pounds and dropping which is impossible as the spring brakes would have activated by then I am quite certain. Like the mystery and detective genre.

Boring start

Your basic premise is great - an exciting story with lots of sex. Thank you!

You do detail well - and could let go of some like the left and right turns through a suburb. Kind of zoom in to detail, like when he is freeing the burned tyre, but zoom out from the more mundane bits.

I liked all the sex - and wondered about the absolute lack of jealousy all round. Wouldn't it be nice if real people were so free about who fucks whom? It might be nice if literally everybody was lining up to go to bed with me.

Maybe you can let Mike show a few more human imperfections in future stories. All very well for him to be a sexy hero, but please not quit so perfect.